Page 33 of Despite It All
Mrs. Bennett laughs. “I think I’d judge you if you did. Don’t worry, every dad’s first time putting in a car seat involves at least two curse words. You’ll get the hang of it after that.”
Five minutes—and yes, two curse words—later, I’ve got the seat secured and Stevie strapped in. Mrs. Bennett shows me the proper way to have her straps, gives me the spare key, and we’re on our way.
“Where are we going, Daddy?” Stevie asks.
“Back to your house, thought you might like to play with your toys.”
Stevie hums, clearly thinking out her next words. “Or we could go to the store and get a new toy. We’ve never gone toy shopping together, Daddy.”
I chuckle. She’s good. “I suppose you're right. We can go, but we have to get your mom something too.”
“Yay!” Stevie puts her little fists in the air.
My heart clenches in my chest. How the fuck am I supposed to make it being on the opposite side of the country from her?
Once we’re in the store, Stevie takes the lead for the toy section. I decide to grab a cart and pick up some stuff for one of the few recipes of my mom’s that I know by heart. Is it chicken alfredo? Yes. But hey, it’s something that’s not on a professional athlete’s meal plan.
Stevie races up and down each aisle twice before finally deciding on a Barbie dressed up as a vet and has a little toy dog with it.
“It’s like Mommy.” She beams at it. “Mommy takes care of animals. I don’t think she’s the doctor, though. Mommy said she’s like the nurses I see when I go to the doctor.”
“Yeah, but she’s still very important to both the doctor and the animal, don’t ya think?”
Stevie stares at the Barbie again. “Yeah, I think so. Can I sit in the buggy now?”
“Yeah, here.” I lift her in and ignore the small strain in my shoulder. “I thought we could get some stuff to make dinner tonight, and we need to get your mom something too, remember?”
“Let’s get her roses! Mommy loves roses, just like me. So does Mamaw. I think that’s why they named me Rose too.”
I smile down at her. “You know, my mom’s name is also Rose. So, you’ve got a bunch of family who love roses.”
Stevie studies me for a moment, processing the idea of more family. For a moment, I think she’s going to ask questions but then she doesn’t. I’m sure the idea of getting a dad sent her for a loop, let alone adding a new aunt and new grandparents to the mix.
We swing through the food section first and I put all of the ingredients we need on the opposite side of the cart so Stevie isn’t cramped.
On our way to check out, we pass by the flower display. I reach for a bouquet of red roses but Stevie stops me immediately. “Daddy, we have to get Mommy the orange roses. They don’t always have them, but orange is Mommy’s favorite color. We have to get those.”
“Good call, Little Bee, orange roses it is. Do you like this one?” I pull one of the bouquets out and get the final approval from the boss.
“Yes, those are good.” Stevie nods.
After checking out and loading everything into the car, we head for Wyla’s house. Stevie’s relatively quiet on the drive over. Part of me fears that she’s not comfortable with it just being us without Wyla. And then it really hits me, I have no fucking clue what I’m doing or how to be a father.
What if I screw something up? What if something happens to her and I freeze? What if she…
“Hey, Daddy, thank you for my Barbie. I really love it. I’m happy you’re here now,” Stevie says from the backseat, and it’s as if the sincerity in her little voice lifts a little bit of the weight off my chest.
“You’re welcome, Stevie. I’m happy I’m here too. Thank you for helping me get the right flowers for your mom.”
“She’s going to be so happy. She loves when the orange roses are in the store. I love the pink flowers. Pink is my favorite color.”
I chuckle, thinking of the all pink living room we are about to walk into. “You don’t say.” I pull in the driveway and get everything inside.
Stevie runs over to Poppy in her kennel and lets her out. “Hi, Poppy. Are you so happywe’re home?” The giant German Shepherd responds by licking Stevie’s face happily, and Stevie falls back in a fit of laughter.
How the fuck am I supposed to make it being on the opposite side of the country from her?
We let Poppy out in the backyard, and Stevie assures me that she won’t run away. “Why would she run away, Daddy? She likes living with me and mommy.”
