Page 3 of Worthy Now
“You know, one of these days you’re going to have to talk to me. You can’t avoid me forever.”
He mutters something under his breath that sounds suspiciously like, “I can try,” before his gaze darts to the bar, like simply being in my general vicinity makes him uncomfortable.
“Jake, please. For old times’ sake. Can’t we at least try to put the past behind us?” Jake squints his eyes at me, jaw ticking with irritation.
“Well, we all know you’re a pro at leaving the past in your rearview, Teresa. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy for some of us. I gotta go,” he tags on for my friend’s sake, giving her a final squeeze before he releases his hold on her. “It’s nice seeing you out and about, Megan. You girls have yourselves a nice evening, yeah?” Before I have a chance to say more, he’s already turned away, his long gait eating up the distance as he rejoins his friends.
Megan flashes me an empathetic smile and leads us to an empty booth across the dance floor. We take a seat, and I immediately reach for the cocktail menu, stoically surveying my options and pretending the big purple elephant in the room doesn’t exist.
“He’ll never forgive me for leaving, will he?” I blurt out when the ensuing silence becomes too much to bear. Megan’s answering sigh is heavy as she lowers the menu and meets my sorrowful expression.
“Give him time, Tessa. Getting over you wasn’t easy for him. He just needs to get used to having you around again.”
“I’ve been back for over a month. We’ve run into each other several times since, and each one of those times he’s given me the cold shoulder. I didn’t expect him to welcome me back with open arms, but it’s not like I’m the only one who’s made mistakes. I kind of hoped he’d meet me halfway. That we’d be able to act like reasonable adults and not bite each other’s heads off whenever we’re in the same room together. I mean, come on. We’re not in high school anymore, for God’s sake.”
Megan’s lips press into a thin line, giving me the distinct feeling she doesn’t share my opinions. I can’t bring myself to care. I’m tired of being treated like an outcast, and my frustration with the situation, as well as the man himself, is getting harder and harder to ignore. I can’t blame Jake for holding a grudge. He has every right to be angry with me. I robbed us of the chance to get closure, and I know I should’ve at least tried to make amends before I left for college. But I never meant to stay away this long. There are reasons that led me to keep my distance all this time. Things I haven’t told a soul about. Things not even my parents are privy to, and when they called to inform me of my mother’s illness, my priorities shifted. I did some serious soul-searching following that fateful call, and I realized that it’s past time I’d put an end to this ridiculous charade. Not confiding in Megan over the years has been incrediblydifficult, and the need to clear the air is almost unbearable. And yet, I hold back.
“Look, Tessa. We’ve been friends for years, and I love you like a sister. You took me under your wing when I first moved to town. You introduced me to our boys and made sure I never felt like the odd one out. I’ll forever be grateful for the way you welcomed me into your group, but if you’re hoping I’ll take your side on this, I’m afraid I’ll have to disappoint you.”
I try not to take it to heart. I’m well aware we’re not as close as we once were, and that’s one hundred percent on me. I should’ve made more of an effort to stay in touch, and even though I understand Jake’s been a big part of her life these past few years, her words still sting.
“No, listen to me for a minute,” she urges when she notices my crestfallen expression. Reaching for my hand, she waits for me to meet her eyes before saying, “We were thick as thieves after we met, and I’ll always treasure those memories. You were the most amazing friend a girl like me could’ve wished for. But then I got pregnant, and you left for college, and even though we talked on the phone, you weren’t here to see the aftermath of your choices. You didn’t see what it did to him,” she elaborates, glancing at the bar area. “He struggled so much after you left. He lost himself, Tessa, and it broke my heart to witness it. I understand why youneeded to put some distance between you initially. You needed space to work through the clusterfuck of a situation you guys found yourselves in. I get it. But once you’d had some time to reflect, you should’ve given yourselves another chance to work things out. You owed him that much after years of friendship and everything you’ve been through together. Hell, you owed it to me and my family to visit more and you sure as shit owed it to your parents.”
I cringe, making it obvious she’s hit a nerve. I hold a lot of guilt over the way I handled things after our falling out. My incessant need to avoid confrontation had not only affected my relationship with the boy I once loved but the others as well. Not being able to come home whenever I felt homesick, rarely ever experiencing my mother’s warm hugs or my girl talks with Megan just about killed me. But I couldn’t risk running into him.
Yes, I had my reasons, but in light of my mom’s cancer diagnosis the hurdles that once seemed so impossible to overcome just seem silly and insignificant now.
“I’m sorry, Megan. I know I’ve been a shitty friend. I missed so much. The birth of your children. Your wedding. Even though I do have a decent excuse for that one. Trust me, I’d much rather have watched you walk down the aisle than writhe in agony in an overcrowded E.R. Ending up in the hospital with acute appendicitisis not something I’d recommend.” Megan cracks a smile, and I feel the tension in my shoulders ease. “Countless times I wished I could turn back time and do things differently. But you have to trust me when I say I did what I thought was best for everyone involved at the time.”
“And will you ever tell me what really happened, or will your reasons for steering clear always remain a mystery?” She blows out a heavy breath, not giving me a chance to answer. “You know, for years, I told myself it’s none of my business. That this is between you and Jake and that you’ll figure your shit out eventually. But damn it, Tessa, you holding your cards so close to your chest affected all of us, and I think it’s past time you stop bluffing and just lay them all on the table already.”
“I promise I’ll explain everything as soon as I can, and when I do, you may be able to understand my actions a little better. But I need to talk to Jake first. You’re right. I owe it to him to come clean, and he deserves to hear my side of the story before anyone else.”
Megan huffs in frustration and thanks the waiter when he stops by to drop off two ice-cold margaritas. “I ordered the first round when you were in the ladies’ room,” she tells me when I raise a brow at the unexpected but welcome delivery. “Figured you could use the liquid courage when I realized Jake was here.” And boy, was she right. I can’t remember a time when I craved the numbingcapabilities of top-shelf alcohol more than I do at this very moment. Megan takes a tentative sip and sighs with appreciation before addressing me once more. “You know, I’d love to support you and your choices, but all this secrecy is not making it easy for me to have your back. Jake has proven himself to be a loyal and reliable friend time and time again, and once he dug himself out of that dark hole he’d fallen into after you moved away, he really was our saving grace. Carter and I owe that man everything.”
The fierce conviction in her tone tells me these aren’t empty words. She believes this to be true, and I take another swig from my drink once I’ve asked her why she thinks so.
“When Robert died, and he was finally given full reign of the company,” she explains, talking around a chunk of ice before crushing it between her molars. “He didn’t shy away from making the hard calls. He weeded out the bad apples and immediately offered Carter a full-time position. He worked tirelessly to get Nelson Construction back on track after his good-for-nothing father all but ran it into the ground, and after he received the money from Robert’s life insurance policy, he came up with the idea of flipping houses. We still lived with Carter’s parents at the time, and as much as I love my in-laws, we desperately needed to get out of that basement.”
Megan’s wistful expression speaks of the challenges she’s faced, and I can’t help but feel gratitude toward Jake for having been there for my friends during their time of need.
“Carter was too proud to take charity from his parents, and he was juggling three minimum wage jobs, trying to save up enough money for a place of our own. It broke my heart knowing what he’d given up in order to support me and our son, just to work these mind-numbing jobs that barely paid enough to put food on the table.”
Megan swallows hard before a rueful smile comes over her features. “Jake was the one who finally convinced him that putting up the money to buy a house wasn’t charity. That he’d been playing with the idea for a while but knew he wouldn’t be able to pull it off on his own. He told Carter he needed a partner and someone to help look after Anna and Jude while they put in long hours. Seeing as I was home with Nathan anyway, and feeling pretty damn useless as it was, I practically jumped at the chance to return the favor.”
“I remember you telling me about this on the phone a few years back,” I say as I try to recall the specifics. If memory serves me right, Carter balked at the idea initially but had eventually agreed, and because of the boys’ unrivaled work ethic, they’d managed to fliptwo houses within the first year, making it possible for my friends to buy their forever home.
“That year was one of the toughest years of our lives,” Megan admits with a faraway look. “Raising a toddler in a construction zone was a fucking nightmare. Anna and Jude spent most of their days at our place, because Jake only seemed to go home to shower and sleep. The boys worked their day-jobs with Nelson Construction and focused on our investment properties after hours and on weekends. Fifteen-hour days weren’t uncommon, and I don’t think they ever took a day off. I’m not a fool,” she says around a mouthful of margarita. “I know Jake took a huge financial risk when he spotted us that money, and he certainly didn’t need the extra workload. He did it because he knew Carter was miserable and too proud to accept a handout. He gave my husband a purpose. Something to be proud of at the end of each day, and I’ll always love him for that. He’s my family, Tessa, and when it comes to my family, I’m fiercely protective.” My friend offers me an apologetic smile and gives my hand a gentle squeeze. “I hope to God he comes around and gives you another chance because, to this day, I still believe you two are meant for each other. I love you both dearly, and I want to see you happy. But here’s the thing about those protective instincts,” she says, giving me a pointed look. “Once you love someone, you just can’t help butworry. I don’t want to see him get hurt again. Jake’s been to hell and back, and he’s not as trusting as he used to be. He’s scarred and guarded, and breaking through his defenses won’t be easy. Now it’s on you to decide if he’s worth putting in the work,” Megan finishes, issuing a silent challenge.
I blow out a tired breath in an effort to regain control over the emotional turmoil churning in my belly.
“All I want is a chance to explain myself,” I tell her in a voice that oozes defeat, and Megan’s gaze instantly softens.
“Look, I’ll do my best to put in a good word for you, but in the end, it’s up to him whether or not he wants to hear you out. I won’t risk the friendship we’ve built by pushing him toward something he doesn’t want. He might seem put together on the outside. But behind that tough exterior, he’s still the same abused little boy you once knew. So, I’m asking you to tread carefully. I see how you look at him, and you can tell me you didn’t come home for him all you want. The longing in your eyes tells a different story. If you decide to pursue him and see if that special connection you once had is still there, you better make sure it’s what you want this time. Because if you manage to work your way back into his heart and then decide he’s not what you want after all, he won’t survive it.”
I take a moment to let Megan’s words sink in as I allow my gaze to wander across the room and settle on the man in question.Dragging my eyes across his wide shoulders, over his broad back and down between those narrow hips, I let them linger on his tight ass a little longer than appropriate. He’s fully engaged in a conversation with his friends, throwing his head back as he laughs heartily at something the bartender said. On the outside he looks relaxed, utterly comfortable in his own skin. But I’m a journalist. I know damn well that nothing is ever the way it seems. There’s usually more to the story than surface-level research first suggests. You just have to be willing to dig a little deeper. If Megan is to be believed, then maybe Jake isn’t acting like a jerk because he’s being spiteful or even out of sheer stubbornness. Maybe he’s struggling with my sudden reappearance because I threaten his calm exterior. He’s keeping me at arm's length to protect himself. As if he can feel my eyes on him, he catches my gaze and holds it like he needs to assure himself that I’m real.
My heart gives a single hard thump when I catch a flicker of emotion in his baby blues.Could it be? Could he still be just as crazy about me as I am about him? Do we truly have a chance to rekindle the flame that has always burned far too hot to be ignored?
