Page 121 of Coach Me
We lay in the hotel bed for another ten minutes just kissing. A slow, love-filled kiss that makes every single inch of my body feel alive.
So alive that it apparently remembers I did not get to eatmy lunch. My stomach growls, and our laughter fills the room again.
When we get back over to our suite, it’s still quiet. Dex keeps his voice low. “I’ll call us in some room service, then probably wake Miles up when it gets here. Do you want anything in particular?”
“A concession stand hotdog?” I joke as I raise my eyebrows with a sweet smile, but based on the look on Dex’s face, he’s already thinking of ways to get me the hotdog from the stadium. “I’m kidding. Just get me whatever you get. I’m so hungry, I could eat anything right now.”
“Okay, baby.” Dex kisses my temple, and while I think he’ll get me food now, I’m sure one of the guys will be bringing back an assortment of concession stand food later.
I head out to the small balcony attached to the suite. The view of New York isn’t as nice as the one from Dex’s penthouse, but I guess I’m a little partial to Boston in general.
With a deep breath, I sit back in one of the chairs and let my eyes flutter shut for just a moment. The street noise might be crazy, but there’s still peace in this moment because Miles is safe, Dex and I are strong, and food is on the way.
When the sliding door opens, Dex steps out. “Food’s ordered.”
“Okay, want to sit out here with me while we wait?”
I gesture to the other chair, but he walks right past it and picks me up out of my chair before sitting back down and pulling me in his lap.
“Well, this works too.” I adjust, getting comfortable and resting my head back on his shoulder.
“It works so much better.” Dex kisses the top of my head when the sliding door opens again.
Kate steps one foot on the balcony, leaving one foot still inside. “Hey, Miles is still asleep, but do you have a second?”
I look back to Dex, letting him handle this one. I know this isn’t about them being together, Dex has made that so perfectly clear, but if he needs to handle this without me, he can.
“I can go?—”
“No,” both Dex and Kate speak at the same time.
“You deserve to be a part of this conversation, Luce.” Dex adjusts me in his lap, pulling me tighter as he sits up, then holds out his hand toward the other chair for Kate to take a seat.
The metal of the chair legs scrapes against the balcony floor as she pulls out her chair. Getting a read on her is next to impossible. Her and Dex may have similar personality traits, but I don’t know if my “we’re a team” speech will work on her like it did him.
Kate settles into the seat then looks straight at me. “Thank you for today.”
“Of course, you’re welcome.” I can’t say I fully expected that to be the first thing she said.
“Listen, I know you want to have a talk about co-parenting, Dex, but I’ve been thinking…” Kate shuffles in her chair to look at the massive building in front of us. “I want you both to know that it’s not that I don’t love Miles. Because I do, and it’s not that I regret my decision of having him…it’s just that being a mother isn’t what I wanted. Even though it may not always appear like it, I have tried.”
Dex makes a small noise behind me, and I lightly smack at his chest. I saw the fear in her eyes today when Miles went missing. I know Kate cares—it’s very different from the way Dex and I do, but I believe she does care on somelevel.
Kate cuts her eyes to us with a huff. “Just hear me out, Dex. You want to talk about co-parenting, and I agree. The idea of you and I getting pregnant seemed as if I could haveall the things, all these things I thought I should want as a woman. This mom with a beautiful family and a great career, but Miles deserves more than what I can give him. I know it. You know it. Hell, it’s the main reason I left, really. But then you go and hire this young blonde girl who my son goes on and on about…and I get in my head—like I failed at something I didn’t even want to begin with.”
I feel every muscle of Dex tense. His hand squeezes my thigh lightly for about ten seconds before he relaxes. I can see him mentally fighting off an argument, and I get it. I don’t see how someone would not want Miles, but that’s me.
Dex is right, I am a caretaker. I want to be a mom. Honestly, in an odd way, I already think I am. I want to nurture and care for each and every person around me, but that’s not who Kate is.
I reach for Dex’s hand, and he threads his fingers through mine with a sigh. “So, what are you saying, Kate? That you don’t want to see Miles?”
Kate sinks in her chair. “Dex, you were meant to be a father, but this—this isn’t meant for me. I love Miles, and I don’t want to abandon him, but Lucie is the mother figure he needs. I know it might be hard to understand where I’m coming from, but it’s my truth. As unfair and selfish as it seems to you both, I know I’m not capable of giving Miles my all.”
I sit in silence for a minute, letting her words wash over me. I can see why she thinks I wouldn’t understand, but flipping the perspective, Kate just seems to be giving a slightly different version of what my dad did.
Kateforms a thin line with her lips before looking at me. “I really can’t thank you enough for finding Miles and letting Dex and I have that moment alone with him. I’m calm in courtrooms and on business calls, but this just isn’t for me. I’m not about to step into your relationship; that's for you two to decide, but if you want to tell Miles about your relationship, then do it. I would still like to have my scheduled weekends because I know Miles deserves to have some of me, but he needs a mother and father more. I don’t want to stand in the way of that.”
I may not have needed a blessing from my brother or the support from my sister, but I think I needed this. Dex really needed this. I know this is the start of our relationship, but he’s carried so much guilt about this divorce—this could be what he needed to let it go.
