Page 64 of Alice Carver Manifests Her Perfect Life
I waited for Matthew to call me out on the fact that this was all more than a decade ago and he didn’t remember any of it. But he just nodded once, then leant back on the counter and folded his arms. ‘Okay. So what else did you hear?’
‘Nothing,’ I lied.
‘I wasn’t telling Ollie why I found you unappealing. I was telling him why he shouldn’t hit on you.’
‘Same difference,’ I said, ignoring the way his biceps flexed.
‘It’s not,’ said Matthew. ‘If you actually think about it.’
Was that another insult about my intelligence?
‘And if I remember correctly,’ he continued, ‘that was on the same evening you kept telling other people that my presence was a classic example of one of your parents’ pet-charity projects, rather like the lame incontinent donkey your dad rescued, that you’d all lived to regret.’
‘I don’t remember that,’ I said. I remembered it perfectly well. And it wasn’t ‘people’, it was only Monotonous Margot because she was standing near enough to Matthew that I knew he’d overhear. And it was right after I’d heard Ollie say to Matthew,Come on, mate, be fair, Alice is fit as fuck, and I reckon she’s giving me the eye, and Matthew had shrugged and said,Yeah. She gives everyone the eye. Don’t go there. You should go for Astrid. Seriously, Ollie. If you make a move, I’ll lose all respect.It had stung so much, I still rememberit now. Plus Monotonous Margot had ruined my efforts to pay Matthew back by saying she’d take him as a pet project in a heartbeat and then she’d droned on for ages as usual. Actually, on reflection I might have also slagged Matthew off to Crispin, but he’s always doing charity work, so another bad choice.
And German Gunther, but he didn’t even have a British passport so it hardly counted.
‘Well, I remember it,’ said Matthew shortly.
‘I was drunk. People say things when they’re drunk that they don’t mean. All the time.’
‘Then I must have been drunk too.’
‘No, you weren’t, because you were driving really early next morning to see your granny. So stop lying.’
Matthew gave me a curious look. ‘You remember that, and you don’t remember what you said about me?’
‘I remember that you were right. I have turned out unsuccessful. But I’d rather be unsuccessful than end up like you.’
‘How have I ended up?’
‘Rich and prejudiced.’
‘I’m not prejudiced.’ Matthew frowned. ‘You’re the one who judges others instantly. You even give people adjectives – you literally label them.’
I needed to overlook the criticism (accurate if I’m fair) in favour of finding a way to win this argument. ‘Yes, but you are rich and privileged.’
‘Says Alice Carver.’
‘Fine. I’m privileged too. ButIam female.’
‘Clutching at straws here, Alice.’
‘No I’m not!’ I said. ‘Because, actually, if you think aboutit, manifesting is predominantly a female market. And maybe, Matthew Lloyd, that is your problem. Maybeyouare a misogynist.’
Matthew stared at me for a moment, and then said, ‘Very good, Alice. Fine. You win. Let’s get on with it.’
‘What?’
‘Manifesting. I’ll join in with you.’
‘No, you won’t.’
‘I kind of have to. Can’t have you besmirching me with accusations of misogyny.’
‘But you think manifesting is bullshit.’
‘I do. But I haven’t tried it, so I’ll give it a go. What do we do? Sounded like I have to address Capricorn directly?’
