Page 149 of Say Yes to the Nemesis
Ryan finally looks up, but not at me. He stares at the seat back in front of him like it holds the secrets of the universe.
I want to say something. Anything. But every word I think of feels too small or too big or too dangerous. So I stay quiet and watch the ground get closer, knowing that every mile brings us back to reality.
Back to the mansion where we’ll have to pretend we’re just contestants on a dating show. Where he’ll go back to kissing other women and I’ll go back to being the weird girl who doesn’t belong.
Ryan immediately unbuckles his seatbelt and stands, grabbing his bag from the overhead compartment without a word.
I follow him down the narrow aisle, staying a few steps behind. Like I’m his shadow again. When we reach the bathroom at the front of the plane, he stops abruptly and I nearly crash into him.
“Ryan, I…”
He finally turns, and our eyes meet. Something cracks. Not anger, not lust, just everything we’ve been holding back exploding all at once.
Before I can finish the sentence, he’s backing me into the tiny bathroom, his mouth crashing against mine with desperate hunger.
I should push him away. Should tell him this is exactly what I was trying to avoid. But God, I’ve missed this. Missed him. My hands fist in his shirt and I kiss him back just as desperately.
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he growls against my lips.
“Ryan, we can’t…”
“I know. I know we can’t. But I can’t stop.”
His hands slide into my hair, tilting my head back. I’m drowning in him. In the taste of him, the smell of him, the way he’s looking at me like I’m the only thing that matters.
“This is insane,” I whisper.
“I don’t care.”
His mouth moves to my throat and I have to bite my lip to keep from moaning. We’re on an airplane. The crew is probably wondering where we are. But I can’t bring myself to care about anything except the way he’s touching me.
“Tell me you don’t want this,” he says against my skin.
I open my mouth to lie, to tell him exactly that. But the words won’t come.
“Wren.”
“I can’t.”
“Can’t what?”
“I can’t tell you I don’t want this. But I also can’t do this.”
He pulls back to look at me, his eyes dark with frustration and want. “Why?”
“It’s going to feel amazing and perfect and real. Then it’ll be over. You’ll pick someone else. I can’t survive that.”
He stares at me for a long moment, then steps back, running his hands through his hair. “Right. Of course.”
The hurt in his voice makes my chest tight. “Ryan…”
“Forget it. You’re right. This was stupid.”
He pushes past me and out of the bathroom, leaving me standing there with my heart pounding and my hands shaking.
By the time I make it out, he’s already off the plane.
The car ride back to the mansion is even worse than the flight. We sit on opposite sides of the backseat, the space between us feeling like an ocean.
