He practically growled that one. I wasn’t sure if that was a response to me or maybeher. Lindsay. Something he’d seen long ago.
“But,” he finished, “the idea that I could ever put limits on what she wants to do, stifle her in any way…no. No, that’s not something I’d ever want to do.”
“Is that how you felt abouther?” The question toppled out of my mouth before I could stop it.
Nathan turned sharply and stilled. “Who?”
I peeked up at him. “Your real fiancée. Or maybe Lindsay. And…Isla.”
Nathan braced his arms over his knees but folded his hands together hard enough that his fingertips turned white. “Carrick.” He spat the name.
“He said…Lindsay was like me. That you fell in love with her in college, and she took advantage of you and wanted you to help her and her kid. And that she died in a fire, and I’m basically just your second chance at the same thing.” I said the words quickly. They tasted bitter on my tongue. “That I’m a pathetic version of the real thing. Redemption.”
My fake boyfriend was quiet for a long time. Averylong time. Long enough that I wondered if he was going to speak again.
When he did, though, it wasn’t at all what I thought he would say.
“You arenothinglike Lindsay Frazier.”
I bit my lip. Frazier. Her last name made her seem more real, somehow. “But Carrick said?—”
“Carrick was twenty years old and more interested in frat parties and binge drinking at than my life during college,” Nathan interrupted. “He has no real understanding of what happened between me and Lindsay. He didn’t even know about her until I asked him to come to her funeral.”
“So…what did happen, then?”
At that, Nathan sighed and removed his glasses to rub the spot between his brows. Oof. If he was taking them off, it must be really bad.
“I have a story for you too,” he said. “You’re not the only one with secrets.”
TWENTY-NINE
MOST IMPORTANT THINGS TO NATHAN HUNT
#1 Isla
“Some of it is true,” Nathan said after we had scooted back to lean against a mirror, side by side under the barre. He stretched out his long legs, big feet flopping to the side. “She was a dancer like you, yes. And I did meet her in the strip club where she worked.” He looked adorably bashful. “Some of the players on the baseball team took me when I turned twenty-one.”
“Carrick told me that part,” I said. “And no judgment, really, if that’s your thing.”
I received a sidelong glance. “It’s not.”
I chose not to fight him on that. I found I liked him better for it. “So, what, you fell in love?”
Nathan immediately shook his head. “Definitely not. I…” Almost unconsciously, he picked up my hand and started tracing his thumb over my knuckles while he spoke. “I wasn’t very good with girls. With women. I’m still not.”
“I don’t know about that.”
For that, I only received another very dry look that made me giggle. Nathan cracked a smile, which made me laugh harder.
“Maybe there is some truth to Carrick’s version,” Nathan admitted. “But I don’t know if Lindsay knew I had money when we first met. I doubt it. I would have just looked like another college student.”
I sincerely doubted that, but didn’t say it. Even in casual clothes, Nathan carried himself with the confidence and poise that I suspected only came from the highest levels of breeding. A quiet pedigree, but a pedigree, nonetheless.
“I think she liked that I was the only person in our party who didn’t order a lap dance,” he went on. “When my teammates bought me time with her in a private room, we just talked. She didn’t seem to mind that I wasn’t outgoing or that I was content to let her speak. When she asked at the end of the time if I would be interested in a date, I said yes.”
“You didn’t care that she was a stripper?”
“It’s a job,” he replied with a shrug. “As long as she was happy and treated well, why should it matter? Although, to be fair, when I turned twenty-one, I still hadn’t had intercourse with anyone yet, and I really wanted to.”