Page 21 of Despite It All
We continue to follow Stevie’s lead. As we come up on a veer of two paths, Stevie curves left, and we follow behind her. “So, what about you?”
Wyla cocks an eyebrow. “What about me?”
“What do you like to do? Still sing karaoke and believe that Jack isn’t a bourbon?”
She holds back a laugh then shrugs. “I’m a mom. My days consist of working and keeping the child alive. Not really a ton of time outside of that. My drunk karaoke days have been put to the side for now.”
I look over at her. I remember her seeming younger when we met, but she was drinking at the bar, so I knew she was over twenty-one, but I can’t remember if we even talked about our age difference. “This probably seems like a question I should have asked five years ago. How old are you?”
This time, Wyla actually does laugh, and it’s everything I remember it to be. “I’m twenty-seven, you?”
“Thirty-four.” I remind myself of the time lost. “So, you had Stevie at twenty-two?” Fuck, she didn’t even really get to enjoy her twenties without any major responsibilities.
“Technically, twenty-three. I was twenty-two that night in Nashville, but my birthday is in February. It was my last year of college too. Since Stevie was born mid-April, I still had a month left and had a certification test to pass. Thankfully, everyone was really accommodating. But for my certification test, my mom had to sit with Stevie in the car because she refused to take a bottle for the longest. So, I had to feed her, go take a two and half hour test, then race out and feed her again.”
“Damn. I’m sorry, Wy.” All I can think about now is how it should’ve been me sitting in the car with Stevie. I missed out on so many things with her, but Wyla had to miss outon stuff too.
“Don’t be. I’m not saying it’s been easy, but I wouldn’t trade it. Despite how it happened, having Stevie was my choice. I don’t regret it.”
We come up to a part on the track next to a big open field with rows of spring flowers scattered about. Stevie stops and practically jumps off her bike. “Mommy, can I go pick some flowers?” she squeals.
Wyla smiles down at her. “Yeah, baby, but you remember the rules?”
“Pick the flowers, don’t crush them.”
“Good job. Okay, you can go.” She squeals again and races into the field. Wyla turns to me. “Come on, there’s a bench over here. She’ll be doing this for a good minute.”
I pick up the tiny pink bike and follow Wyla over to one of the wood benches off the track.
“When my mom retired, she joined this gardening group to give her something to do. She really took to it. For years, this track had been so run down and she sweet-talked my dad into getting the mayor to put some money back into this place and let her gardening group have this field to plant whatever they wanted. She took it upon herself to name it too.” Wyla points to the sign next to another bench.
The Stevie Rose Flower Field. Free seasonal flowers.
“Is that her middle name? Rose?” I ask with a pull in my chest.
“Yeah, it’s my mom’s favorite flower.” Wyla shrugs. “I thought it sounded good together.”
“It’s my mom’s name.”
Wyla sighs. “This is about to sound awful, but I know. Well, I didn’t know she was your mom at the time, but when I talked to Anna about the name, she said it was her mom’s name too.”
The guilty look Wyla has been giving me off and on is currently taking over her face. I hate it so fucking much. “Wy, you know this isn’t your fault, right?”
Wyla doesn’t answer right away. I can almost see her battling thoughts in her head as she contemplates what to say back. “I just don’t know how I didn’t see it or even think about it, really.”
“You know I don’t either.” I chuckle, and she gives me a puzzled look. “I mean, it wasn’t like you came home from a city that is what? Seven… eight hours away? Find out you got pregnant from this asshole who didn’t give you his full name or phone number. So then you decide to have the baby—while still going to college, mind you.Then give birth and take home this tiny baby, with no one to truly help you, and figure it all out by yourself. Keep the child alive every day, work, and take care of yourself too. I mean… really, Wyla, it’s not like you were even busy,” I say, jokingly.
Wyla lets out a small laugh and a very contained smile. She shakes her head.
I take her hand in mine. “It’s like you said. We could worry about the ‘what ifs’ all day, but it won’t change where we are now.”
Wyla looks down at my hand holding hers and sucks in a breath I don’t think she’ll ever let out until Stevie bounces over with a pink flower in her hand.
“Can you hold this for me, Mommy?” She drops the flower in Wyla’s lap before she can even answer and runs back to the flowers.
I pull my hand back, and Wyla seems to relax a little bit. We sit on the bench and watch as Stevie buzzes like a little bee from flower to flower. Every few minutes she comes up and gives Wyla another flower for her to hold. She’s very meticulous in her choices. The flowers have to be just right for her to pick them.
After her tenth flower, she comes back up. “Okay, that’s all I want. We can finish the loop now.” Stevie hops backon her bike and takes off again. I look at Wyla, and she just shakes her head and smiles.
