Page 80 of Coach Me
I glance ahead to make sure the light is still red, then look at the front of the paper. It’s framed with gold and yellow drawings, and Lucie’s name is written all fancy up top. Then in the middle are the guidelines she told me about that she has been keeping to.
Yeah, this definitely isn’t something Miles is supposedto have. I look back at the light again to make sure it’s still red, then flip it over—holy fuck.
A car behind me honks loudly. “Fuck.” I drop the paper on my dash and start moving again. Holy shit. Lucie didn’t mention anything aboutthoseguidelines.
“Daddy?” Miles’s voice cracks in the back. “Is everything okay? You said a bad word.”
I did, didn’t I? It’s like my brain short-circuited, and the honking pulled me out of it. “Everything’s fine. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. The honk was just to tell me it’s time to move again.”
“Okay, can I have the paper back now?”
Absolutely not.
“I think this paper is for Lucie, Miles. This wasn’t actually meant for you.”
I don’t think it was meant to be seen by anyone—I don’t know how I can unsee it.Get a toy. Find a kink. Sexually inspiring outings.It’s seared in my brain.
Okay, deep breath. You’re about to take your son to your ex-wife, and showing up with a hard-on is not what’s about to happen.
Christ, this day has sent me on loop after fucking loop. Is she doing these things with other people? She said they were just for her, but the thought of her doing any of these with anyone but me fills me with this out-of-body rage.
No one deserves to do these things with her unless they see what I see. Granted, I’m not entirely sure I deserve to do them with her considering I’ve done nothing but fight this attraction to her.
How did running into a girl at a coffee shop get so damn complicated?
Standing outside Kate’s apartment, Miles knocks wildly.
“Mommy!” Miles jumps to Kate the second she opens the door.
“Hey, sweetie, I’m happy you’re here.”
“Me too! Daddy said I couldn’t bring Pip and Pop.” Miles’s face drops for a minute but then bounces back. “But Lucie packed all my swim stuff.”
“Did she now?” Kate shoots me a small look I’m not really in the mood to entertain. “We’ll see if we have time for that.”
Don’t say anything. Don’t say anything.
I kneel down to meet Miles’s height. “I’ll see you in two sleeps, okay? You can call me anytime too.”
“Okay, Daddy. Love you!” Miles gives me a quick hug but the excitement of being at a new place has taken over. Once his hands let me go, he’s bolting through the door.
“Love you too,” I say, but can’t be sure if he heard me. “Call me if he needs anything, Kate.”
“Call you or your nanny?”
“I’m not entertaining that question right now. Have a good weekend with him. I’ll pick him up whenever you’re ready on Sunday.”
“Alright. Oh, and I have a work trip to New York next weekend. Same time you’ll be playing the Crimsons. I thought it would be good if we all got to spend some time together.”
Shit. I know this isn’t about me. The mention of Lucie right off the bat by Miles has gone straight to her head.
“You know we’re going to be pretty busy at the games. I’m not saying you can’t come to a game, but Lucie’s going to be in charge of Miles on those days.”
“Dex, is that really necessary?”
“Necessary isn’t the word to use here. I’m flexible,but we have to have boundaries. It’s her job, and she knows the routine on game days.”
Kate rolls her shoulders back. “We’ll talk about it later.”
