Page 64 of Despite It All
“I’ll eat those. You”—he taps my nose—“get fresh ones.”
“Mmm, look at you. I think someone has been practicing being a book boyfriend for these past few years.” I say it, then process it and now I want tobe sick. I know I have not dated in the past five years, but I definitely don’t anticipate that Jett did the same thing. I had Stevie to keep me preoccupied, Jett had a girl walk out on him that he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to find.
Ugh, I can’t be angry about it, I made the decision to leave in the morning but I don’t have to love the thought of him with other girls either.
Jett gives me a light chuckle and takes the pan off the hot eye. “I would call it more studying. There’s a lot of good information in those books.”
Wait, what? “Books? You read books?”
“Yeah, of course. You talked about them in Nashville, granted you didn’t specify much exactly other than… I believe it was bikers, firefighters, and cowboys? I started with those.” He shrugs. “You read some dirty books, babe. Very informative.” He winks at me as he scoops some eggs onto a plate.
“You read books because I talked about them?”
“I read books because you mentioned them, Wy.” He hands me the plate and leads me to the table when I awkwardly stand there unsure of what to do next.
He read books because I mentioned them? Does that mean he read them with only the idea of me in mind? Surely this man hasn’t not dated someone in five years… I mean, look at him.
I want to ask him about it, but is it even my place to ask? We’re in this weird together-but-not-together friends-only limbo. I chew on the inside of my cheek instead of my food which does not go unnoticed by Jett.
“Alright, what’s going on up there?”
I try to shake this funky feeling off. “Nothing, sorry.”
Jett doesn’t believe me for even a single second. “You’re overthinking. I can see it. So, come on, tell me what’s going on.”
I bite on my cheek again. “It’s just… I mean, it’s been five years.”
Jett chuckles. “I’m aware. And?”
“I know you said you read the books for me, and I know you said you’ve been to Nashville looking for me, but…” Ugh I want to crawl out of my skin. Why do I even care about this?
“But?” Jett looks at me with furrowed eyes for a moment but then pieces it together. “You want to know if I practiced being a book boyfriend with someone else.”
I hide my face in my hands. “It’s silly, I know. I mean of course you’ve dated in the five years since I walked away.”
“Wy,” Jett’s voice is soft and sweet. He pulls my hands down and takes them in his. “I can’t say I haven’t slept with someone since that night, but I’ve neverdated.”
“Oh, so one-night stands are your thing?” I half laugh at the irony.
“No, smartass. I think I’ve made it very clear thatyouare my thing.” He sighs and tucks some of my hair behind my ear. “There was one girl, it only happened twice.”
There’s that queasy feeling again. I try to look down and focus back on the food that he made me. “You don’t have to explain yourself. I was being—”
Jett cups my face and brings me back to meet his eyes. “Wyla, I can assure you that she meant nothing to me, and I meant nothing to her. We both used each other because the person we really wanted wasn’t there. I was afraid I’d never find you, and for a moment it felt like filling a void because she didn’t want anything from me either.
“But, listen to me, Wy…” His hands leave my face and pull my chair closer. “That ended because I knew no matter how much time had passed or how long I would have to wait, I only wanted to be with you. There have been no second thoughts or doubts about it.”
My heart is beating out of my chest. “But, Jett, you didn’t know if you would find me.”
“That’s true, but it didn’t matter. No one was ever going to be you.”
Don’t worry about picking up dinner tonight. Just head home when you’re done.
Why?
Because I said so.
Oh, shit. I really am a parent now.
