Page 232 of There's No Us Without You
I wipe my tears from my cheeks with Emerson’s shirt, loving and hating the smell of him. “I threatened them, Em. If I hadn’t, Brady wouldn’t have had a reason to come after me. Tyler was defending me, and it ended up costing him his life. I can never give Will his brother back. I took away their only chance to repair their relationship.”
Oh god. I really have ruined everything this time, haven’t I?
Emerson sighs and swipes at his cheeks. “It’s fucked up.”
I pull away from his warmth and wipe my nose with the back of my hand. “That’s why I need to leave,” I say, zipping up the suitcase. “I can’t look at Will, knowing that I took everything from him.”
“Where are you going to go?” Emerson searches my face as he eases himself onto the edge of my bed.
“Home.” The word doesn’t sound right coming out of my mouth. That place never felt like home.
This is my home, but I’m not welcome here any longer.
He frowns. “Your mum’s place?”
I nod and pull the suitcase off the bed. It falls to the ground when my weak arms are unable to hold its weight.
“But I don’t want you to leave. I fucking love you.” Emerson grabs my hand, stopping me. More tears fall down his cheeks, and onto his shirt, leaving little wet patches—mingling with the one I left there moments ago. “You belong here with us. And I can’t lose Tyler and you in one night. Please, Eden. Just stay.”
I shake my head. “Will doesn’t want me here, Em. You heard him. How can I stay knowing that I’m causing him so much pain when he looks at me?” I cup his cheek, wiping his tears with my thumb. “I can’t do that to him. To you. You have each other, you’ll be fine. I promise.”
Emerson licks his lips and takes a deep breath. “But I don’t want that—Will doesn’t either. Give him some time, he’ll come around.”
I’m not sure if the words coming out of Emerson’s mouth are for him, or for me, but I’ll let him believe what he needs to, if only to get him to let me go.
“Maybe when everything calms down.” I bring his hand to my lips and close my eyes, savouring his scent, his warmth.
Leaving him is going to break me.
Once I’m packed, I head downstairs and place my things by the door, giving the place I’ve called home for the last two months one more look.
The couch where we made love, the kitchen where I was the happiest I’ve ever been. And to one of the men who taught me I was worthy of everything I ever dreamed of. Who taught me I never need to be ashamed of what I am, or what I want.
And especially of what I look like.
But none of that matters now. Tyler is dead because of me, and I can’t ever take that back.
If Will never forgives me, I won’t blame him.
Emerson presses a hip to the edge of the island bench, his arms crossed over his chest. “I’ll miss you,” he says, lifting his gaze to mine, tears rolling down his cheeks again. “You know this is where you belong, right? This is your home, baby. Please come back to us.”
I don’t have the heart to tell him I won’t be back. I can’t. Not now. Too much has happened, and it’s best for all of us if we move on—separately. Emerson will be there for Will the way he needs it, and with their relationship evolving, I know they’ll be okay.
They have each other and that’s all I care about.
I walk over and wrap my arms around him, breathing him in. “Look after Will and tell him I’m sorry. I love you,” I say, giving him one last kiss, our tears mingling as we say goodbye.
“I love you.” Emerson pulls away and scrubs his hands down his cheeks. “I always fucking will. You brought us together, Eden, whether you want to acknowledge that or not.”
With a sad smile, I grab the suitcase from the door. Then I pull the car keys from my bag and place them on the hall table.
“No, Eden. The car is yours. Take it.”
“You know I can’t.”
It’s a memory of when everything was simpler, and we had the entire world at our feet.
A sob rips from Emerson’s chest, and he shakes his head, his body trembling as he hugs himself.
