Page 115 of Beautiful Ruins
My legs gave way, and I collapsed into the dirt, my knees slamming against small rocks, a splintering sensation spiking through me. But not enough for me to feel anything more than the numbness.
Nothing mattered. Not if he was gone.
“Please, baby,” I whispered. “I can’t lose you, either.” It was nothing more than a broken plea, as desperate and shattered as I felt.
The past and the present folded into one, both suffocating me. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He wassupposed to find me, and take me home, hold me and tell me that everything was going to be okay. But now I clutched at the nothing that remained.
“Come on, Sades,” Bear said, hauling me to my feet. His voice was rough but gentle. “Rowan will come back. He knows what he’s doing.”
Bear didn’t get it. He didn’t know what it was like to be left behind like this, to feel the weight of it burying you.
I shook my head as fresh tears burned hot down my cheeks. Without thinking, I slapped him across the face, anger and desperation propelling me. “If he dies, I’ll hate you until the end of time. And even after that.” It was a curse, and I meant every word.
Bear clenched his jaw, a flicker of pain in his eyes as if he understood. “Well, that will make two of us,” he said. His gaze remained steady, unwavering. “Now get in the damn van.”
I planted my feet like a stubborn child, digging in with every ounce of defiance I had left.
Bear bent to my level, his large hand cupping the side of my neck. “He’s coming home, Sades. I promise you that.”
I nodded as my bottom lip trembled, and I collapsed against Bear’s chest. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. His steady heartbeat told me everything I needed to know—he believed Rowan would return home.
At least that made one of us.
“Please,” I said, glancing between Bear and Scout. “We can’t leave him. Snake is hurt, but I don’t trust Nicky. He could be out there, too, waiting for Rowan.” The thought of Rowan walking into that kind of ambush ripped at me, and I held Bear’s gaze, hoping it would make him understand. “Please, he’s your VP.”
Bear’s jaw tightened under his beard, the tension windingthrough his muscles. He glanced at Scout, who was shifting foot to foot. He was ready to go at the first sign of Bear’s resistance waning.
Scout gave a half-shrug. “She’s not wrong, bro. We can’t leave him alone in this.” His words hung in the air, their loyalty warring with their orders.
I saw my own fear reflected in them—uncertainty, guilt, and that same desperate need not to let Rowan down. I knew they wanted the same thing I did, knew they were fighting the same internal battle.
Bear groaned. “Fuck. Fine.” He pinned me with a glare, an ultimatum burning behind his eyes. “If you get yourself killed, I swear to God, I’ll bring you back myself, just to kill you all over again.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
ROWAN
Blood and mud and something sour infiltrated the air, growing stronger the closer I got to the arsehole bleeding out.
The entire field behind the warehouse was shadows and long grass, a graveyard for every terrible choice I’d ever made, and now I was wading through it, my boots leaving imprints with each step. A rusted-out oil drum sat tipped in the weeds, half-swallowed by earth. No one would find a body here. Not unless they were looking to bury another.
And right now, it was home to Snake—and where I was going to leave him to rot after I tore his insides out through his throat.
I stepped around a large tree, and there he was, sprawled in the weeds, choking on his own fucking blood, a sticky trail of red leaking from the fresh holes in his gut and leg. Even with his insides leaking out, the bastard still couldn’t shut the fuck up.
For a moment, I considered walking away, letting him bleed out while the wild dogs ventured closer for a bite. But I’d neverhave given the prick a chance of living, not after what he’d done to Sadie—to me. That would have been the easy way, and I didn’t do easy.
I stalked closer, boots silent, gun low and ready. Snake’s cut was half-off his shoulders, the patch invisible under the pooling blood. He’d always wanted to be a legend. I could almost respect the commitment, if I didn’t want to see him choke on his own tongue first.
I kneeled, close enough he’d be able to sense me. His eyelids fluttered, consciousness warring with the pain I’d hoped was fucking unbearable. When his hollow gaze landed on me, the fucker even managed a laugh—more of a wet, ragged gurgle, really.
“Thought you’d come running,” he rasped, every word bubbling with spit and blood.
“Couldn’t let a brother bleed out alone,” I said, voice tight. I pressed my thumb into the wound in his stomach, hard, driving in every ounce of rage I’d buried since Logan died, since Sadie screamed his name like it could bring him back. Snake shrieked like a stuck pig. I shoved the digit in further, unflinching. “Stupid move going after Sadie.”
His grin widened, blood foaming between his crooked teeth. Even as his body convulsed, he was still taunting me with the threat of what he once was—a greasy prick without a conscience.
“Oh Rowan, always the hero.” His breath whistled in and out, a high-pitched wheeze. He coughed, a shudder rolling through him, and for a split second I thought it was the end. But the fucker clung to life, clinging to the power it gave him. “Truth is, I was just going to make it look like an accident. You know, like I did with Logan.”
