Page 86 of Boyfriend of the Hour
I bit my lip but took it gratefully. He really was too good for me.
“That was…habit, I guess,” I said. “It’s what he expected to hear, and when it comes to him, it’s easier just to give him what he expects sometimes. He never liked it when I called him my boyfriend, but he didn’tnotlike it either. You know?”
“No, I don’t know.” He frowned. “So, he’s your boyfriend that you’re not involved with? Or you are, and he isn’t? I don’t understand.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” I mumbled, staring at the silky foam atop my cup. Nathan had made the shape of a leaf with it.
“I just want the truth. Whatever it is.”
I took a long drink of my coffee. It was perfect. Just like him. And verynotlike me.
“You want the truth?” I sighed. “The truth is, I’m a mess. But you already knew that.”
Nathan only blinked. Waited in his patient way. The one where I couldn’t exactly tell what he was thinking, but somehow, I knew he wasn’t judging me.
I wasn’t sure how that was possible.
“Shawn isn’t my boyfriend.”
“But you said he was.”
I sighed. “He—I guess he always sort of is, but only because he won’t let me break up with him completely. I hadn’t seen him in more than four months, but that’s not unusual. I was hoping he wouldn’t show up this time, but I’m not that lucky. He’s just a bad penny. Areallybad penny.”
Nathan sat back into the couch. “Explain.”
I pulled the blanket up to my chest, wondering how in the hell I could put the tale of Shawn Vamos together. It wasn’t a story I’d ever told to completion. Rochelle knew a little, considering she was there when we met. Marie figured out bits and pieces when he picked me up from school once, but she never pressed me for more than I wanted to share. The rest of my siblings, or even Nonna, were completely oblivious to his existence.
Because that’s the way he wanted it. Said our relationship was just for us.
And like a fool, I’d believed him.
“We met about ten years ago. No, wait, almost eleven. Jeez, I’m getting old.”
Nathan gave me the same look I sometimes got from my older sisters when I made similar comments.
I chuckled. “Okay, maybe not. Anyway, he saw me dancing once. I was in this troupe that did a performance at a mall in New Jersey. Kind of lame, I know, but I was the lead soloist. Shawn was there and came up to me afterward. And he was nice.Hot, for an older guy. Well, to me, he was older. Twenty-two at the time, I think. Maybe twenty-three. I thought he looked like one of the guys from One Direction.”
I could imagine it like it had happened yesterday. Shawn was a boy band lookalike with arms covered in tattoos, holding a bag from the Gucci store in one hand while the other was wrapped around a gorgeous-looking blond girl. I was waiting in line to be shuttled back to the bus with the rest of the girls in my troupe. Even now, I remembered seeing that hand on the woman’s waist and wondering when I’d ever find a boy who would touch me like that. I’d never even had a boyfriend. Had gotten my braces off maybe two months earlier.
Shawn had sent the woman on her way and beckoned me over to talk to him. As if in a trance, I’d followed. We spoke just long enough for me to tell him my name and where we were from before my teacher had called me back.
He’d smiled with blue eyes the color of the ocean and said goodbye.
I expected…well, I don’t know what I expected to see on Nathan’s face as I described it. Disgust? Horror? If he and I went on a date, no one would blink an eye at the age difference between us. There weren’t even ten between Shawn and me, but when the younger person is only thirteen and the other one is in his twenties, people are going to talk. And judge. A lot.
I certainly would.
Nathan, however, didn’t change his expression. He just sipped his coffee and listened.
“It wasn’t anything. Just a chat. But then he started coming to the studio every now and then. Happened to run into me on the street. Said hello. Kept coming back.” I shrugged. “It was all harmless. And I guess I developed kind of a crush.”
It was so odd to remember. I was at that weird age where my body looked almost like an adult’s, but my brain was more likea child’s. All my siblings were growing up, and I was sure I was right there with them, so when this nice older guy that looked kind of like Zayn Malik was paying me all sorts of attention and compliments and talking to me like an adult, I thought that proved my point. It was innocent. And it felt good.
So I never thought anything of it when he started bringing me presents too. Little things, like a flower from the bodega. A cheap necklace from Forever 21. Nothing big. Nothing crazy. Just things he said made him think of me.
No one had ever done that for me. Half the time, even my Christmas gifts were hand-me-downs originally bought with someone else in mind.
So, yeah. I developed a crush. A big one.
