Page 151 of A Winding Wave of Magic
“I want to touch you so I know what’s going on in that head of yours and you can See exactly what’s happening in mine,” he snapped. “Because there’s obviously more than this bloody nonsense. We talked about this yesterday. It shouldn’t surprise you that I’m leaving.”
It shouldn’t have. And yet it did. Something about it feltwrong, but I was too embarrassed to admit it. Why I should feel this way, this strongly about someone I still barely knew but for a few traumatic moments and even fewer drunken kisses made no sense.
But that was how I felt.
And I didn’t know how to deal with it.
As I darted into the kitchen, Gran’s form danced around me, making the ache that never seemed to leave throb that much harder.
I was alone. Or would be for at least a week. Without people. Without friends. And without this man, with whom I shared such an oddly intense connection, who was leaving without so much as a backward glance.
They say when pressed into a corner, people turn to fight or flight. My instinct was the latter.
“Stay away from me!” I snapped as Jonathan chased me around the kitchen island and back into the living room.
“Fucking hell, Cassandra, I saidcome here!”
Just as I was about to dodge around an armchair, he snagged one of my wrists and yanked me back toward him with a quick spin. Then, grasping both of my shoulders, he landed a hard stamp of a kiss on my mouth. One that shut us both up for nearly a minute.
“Satisfied?” he hissed, his warm breath mingling with mine.
My mind had quieted again, but my insides boiled. “Not in the fucking slightest.”
“Listen to me, you stubborn girl.” His grip on my shoulders was so firm I was sure they would bruise. “Can’t you See what I’m thinking? What I’m feeling foryou?”
Unfortunately, I could. He was undeniably frustrated, but it was only because he was scared for me and desperately wanted me safe. He had been lying on the beach when he said he had better things to do than stay here. We’d both known it, of course, but it had still hurt. However, it was only because he thought alienating me would be easier than the truth—that he cared deeply, and that, to his confusion, it was going against every instinct he had to leave me here.
But my best bet wasn’t him. It was with learning what my own abilities would provide. I understood that, and I could See it in his thoughts, but this newfound position and duty still didn’t quite make sense to me. I wasn’t special. I was simply an unmanifested scholar who just wanted to get through this ordeal unscathed. The shadow of Caleb Lynch rose in the back of my mind, and both Jonathan and I shuddered. I had nothing in me that could ward off such a monster.
“Can you See too?” I whispered.
Solemnly, he nodded. “I See your fear. But also your bravery. I won’t let him near you, I promise.”
“How can you promise that if you aren’t here?”
“Because that’s where I’m going. He’s on the run—missing since February, and I won’t stop until I find him.” Sincerity vibrated through his touch, his thoughts, his every emotion. Papers, classes, experiments—they could all hang.
I mattered to him, deeply.
Jonathan’s grip loosened, and I allowed him to wrap me tightly in his arms, pressing my nose to his collar to inhale his clean musk.
“You are more important to me than you could possibly know,” he muttered fiercely in my ear. “We’ll help you find it—all of us.” He held me back out so he could look into my face. “But you know the truth, Cass. You and I…we want something we can’t have. Not right now. I’m sorry.”
But why? I didn’t say it out loud. Perhaps I was too scared to know the answer.
When I pulled back, Jonathan’s eyes dropped to my mouth.
One last kiss…
His desire spoke through his touch as if through a megaphone.
Please, I begged, knowing he would hear my unspoken request.
Please what, I didn’t know. Kiss me? Stay with me?
Love me?
I pushed away the thought as he bent closer, pulled by the magnet between us. His mouth brushed mine, and I sighed with relief.
