Page 85 of Cruel Russian Pakhan
Then she took my hand, threading her fingers through mine, and placed it gently on her belly. I felt the soft curve beneath my palm.
“Our baby is my family.”
She closed her eyes, inhaled deeply, then opened them again, shimmering with unshed tears. “I love you, Lev Safin. I know we haven’t really talked about what our future holds or how this marriage will really work, because of everything that’s happened. But this…this is my home. I am happy here.”
I wanted to speak, to tell her to stop before I fell apart, but I couldn’t. My throat had closed, and my heart was pounding wildly in my chest.
“My sisters know the risk,” she continued, her voice steadier now. “And I love them even more for taking it. And you…” she smiled faintly, a bittersweet curve of her lips, “you’re risking everything for them, for me, and for that, I’m grateful.”
Then, her expression shifted, softened with fear. She let go of my face, her hand falling to her lap as her shoulders drew inward, like she was bracing for impact.
“But…if you really want me to go, I will.”
And fuck, that shattered me.
She looked at me like she was preparing to be torn apart by my answer. And I realized that for all her strength, all her fire, Katya was trusting me with the most vulnerable parts of herself. That kind of trust? It was sacred.
I exhaled sharply, emotion ripping through me as I cupped her cheek this time, tilting her face toward mine.
“If I really want you here?” I gave a hollow laugh and shook my head. “Fuck, beautiful…I’ve never wanted anything more than you, here, being my wife, naked in my bed.”
Her lips parted, breath catching, but I kept going. The truth had been clawing at my chest for weeks, and now it tore free.
“I love you, Katya. You’re the first woman I’ve ever truly loved. And because of that, it took me longer to even recognize what I was feeling. But I want you here. No, scratch that, I need you here.”
I slipped my hand from her cheek to her belly again and held it there.
“I want to make more babies with you, if that’s what you want. I want to know your dreams—if you want to study, work, stay home, whatever. I want us to start building something, Katya. Planning our future together. Not just surviving, living.”
Her eyes welled up again, but this time it wasn’t fear or sorrow. It was hope.
“I’d like that too,” she whispered.
And just like that, the ache in my chest eased. Because now I knew we weren’t just a married couple bound bycircumstance. We had become something deeper. We were two people in love, choosing each other every day. And in that moment, I vowed to give Katya everything beautiful this world had to offer.
Epilogue - Katya
Kira pulled back from our hug and stared at my belly.
“Katya! You're huge! Didn't we just see you, like, two weeks ago?”
Vera swatted her playfully. “That’s rude, Kira,” she scolded, then pulled me into a hug of her own. Once she released me, she helped me settle onto the sofa, adjusting the pillows behind my back and lifting my slightly swollen legs to place pillows under those as well.
“Maybe she wants to tell us she's having twins in her own time,” Vera added, settling at my feet. “You can’t just tell pregnant women they’re huge.”
I laughed and tossed a pillow at her. She caught it easily, laughing.
“Hey! There’s only one baby in here. But, being six months pregnant feels like six years. I'm ready for this baby to see the world!”
Vera and Kira laughed.
“Do you know if it’s a boy or girl yet?” Kira asked, settling into the armchair beside my head.
I shook my head. “We’ve decided to wait until he or she is born, Auntie Kira.”
“But that’s no fun,” she pouted.
“How are you feeling, though?” Vera asked, gently taking one of my feet into her lap and beginning to massage it.
