Page 46 of Worthy Now
Dear Ms. Davidson,
We’re happy to hear you have accepted the position within our company and are very much looking forward to working with you. We understand your personal situation requires much of your attention at this time, and hope that everything will turn out well for you and your family. We’re happy to give you the time needed to deal with said personal matters and are eagerly awaiting your first article. Please review the attached contract and have it signed and returned to me by the end of the week. Don’t hesitate to reach out to me personally, should you have any further questions.
Sincerely,
Sandra Brown
The name of the magazine at the bottom of the email doesn’t ring a bell. It’s spotting the location that hits me like a punch to the solar plexus.Los Angeles, California. I can’t believe what I’m seeing. My heart pounds wildly in my chest—palms sweating, nostrils flaring, as I force myself to breathe through the pain.How could she?
Did she really accept a job in LA, after she’s assured me time and time again that she has no intention of leaving? How could I have been so fucking blind? I should’ve seen this coming from a mile away. Should’ve learned from the past and known Tessa would never stay long-term. She’s left me behind to pursue her dreams before. Why wouldn’t she do it a second time? Her mom is well on her way to being handed a clean bill of health, responding exceptionally well to her combined chemo and radiation treatments.
Obviously, Tessa has taken the positive prognosis as a sign that it’s time to refocus on her career and resume her old life. And even though I should’ve considered this outcome, given we’ve been down that road before, I can’t help but feel utterly blindsided. I could’ve sworn we were on the same page this time. It’s taken a lot for me to put my trust issues aside and open myself up again, and I truly thought Tessa was sincere when she told me she wanted a future with me.
The old familiar anger rears its ugly head, and all the resentment and mistrust come rushing back with a vengeance, making my stomach turn.How pathetic am I?Walking around like a love-struck fool, daydreaming about marriage and babies, and a matching set of fucking rocking chairs. And here is the love of my life, taking on jobs halfway across the damn country without so much as consulting me. I stare at the blurred words for what feels like an hour, willing them to disappear. I’m in such a state of shock, I don’t even hear the water shut off. Jumping at the sound of her voice, I whip my head around and stare at Tessa hovering in the doorway, wearing nothing but a towel and a look of concern.
“Is everything okay?” Her head is cocked to the side as she worries her lower lip between her teeth. I have to swallow past the lump in my throat and lick my dry lips in order to form the question that’s sitting at the tip of my tongue.
“What the hell is this?” I croak, flicking my wrist at the open laptop and the email it displays. Tessa moves closer, and I sidestep her, like just being near her is too much for me to handle. She glances at the screen and her eyes pop wide at the same time her hands shoot out in front of her in a defensive gesture.
“I can explain.”
“I can’t fucking believe this,” I roar, swiping an arm across the desktop and sending the contents flying before I shove both handsinto my hair, gripping it at the roots. My chest heaves, tears welling, as I clench my teeth so hard my jaw cracks.
Tessa flinches at my violent outburst, and I notice the way her hands shake as she clutches at the damp terrycloth around her torso. But I don’t have it in me to feel bad. How dare she make me believe that we could have it all? Taking the time to glue all my broken pieces back together, just to shatter my hopes and dreams all over again?
“Jake,” she begs in an unsteady voice, beseeching me to listen. I squeeze my eyes shut and rub a rough hand over my face, inhaling deeply in an attempt to get myself under control.
“Save it. Whatever you’re about to say. I don’t want to hear it.” I meet her glistening eyes and glare at her with the intensity of a thousand suns. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice—” I mutter, shaking my head with a mix of regret and bitter amusement. “I’m such an idiot. I can’t do this right now. I have a meeting to get to. I should never have let you back in to begin with. What the hell was I thinking?” Raking a hand through my hair, I drop to my haunches, scooping up the contents of my dropped manila folder with trembling hands. “This was all a huge mistake. We,” I say, looking up at her as I gesture back and forth between us, “are a mistake. A goddamn disaster waiting to happen.”
“Jake, please,” Tessa pleads and starts toward me when I rise to my feet. I hold up a hand, stepping around her so fast she almost loses her balance. “Don’t touch me right now. Please. If you care for me at all, just go. Pack your shit and go back to your big fancy life in your big fancy city. Start your new fancy job at your fancy ass magazine, and—”
“Jake Erik Nelson!” she shouts, making me rear back in shock while she stands with her hands on her hips, all but stomping her foot and meeting my eyes head-on. Her chest rises and falls in rapid succession, and she briefly squeezes her eyes shut. She sucks a long breath through her nose, like she needs all the patience she can muster to deal with my shit before she pins me with a hard look.
“You’re going to stop talking and start listening. Got it?” The menacing way she arches her brow, daring me to defy her, has me swallowing hard and I give her a single nod. “I’m not going back to LA.”
“You’re not?” My voice is small and unsure as I stare at the girl who holds the power to make or break me with a glimmer of hope. Tessa’s expression softens and she shakes her head like I exasperate her.
“I told you I’m staying, and I meant it. How could you even think for a second that I’d just up and leave again after what we’ve built these past few months?”
“Well, the evidence was kinda hard to ignore,” I say, waving a hand at the mangled laptop resting at the foot of the far wall. I’m beginning to feel quite foolish.
Tessa rolls her eyes. “It looks a lot worse than it is and if you would’ve stopped to give me the benefit of the doubt instead of flying off the handle, I could’ve saved you a lot of money. This will cost you an arm and a leg to fix. What happened to, ‘Let’s communicate better’? To ‘Let’s trust each other’? What happened to, ‘I’m a lot more zen these days’?” she drawls in a poor imitation of my baritone. “Therapy my ass,” she mutters under her breath, and I feel my cheeks heat with embarrassment.
She’s right. I haven’t behaved like this in years. Acting on impulse, before asking questions and throwing shit across the room. I have no idea what came over me, but the mere thought of her abandoning me again sent me straight into a tailspin. Tessa’s shoulders lower, and her anger fades when she sees how stricken I am. I don’t move when she steps toward me, and I allow her to thread her fingers through mine. Her lips flatten into a tight smile as she looks at me with more understanding than I deserve.
“The magazine I’m starting with has been following my writing career for a long time and they’ve had an interest in me for years. When I needed to make a career change to move back home, I reached out to their chief editor. I asked her if she would considerletting me write remotely, and she told me they’d take me any way they could get me, as long as I have access to a reliable internet connection and submit my articles on time. I may have to travel for work occasionally, but honestly, it’ll be nice to visit Caleb every once in a while and catch up with old friends. I’ve also already informed them that I will be cutting back on my hours to focus on my novels more, and I don’t have to live in the city to publish those.”
I exhale a shuddering breath and will myself not to cry, swiping a couple of fingers along the underside of my nose to get rid of the burning sensation.For God’s sake. I’m a grown ass man. I will not bawl like a baby because my girlfriend told me she’s not breaking up with me.
“You’re not leaving?” I breathe, and Tessa cups my cheek as she flashes me a loving smile.
“I’m not leaving, you big idiot. I’m here to stay if you’ll have me.”
I lower my head and fuse our lips together, tangling my hand in her hair and moaning into her mouth when she doesn’t hesitate to return my hungry kiss. The sound of fabric hitting the floor makes me pull back, and I bite the inside of my cheek while I take in the nude goddess standing before me.Mygoddess.Mywoman.
“You need to stop looking at me like that. You know I don’t have any self-control where you’re concerned, and you have an important meeting to get to.”
“Shit,” I bite out, gathering the papers I’ve once again dropped in favor of getting my hands on Tessa before I glance at the clock on the wall. “I’m so sorry I jumped to conclusions and acted like an ass. I promise I’ll make it up to you later, but I really have to get on the road.”
