Page 48 of Say Yes to the Nemesis
The Rustin siblings are many things. Stubborn, impetuous, absolutely unwilling to admit that we’re ever wrong. But we’re an unstoppable trivia team. We’re usually joined by a few of Jay’s friends too, so I know it’ll be a casual night of shouting answers over greasy bar food.
A small part of me kind of expects to see one particular giant hockey player sitting right next to him. I promise myself I won’t be disappointed either way.
He probably won’t be there. But if he is… what will I say? What will I do? What if he acts like last night meant nothing?
When I show up at the Tin Shed, I’m surprised by the crowd. The pub is packed. As I slip in the door, an old vinyl record spins in the corner. A dozen mismatched tables are already full of shouting regulars. It’s hot and bright in here. I have to wade all the way to the back of the room to find Jay and Calla.
Every step into the pub feels like I’m walking across a stage. My coat’s too warm, my leggings feel like sandpaper. I already regret the lipstick. What was I thinking? I’m not Calla. I don’t float into rooms and own them.
But a year ago, I would’ve been somewhere in the background, hiding behind my laptop. Hoodie up. Eyes down.
Now I’m standing here in a pair of glittery Converse and an outfit that turns heads. I don’t shrink away from it. I don’t apologize for it.
This version of me doesn’t fade into the wallpaper. She’s a little scary, but she’s also mine.
“Hey,” I say, giving Jay a quick hug before turning to Calla. I pull her into a longer, more satisfying one. Her curvy body ismade for hugging. Not like mine. Skeletons make jokes about how gaunt I am.
Me, I’m all elbows and flatness. No one ever looked at me like I was built for anything but disappearing. Sometimes I’m pretty sure even Jay forgets I’m in the room.
I slide into the chair beside Calla. Jay shifts his gaze to his wife.
“Hey, babe,” he says. “Can you give me and Wren a sec to catch up?”
Calla rises from the table and nods. “Of course. Bennett asked me to talk to him about wedding cake for an event they’re having, so I’ll just go do that.”
She slips off. Jay moves into her seat and smiles at me.
“What’s up, sis?” he asks. “I haven’t heard a word from you in days. Are you all right?”
I take a deep breath and nod. “Yeah, absolutely. I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. Work has been crazy.”
Jay raises an eyebrow. “How are things atThe Last Kissset? Hope it’s not too hectic for you.”
That gives me pause.
“Well… funny you should say that. I thought I’d be pulling my hair out running around as a production assistant, but it turns out that’s not what they need me for.”
Jay stills and gives me a hard look.
The moment stretches between us. For a second, I hate lying. But I also hate that if I tell him the full truth, he’ll try to fix it. That’s what big brothers do. I can’t afford to be fixed. Not right now.
“No,” I say quickly. “Not like that. I’m actually filling in for a contestant. Hanging out in front of the camera. It’s… surreal.”
“Whoa. How did they talk you into that?” His brow furrows. “You’ve always been extremely camera shy.”
I bob my head. “Yeah, I still am. But the head executive producer promised me a big fat bonus and a promotion if I played along. She and I have a plan. It’s kind of fun to be the secret mole, so to speak.”
I trail off for a second.
“Ryan is on the show,” I add quietly.
I don’t say the other part. That I kissed Ryan. That I can still feel it. That every time I look at him, my stomach flips like I’m sixteen again and hiding a stupid crush in my diary.
Jay’s face screws up. “Wait. You guys are on the same show? I thought maybe they shot multiple seasons at once or something.”
I can feel heat spreading up my neck and across my cheeks.
“He is the bachelor. And I’m playing along. Pretending to try to win him over. It’s… silly.”
