I couldn’t stop staring. “I killed him.”
“Actually, I thinkIkilled him,” Nathan corrected me. “I broke his neck.” His tone as dry and unfeeling as I had ever heard it.
I, on the other hand, was a mess. “B-but I stabbed him.”
My hands were clammy. My body shaking. I couldn’t speak as I took in the scene, the facts of what we had just done coming back to me in shards.
My God. Was he—had he—that snap—itechoed.
Carrick crouched next to Shawn’s body, then looked up at Nathan. “Well, doc? You want to call it?”
Nathan sighed, squeezed my hand, and then released me so he could join his brother. I watched as he felt for Shawn’s pulse in several places.
“He’s dead,” he said. “It’s done.” He stood up. “What’s that look?”
I blinked. “What?”
“That look. I haven’t seen it before. You’re upset, but I’m not sure why.”
“Upset. Yeah.” I was numb. My lips barely worked as I stared at Shawn’s body, lifeless on the floor.
“Why?” Nathan demanded, framing my face with his hands, “Don’t feel bad for that piece of shit, Joni. He deserved it. He hurt you and who knows how many other people. So, why are you upset about him?”
“Because we just k-killed a man, and I know he wasn’t—but we still—” The words stumbled, like water tripping over rocks. I was shaking now. I couldn’t seem to stop.
“She’s going into shock,” Carrick said behind me. “We need to get her out of here.”
Nathan yanked me into his chest, wrapping me with his big arms, cocooning me into his warmth like a baby swaddled tight. “I know,” he whispered fiercely as he rocked me back and forth. “I know. But it will be okay. Listen to me.”
“No,” I blubbered. “No, no, no.”
“Yes.” Nathan took my face again, forcing me to look at him. He wasn’t wearing his glasses, but his eyes were deeper, full of that chocolatey warmth that soothed my soul immediately.“Joni.MyGiovanna. You’re okay. You’re safe now. I love you, andI will keep you safe no matter what.”
His big, capable hands stroked my hair, my face, all of me as if to reassure us both that I was whole.
“Are we done with the therapy session?”
Both of us ignored Carrick. I could only see Nathan. And I was pretty sure he could only see me.
“Okay?” he asked, his voice low enough that only I could hear.
I blinked. And blinked again. And slowly came back to myself.
“Oh—okay,” I said. “I’m ready.”
“Good, because I’m guessing we have about two more minutes before they come down here looking for us,” Carrick said. “We found you, now we’re leaving. There’s a deck off the back that we can jump off if we’re quick. And a team of divers below waiting with oxygen.”
“H-how did you know where I was?” I asked as we followed Carrick back into the hall.
Nathan kept my hand locked in his. I wasn’t going anywhere without him.
“Carrick was invited,” he told me. He shot a look over my head that told me exactly what he thought of the fact that hisbrotherwas being invited to things like this.
“W-why?” I asked Carrick. “Don’t they know who you are?”
“You’re not the only one who uses an alias when it fits,Gigi,” he replied. “I find that blending into…less than reputable spaces is good for business. Gives me leverage when I need it.”
I didn’t even want to think about what that meant. Or what he would be using that leverage for.