Page 27 of Despite It All
He pulls back off my chest but doesn’t get off me entirely. Part of me doesn’t want him to either. I hate the wordsthat are about to leave my mouth. “We can’t do this, Jett. We can’t be together.”
Jett furrows his brows as he processes what I said. He wants to push back. I know he does. He sighs. “Wy…”
I can’t bear to hear his reasoning, so I blurt out the first thing that pops into my mind. “No, I’m not someone to entertain you when you’re in town. I’m the mother of your child, that’s all.” The words don’t even feel right coming out. I don’t think that’s what I would be to him, but it sounds better than I’m scared… kind of.
I try to escape out from under him, but he only holds me closer. “Wyla, you would never be someone to justentertainme.”
“Jett, you play in the major leagues. You travel all over the country for months.You live on the other side of the country.We won’t work. Let this be what it was.”
“And what was it, Wyla?”
I don’t even know how to respond. This is me being selfish again. Me wanting him but not deserving it. Oh, man this hurts already. This is why us starting something is a bad idea.
“Wy…”
I close my eyes. He needs to understand. “Please, Jett. I don’t think I’ll survive yourheartbreak.”
Jett leans up, letting me up from the couch. Deep breaths Wyla. “I just can’t… We need to focus on being her parents first. She deserves to be put first.”
Jett stands up and cups my face. His shoulders drop as those deep blue eyes study me. “Wyla, she will always be first, but I don’t understand why you can’t be up there with her.”
I feel the waterworks starting to force their way out. I swallow down the lump in my throat. “No, Jett. This is how it has to be.”
Jett pulls me to him, and I don’t have the will in me to fight him off. The truth is, I really don’t want to, especially when he says, “If this can’t happen again, then I need one more taste.”
He kisses me hard, like it’s a punishment hard. Never wanting to stop hard. It’s almost enough to make me take back everything I just said, but then…
“Mommy! I need to go to the bathroom,” Stevie yells.
Chapter 8
After peeling myself away from Jett, I got Stevie situated, but her nap was officially over. I kept my distance for the rest of the afternoon, letting Stevie have Jett’s full attention for the last hour he’s here today.
“But I don’t want you to leave. Why can’t you stay?” Stevie whines.
Jett squats in front of her. “Don’t worry, Little Bee. I’ll see you tomorrow, I promise.”
She wiggles on her knees, staring down at one of her Barbies in her hands while she thinks. “Promise, promise?” she mumbles.
Jett chuckles. “Promise, promise. Be good for your mom, okay?”
Stevie smiles and nods eagerly, satisfied in their plan, and starts playing with her Barbies again. Jett stands up and looks at me, the smile he had with Stevie slowly fading.
Our conversation feels raw and unfinished, but both of us know we can’t continue it with Stevie in the living room. I walk him to the door, and Poppy follows. I let her out and step out onto the porch.
“She has a gymnastics class tomorrow at six, if you want to come. I can text you the address.”
He nods. “Yeah, that sounds good.” I half expect him to be angry with me, or at least short, but his voice is calm and soft. “I know it seems unfair to ask, but I’d like to spend as much time as I can over these next two weeks with you both.”
You both, not Stevie, you both.
My heart lurches in my chest. “It’s not unfair. I still have to work during the day, but we can work stuff out for the afternoons during the week.”
“Okay.” He looks at me so sincerely, and I want to melt into him. He leans in and plants a small kiss on my forehead. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Wy.”
“Goodnight, Jett,” I choke out because of the lump that’s back in my throat, and I can’t seem to get it to go away until his car pulls out of my driveway.
Once I finally get back inside, I immediately grab my phone to text my sisters. What I wouldn’t give to have our Sunday brunches back, but after Stevie was born, they became a little more sporadic, every other week for themost part. Then Winry had Georgia, and it was a miracle if we made it once a month for a while.
