Page 57 of Despite It All
I sigh, and walk out the room.
With the click of the door, I feel like I’ve made a huge mistake.
Chapter 16
She blames herself. I knew she did to some extent, but it seems like she’s been punishing herself for it too.
Her tears fall slowly down her cheeks. “Wyla, baby, don’t do that.” I step closer and this time she doesn’t retreat back so I take the opportunity to gently wipe away the tears. “Don’t put all of this on you. I knew I wanted more of you but I let you go on thinking it was a one-night thing.”
“Don’t try to make me feel better.” She sniffles and takes a deep breath. “Ugh, I didn’t mean to break down like this.” She glances behind me at an older couple staring as they walk past. She gives them a fake smile and waves so they keep moving.
“Come here, baby.” I pull her back to the bench. She’s hesitant but sits beside me. She’s stopped crying but I know she doesn’t feel any better. “You’ve said how you feel, so now it’s my turn.”
Her eyes look off to the side at nothing. I tilt her chin back to me, she’s going to look at me when I tell her this. “Wyla, I’ve been to Nashville countless times over the past five years looking for you. My flight back to Seattle isn’t actually until Monday night. The flight I have Sunday is headed to Nashville because I planned to spend the day there… looking for you.”
Her lip trembles. “What… why?”
“Because you’re it for me, Wy. You always have been. Call me crazy, but one night with you was enough to make me realize I don’t want anyone else. I don’t give a fuck about missing the past five years as long as I have you back in my life. I know you're scared and holding on to this guilt but you’ve got to let it go.”
I tuck a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. Her hazel eyes are glossy as tears fill them but she doesn’t let them fall. “But I think I’ve been going about this the wrong way,” I say.
Wyla swallows down her emotions but her voice still cracks, “How?”
“I’ve been pushing you too much. I’ve spent the past five years thinking about you and what I would do when I found you. While I’d like to think you’ve thought of me some, your life has been dedicated to our daughter, who is amazing, but a bit of a handful.”
Wyla chuckles, and I just barely see those dimples on her cheeks.
“Let’s be friends first. Co-parents, yes, but actually be friends. No pressure to form any relationship,no avoiding me,no more doing everything by yourself…” She rolls her eyes and that dimpled smile is getting closer but not all the way there yet. “And no more kissing until you ask.”
Wyla swallows hard. “What if I ask?”
“Wyla, I’m good to be in your friend zone for as long as it takes but…” I pull her closer by her knees. “When you ask me to kiss you again, I’ll never stop. It will be me and you, Wy. No going back.”
“What if I never ask?”
“Then, I guess we’ll just be best friends forever, and I’ll be really acquainted with my hand.”
Wyla lets her full scrunched nose, dimple smile take over her face. “You do have good hands.”
Chapter 17
My alarm goes off around five-thirty. I reluctantly get out of bed and head to the barely functioning gym for an hour workout.
We’re on day three of our friends-only deal and it's going well. Monday, Stevie had her tumbling class then we took her to the small diner in town after with Wyla’s parents. I’m no longer getting the cold shoulder from her dad, which I’m thankful for, but we still have a ways to go. Tuesday, I helped Wyla cook dinner then played some card games with Stevie. Who by the way is a bit of a sore loser. I’ll have to work on that with her because as it turns out, she gets it from her mom.
I don’t know how long it will take to do a complete course correction but I do get to spend the whole day with her. At the diner on Monday, Mrs. Bennett asked if shecould have Wednesday off to help tend to the flowers at the walking track, to which I quickly volunteered to cover.
Wyla asked if I could come to their place around eight and she would bring home some take out for dinner. My meal plan has been completely shot to death these two weeks but I don’t care, I’ll take the extra workouts instead.
After I spend about an hour and a half at the gym, I swing by Anna’s for a shower.
“Good morning,” Anna sings when I walk in the door. She’s sitting at her dinner table sipping on some tea with a nearly clean plate of scrambled eggs in front of her. “I got a little carried away with the eggs this morning, so I put the extras in a container in the fridge if you want to heat it up.”
I hang my keys on the hooks by the door. “Yeah, that sounds good. I’m probably going to take a quick shower first.”
Anna takes her last bite. “Good, because there’s no way you could win Wyla over smelling like that.”
“Shouldn’t you be headed to work or something?”
