Page 203 of Boyfriend of the Hour
“But he obviously loves you,” Lea continued. “And if we’re being real, I think you could use a bit of stiffness in your life. And maybe he needs someone like you to loosen him up too.”
I didn’t reply, but didn’t argue either. Because she was right. Nathan and I were polar opposites, but somehow it worked. Notin a condescending sort of way. But more like scales where the weights were finally balanced.
That’s how I felt around him. Even. Balanced. At ease.
“Why didn’t you tell us about the surgery?”
I sighed. “I don’t know. It happened kind of quickly. And things have been…weird.”
“Not so weird that I’m not still your sister.”
“You don’t act like my sister, though, Le. You act like the mom we never had. I understand why—it was shoved on you way too young. But you don’t need to be that for me anymore. Not even then.”
“Well, if I was, I wasn’t doing a very good job.” Her green eyes, identical to mine, bore into me. “That tape.”
I flushed and looked away. “I don’t want to hear it.”
“I’m not going to hate on you about it. I just want to say I’m sorry.”
I turned back at her. “For what?”
Lea shocked me by wiping a tear from her eye. My sister was tough as nails—I’d maybe seen her cry twice in my entire life.
“For failing you,” she said. “I turned it off almost immediately, but not before I…not before I could seeyou, Jo. Your nails were painted in those rainbow colors. Remember? I took you for that manicure myself right before you went to prom with Jimmy Trujillo. You were only sixteen.” By the time she was done, another tear had slipped down her cheek. “I failed you, Jo. I was supposed to be protecting you, and I didn’t do it. I should have known you were wrapped up with someone like that Shawn character. I should have done a better job at keeping you safe.”
By the time she was done, she was almost sobbing. I reached out and pulled her to me, giving her a hug like we hadn’t shared in many years.
“It wasn’t your job,” I said again.
“Then whose was it?” she erupted, practically hopping off me.
“I don’t know. No one’s. Dad’s, except he died when I was one. Or Mom’s, except she was still in jail. Not Nonna and Nonno, who barely had enough energy for all of us. Not Matthew’s, and definitely not yours.” I shrugged. “I guess it was mine, except I was too naive to see what was going on.”
I tipped my head. It was a strange sensation, being cooler in the head than Lea. She was the one who always seemed to have things under control or at least know what to do about them.
“Well, it shouldn’t have been yours. You were just a kid.”
“Maybe not. But that’s what we all had to depend on. Ourselves, in the end. At least until we learn to depend on each other like adults instead of children. Like equals.”
We both sat with that for a minute; the silence interrupted only by the occasional sniffle from Lea.
“When did you get so smart?” she joked when her eyes had finally dried.
I glanced toward the hall where Nathan stood. He gave me that brief half-smile I knew was reserved just for me. “I think maybe I was smart the whole time, Le. But I had some help figuring that out too.”
Lea’s own gaze darted between me and Nathan. “I think I can see that.” Then she turned back at me. “I also wanted you to know…that I’m sorry for blaming you for Lis Antoni calling Mike. That wasn’t your fault either. I mean”—she tipped her head in that know-it-all way I had a feeling Lea would never really shake—“youdefinitelyshouldn’t have been working at an illegal gambling club. But…I understand why you were there. And it’s not your fault that you’re so damn cute a gangster would fall in love with you.”
I sighed. “Trust me, I won’t be going back. It’s just not worth it.”
“Good.”
But she still looked uneasy. Still looked like something was bothering her.
“Lea,” I said. “What is it?”
She swallowed, and her green eyes had a hard time meeting mine. “It’s nothing.”
“That’s obviously not true. Just tell me.”
