Page 79 of Coach Me
Lucie rests her chin on her hand with a sweet smile. “I know. I’m just waiting to find them in his backpack mid-flight.”
“Remind me to check on them Sunday before we leave,” I say, finally dropping Miles’s bowl in the sink. “So what’re your plans for this weekend?”
I want her to say that nothing changes and she’ll still be the brightness in my day. I need her to say that she’s going to go visit her brother or sister, mom, anyone that keeps me from breaking.
“No plans in particular.” Lucie slides off her stool and meets me at the sink with her breakfast. “I think I’ll go to one of the yoga classes today. Maybe go around to some stores, then come to the game later.”
“You still want to come to the game even though you don’t have to be there? I mean, your favorite player isn’t even on the team anymore.”
Lucie bites back a smirk. “I regret telling Miles that, ya know?”
Hmph, I sure as hell don’t.
Taking some steps back from her, I lean against the island. “Don’t worry, I’m just going to hold it over your head for the foreseeable future.”
Our future.
Lucie hums with a smile. “Well, we obviously don’t haveto talk about this right now, but just floating the idea by you. What if you did want to be a player again?”
Lucie’s eyes dart to mine cautiously. I don’t know how to respond to her honestly. The idea has crossed my mind, but I only let it cross it—I don’t think about it more than that because it’s the decision I made, even if I wish I could play again.
“I’ve just been thinking we seem to have a pretty good routine here. Like Miles said, you were my favorite, and I know you retired for him, but it seemed like a choice you maybe regret…”
And this is coming from the girl who can’t even see what makes her so damn special. How she doesn’t see that blows my fucking mind.
“Luce, I appreciate the offer, but I don’t know if that’s?—”
“Lucie!” Miles yells from down the hall.
Lucie chuckles, then steps toward me.
I swear we’re just two magnets constantly feeling this pull, because I was just about to meet her in the middle.
“Just think about it…” Lucie whispers. “For me?”
I swallow hard and nod, because I’m pretty sure I’m unable to give a verbal response.
Is she right? Could I play again? I would really like to do that, but, hell, it almost feels as uncertain as acting on my feelings with Lucie.
I dwell on each variable—each possible outcome of playing again as we get ready to go. When Miles launches himself into Lucie’s arms with a goodbye hug, I can only think of the variables and outcomes that involve me getting to have more of Lucie.
Fuck, I know hiring Lucie was supposed to lighten the weight on my shoulders—not fucking add new ones. Staycoaching—play again? Tell Lucie how I fucking feel and maybe end up with the girl I was supposed to have all along, or fuck everything up for the second time and hurt my son, yet again, in the process.
My mood has completely tanked. God, I just want to get one thing right.
On our way, Miles kicks his feet happily on the back of my seat. “Hey, bud, think we can maybe stop kicking my seat?”
“Sorry,” Miles snorts. “Hey, Daddy, do you think you can read this paper? I think Lucie drew it, and it’s really pretty.”
I look in the rearview mirror, angling it so I can see Miles. He’s flipping around what looks like an invitation. “I’m kind of driving, so not really, but are you sure that’s one of the things for you? Where did you get that?”
“I got it from Lucie’s bag. She said there was coloring stuff in the bags, and I found this in one of them. I think Lucie drew it, and I’m supposed to color it in.”
I’m not sure about that. It’s hard to tell while driving, but from quick glances, it seems more likely that Miles grabbed something he wasn’t supposed to.
“Can I see it?” I reach my hand back just as we come to a red light.
Miles slaps it in my palm. “Here you go.”
