Page 153 of A Winding Wave of Magic
Caitlin sighed. “Likely a few more than this one. It will make up for the years of ignorance forced upon you. The truth is, you could live forever, Cassandra, or close to it. If you choose wisely.”
At first, I thought I hadn’t heard her correctly, if at all. The words seemed rushed, for all her effort to speak slowly and carefully.
“That’s impossible,” I blurted out. “Look at me. I got my first gray hairs last year, and I can’t swim butterfly anymore because of my shoulder. I can’t pull all-nighters either, and the last time I drank, I had a hangover for days. These are small changes, but I’m definitely getting older.”
Caitlin watched me with obvious pity that only infuriated me more. “Of course, you are. But fae age a bit differently than plain folk. Once your body finishes growing, it takes another fifteen or so years for your mind and your power to catch up. Most children identify at age six and begin to learn their craft at twelve or thirteen. Bronagh will go off to school next year; the twins will apprentice at thirteen as well. Eight to ten years, and then they’ll be sent off to live their lives. But none of them will manifest until thirty-three, when their potential is realized. The body ages normally until your magic is fully grown. Then, it stops.”
I pressed my fingers to my temples, massaging the news that I was (or would be) essentially unchanging and immortal upon my thirty-third birthday.
“Then why doesn’t my mother look thirty-three?” I asked. “Why didn’t Gran? Why don’tyou? And how does that explain how you could have possibly been childhood friends?”
“Funny you should ask. What do you think all of us have in common?”
At the bottom of the couch, a shoe poked out from the dust ruffle next to Caitlin’s foot. A battered leather bootie that would probably fit a toddler. It might have been passed down between Bronagh and the twins, but when I picked it up, I was instantly seized with an image of a woman with blazing red hair and pursed lips holding the shoe. My heart gave a loud thump when I recognized Gran walking the shoe to a tiny red-haired girl who giggled with delight, one foot shoeless and her curly mop trailing behind her as she circled the kitchen table. Sybil.
I looked up, and the vision disappeared. “Children. You’ve all had children.”
Caitlin nodded. “That’s it. You can’t live forever if you’ve made someone to replace you. It’s the way with all living things. There’s something in our magic that keeps us in prime condition until we procreate, and then we’re like the grasses. We go to seed. And eventually, we die.”
“Does your power fade along with your body?” I thought of Caleb Lynch’s frail, almost ethereal form. His vise-grip around my mind didn’t match the frailty of his physical body.
“What you lack in brute strength, you make up for in experience and wisdom. But unless the mind succumbs as well, no, generally, they don’t. We only become pawns to our bodies, don’t we?”
“So…it starts when you have children,” I said. “And is it the same for men?”
Caitlin nodded. “Don’t ask me how the magic knows the man’s had a child when the babe arrives halfway around the world, but it does. It’s how your grandfather likely knew he wasgoing to die, for Penny never told him she was pregnant.” She snorted. “Served him right, I’d say. Devil he was, seducing a seer. Like playing chicken with a freight train.”
She noted my confused expression and chuckled. “What I mean is, and you should know this…none of the pills or rubbers and such work when it comes to the fae. At least, not well.”
“Well, that’s not true,” I pointed out. “My best friend is a seer, and she was sleeping with a shifter for the better part of last year. I happen to know they were doing it like rabbits…especially since he actually shifts into a rabbit every day.”
“And were they in love?” Caitlin asked.
I snorted. “Definitely not. Reina knew from the beginning it wasn’t going to work.”
Caitlin gave me a look that said I should have already understood the difference.
“But…Jonathan and I aren’t in love either.”
Something about that statement felt like a lie, though I couldn’t quite place it. We hadn’t known each other very long and had spent even less time in each other’s company. Our connection was strong, yes, but love? No.
“Mmm.” Caitlin folded her hands together. “The only thing that sometimes works is magic, and it has to be more powerful magic than your partner’s. And you’ve got to maintain control…er…throughout. Penny was incredibly strong, but Ciarán was amurúchand their connection was…stronger. And he wanted her. More than he wanted anything else. Perhaps he thought that a proper mage might allow him to let go. Only problem was, Penny was in love with him too, and she couldn’t control herself any more than he could.”
“And my mother?” I asked, though I already knew the answer.
“Was only seventeen when you were conceived,” Caitlin confirmed. “And so never manifested. And therefore, could never be Penny’s heir.”
Guilt washed over me. I’d always known my mother was a defective seer, but the truth was more complicated. For my father—for me—she had sacrificed not just immortality, but her power and place in the world.
Why hadn’t anyone told me?
“Because she didn’t know,” Caitlin supplied. “And still doesn’t. Just one more way we’re breaking the rules with you.”
“But I’ve slept with men.” I couldn’t stop arguing. “Not millions, but I’ve never gotten pregnant. Birth control worked just fine. Condoms, pills. I had an IUD.”
“They were plain?”
I nodded.
