Page 117 of There's No Us Without You
Throwing his hands up, he gets into my face. “So you don’t want me?”
“That’s... that’s not what I’m saying. Just fucking listen to me.”
Emerson shakes his head, jaw clenching. “Nope, fuck this shit. I’m not hanging around to be screwed over for a second time tonight.” He storms past me, shouldering my chest as he does. “I’m going to bed. Good fucking night.”
The sliding door slams shut seconds later. On a groan, I scrub my hands over my face.
My best friend admitted he has feelings for me, and I just stood there like a goddamn idiot.
How the fuck am I going to fix this mess?
THIRTY-THREE
Eden
It’s justafter 7:30 a.m. when I finally drag myself out of bed the next morning. I’ve been awake for the last two hours, staring at my ceiling fan as it rotated.
I couldn’t get the look on Emerson’s face from last night out of my head. Every time I tried to come up with a way to tell him how sorry I am, it always ended in a vision of him still hating me.
Not that I blame him—I hate myself for what I did. I’m a horrible person, and Will only reminded me last night of just how horrible I really am. The look of disgust on his face was plain as day when he found out what I had done.
He was beginning to trust me, and now I’ve ruined that relationship as well.
There is nothing more soul-destroying than having someone you care about look at you like you’re not worth the chewing gum stuck to their shoe.
After trying so hard to be nothing like my mother, that’s exactly who I turned out to be—a manipulative bitch who only cares about herself.
Now that my dirty laundry has been aired in the open, I plan to move out as soon as possible. The boys won’t want me here after everything I’ve done, and it’s not fair to stay knowing I caused so much hurt.
First, though, I need to face Tony and let him know I won’t have his money after all. But I don’t regret my decision to tell Emerson the truth.
Sure, I’m devastated, and to be honest, I thought it would break me completely, knowing I won’t be able to keep my promise to my dad. If anything, though, I almost feel relief.
I’m no longer lying to the men I’m falling in love with.
I press a hand to my chest, a sob escaping me as I let the tears fall down my cheeks.
I’m falling in love. Real, heart-racing, heartbreaking love.
I wipe my eyes with the heels of my palms and grab my phone just as it vibrates with a text from Tyler.
Tyler: You okay, Edie girl?
My hands shake as I type out a reply.
Me: I’m fine. I messed up, so I need to put on my big girl panties and take responsibility no matter the consequences. I don’t regret telling Emerson. He deserved to know the truth.
Tyler: I’m proud of you. Just remember we all fuck up. Call me if you need me.
Me: Thank you!
After shoving everything I can into my suitcase, I leave it on my bed and close the door behind me, my movements heavy, my entire body aching. When I pass Emerson’s bedroom, my footsteps slow.
I’m so fucking sorry.
The last thing I need right now is to come face-to-face with him, or Will, so I pick up my pace and head for the bus stop to take me to work—Emerson’s car is no longer mine to use.
I’m way too earlywhen I arrive at the restaurant, so I unlock the front door and head to the back room to store my bag. If Smith is already here, maybe he can show me how he gets his roast potatoes extra crunchy. I need all the distraction I can get right now.
