Page 245 of There's No Us Without You
Up close, her eyes are bloodshot and swollen, as though she’s been crying.
Are those tears because of me?
The instinct to pull her to my chest is overwhelming, but I know I don’t have the right to do that anymore.
So, instead, I just sway in front of her like a drunk moron. “I had to see you,” I say, shoving my hands into my pockets so I don’t reach out and touch her.
I sway backwards a little, my legs weak. How the fuck I made it here without ending up in jail, or dead, is beyond me.
Eden grabs hold of my shirt, tugging me forward. “Are you drunk?”
Blinking a few times, I shake my head. “I only had one... or two,” I say, letting her lead me to the outdoor bench on the porch.
She raises an eyebrow. “You’re a terrible liar.”
“I know.”
Pretty sure I’m about to throw up, my stomach churning, bile rising into my throat. I swallow it down while my legs bounce.
I’ve never been so nervous in my entire life, but that may be because nothing has ever mattered to me as much as this moment.
“Stay here,” Eden says, before disappearing back inside. She returns quickly and holds out a glass of water to me. “Drink this.”
I take it from her, our fingers touching for the briefest of seconds. “Thanks.”
The water is soothing against my scratchy throat. When I’ve downed the entire glass, I place it on the small side table to my right.
Eden curls up on the seat next to me, but she may as well be miles away with how much distance she keeps between our bodies. “How’s Em?” she says, giving me a tight smile.
I nod, keeping my eyes down as I lean forward to rest my elbows on my knees. “He’s fine. I think.”
There’s a long moment of silence. Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea. Seeing her just makes everything worse.
I’ll remind Wren the next time I see him that his advice is shit.
“What about you, Will? How are you?”
I glance over at her, the nausea from earlier making a second appearance.
This is my chance.
“I need you.” I reach for her hand, mine shaking. “Come home. I fucking miss you.”
Tell her you love her, dickhead. Isn’t that why you came here?
Her bottom lip quivers as she squeezes my hand. “Oh, Will,” she says, cupping my cheek, her beautiful eyes searching mine. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
My chin trembles and I drop my head, sniffing. “I get it,” I say, my chest tightening. “But I just need you to know that themoment you walked away from me at Tyler’s funeral”—I glance up again—”my world stopped spinning and I was left holding my breath until you stepped out that front door just now.”
That’s pretty close to saying ‘I love you’ right?
Eden sobs, her hand now sweaty and shaking in mine. “It’s not that I don’t want to. I’m just not ready. You’ve been through so much, I just?—”
“I’m sorry, baby.” I lift my face to stare at the warm glow of the light hanging from the porch roof. “I don’t blame you for what happened to Tyler. He got himself messed up in that shit way before you came into his life. Maybe...” I clear my throat. “Maybe it’s my fault and I should have been a better brother.”
Eden slides closer and grabs my face between her soft hands. I fight the urge to grip the back of her neck and slam my mouth to hers.
“Listen to me, Willis Becker. What happened is not your fault, just as it wasn’t my fault. Do you understand?”
