Page 28 of Say Yes to the Nemesis
I see that Raven has pulled out a book titledSpiritual Divinationand tossed it on her bunk. She shimmies out of her dress and hangs it up, then changes into dark jammies. Divya pulls on a satin teddy and carefully applies gold under-eye patches.
It’s quiet in the room as we all change. Heidi takes off her makeup with a disposable cleaning cloth. Seeing the girls in their natural state is a bit startling. There are no cameras, so there’s no reason for Divya to needle me or Heidi to be flirtatious.
Raven arches a brow at me. “Do you want me to do your tarot?”
“No.” I sit down on my bunk and shake my head. “I’m completely wiped out by the elimination ceremony. I feel like all that aggressive energy flowing around stole my vigor.”
“I get that. The rose ceremony was weird.” Raven sighs. “It’s nice that we can be friendly, at least for now. Maybe we’ll make some new friends.”
“That a nice change of pace. Usually girls on these shows are like, ‘I’m not here to make friends, I’m here towin.’ Which is gross.”
As we settle in, Raven stretches out on her bed. “I just want to see if falling in love on reality TV actually works. That and the free wine. That’s really why I’m here.”
“That’s very honest of you,” Heidi says, chuckling.
Raven shrugs. “I’m an honest bitch.”
Divya looks up. “Well, I’m here to be seen. What else is there to do after med school?”
“I don’t know. Save lives?” Raven suggests.
“Ugh. Boring,” Divya shoots back, grabbing her toiletry bag like it’s sacred. “I’m changing and starting my self-care routine.”
“This feels like summer camp,” Heidi says.
I’ve never been good at summer camp. Or sleepovers. Or any place where I have to pretend I belong. I’m great at school and structure. I’m not great at competing for love in front of a camera.
I pull on pink silk shorts and a white camisole. “Yeah. If summer camp had cameras, heels, and one guy dating twelve women.”
Heidi winks but says nothing.
After unpacking, I pull out a Greek mythology book and drop it on my bed. My phone, given to me by the show and which has no internet capability, buzzes. I check it and immediately wish I hadn’t.
A text from Ryan:
Outside patio. Five minutes. Don’t make me come find you, Rustin.
My heart stutters. Ryan. Demanding as always. Even here. Where we can get caught. Cameras are everywhere. Doesn’t he care?
If anyone sees me sneaking off to meet him, the narrative will write itself. I’ll go from weird invisible girl to desperate villain in one episode flat.
I should ignore it. I should delete it. But my fingers hover over the screen like they’re waiting for permission to want something impossible.
Unfortunately, my body tenses with excitement anyway. It’s muscle memory at this point. Hear from Ryan? Heart races. Brain short-circuits. Soul quietly begs for dignity. I hate that my body doesn’t listen.
When I look up, Raven is smirking. “What? Did your evil overlord text you or something?”
“No,” I lie. My ears warm.
“You’re blushing,” Heidi says gently.
“It’s warm in here.”
“Only your ears are red,” Raven adds.
“God. Don’t worry about it. I’m going to wash my face.”
Grabbing a hoodie and my toiletry bag, I slip out quickly. I stash my bag in the nearest open bathroom and hurry downstairs. The house is quiet, dimly lit.
