Page 61 of Alice Carver Manifests Her Perfect Life
Well, I was wrong about Louise. Really quite wrong. I mean I was right as in it wasn’t fun, but it was me who bailed rather than her. Turns out she was on a mission to get absolutely trashed. I got the impression she’d been drinking before I got there because when I squeezed myself onto the velvet banquette opposite her, even though it was dimly lit, I could clearly tell:
a) there were three empty espresso martini glasses on the table
b) she was wired and slurry and smelt of coffee.
I love getting trashed with the best of them, but being in Soho mid-afternoon with a couple of proper drunks shouting at the bar, and sitting knee to knee with Louise, was a sobering experience. She kept asking me to describe what it felt like waking up in bed alone and calling me alucky bitchand saying things likeof course you probably don’t leak urine whenyoudo that, you jammy cow(about mundane things like walking, or laughing, or chewing, or watching TV) and it freaked me out a bit. And then, after a couple more drinks, she leant forward and held on to my forearm a little bit toogrippily, her eyes frankly a touch wild, and asked me whether I’d consider running her over, just lightly maybe, at fifteen miles per hour, so she could have a week in hospital, or a mild coma, for someme time. And then when I asked if she was okay, she saidjust jokingand laughed too loudly.
She said Annabel and Fizz were coming here for a quick drink and then we were all going to supper at the Pavilion Club because Fizz had just joined, and wasn’t that fab, and with any luck Penelope might make pudding. And as Annabel is totally awful, and I detest Penelope, and there is no way I can afford supper at the Pavilion Club, I had no qualms about inventing an urgent request from Astrid to get back home and let her in because she’d forgotten her key.
‘Do give them my love, won’t you?’ I said. ‘And let them know I can’t wait to see you all at the christening.’ And then just as I was leaving I felt bad and told Louise that Arrie had found it a nightmare when she first had kids and that I may not have them myself, but I did know it was perfectly normal to find it hard and she could call me anytime.
And Louise went all snotty and gaspy and clung on to me and said, ‘It’s killing me. No one said it was this bad. Why didn’t they say? It’s a conspiracy.’
But another espresso martini arrived and she cheered up and I scarpered.
Drunk Stephen messaged saying he was going to a show in town but could meet later for drinks. But having duly considered the state of my finances and the fact it was only six o’clock, I decided that rather than wait around and stay out, I may as well make the most of having Astrid’s house all to myself. Hence being back on the Piccadilly line, heading home,on a Saturday night, at half six. Unheard of but semi-exciting in its novelty.
I’m planning to sort out my visioning board and move Matthew’s face because I’m a little concerned I accidentally manifested him today. Also, given some of the crapness of my day (not that I’m doubting the Universe, I’m simply experiencing understandable feelings of uncertainty), I think I should try some other approaches to manifesting – maybe candle gazing. I’ve just seen a TikTok video where that famous YouTuber says how she manifested a baby through candle gazing. Then I accidentally clicked on a link where a woman from Texas warns about the side effects of candle gazing; apparently she gazed too long and now has permanent retinal damage resulting in everything appearing green.
Hopefully inspiration will strike, and I will feel more assured that I am making progress towards manifesting my perfect life.
Will write again before bed.
My intention is:
To investigate candle gazing without retinal damage.
Guide Post™
Moon Manifesting
Taking your manifestations to the moon can be extremely powerful. The moon and her cycles are nature’s own Guide™ and gifting yourself the time to align yourself with the Moon Goddess can help you to achieve your perfect life.
A new moon provides a particularly powerful time to manifest: it is a time of beginnings, of energy, of potential, and it is all yours to tap into. All new moons are conducive to positive realisations but the most potent new moon of all is January’s Capricorn. This is the ideal time to set intentions and manifest your desires. Use GUIDED MOON MANIFESTING™ to help guide you.
Date: Saturday 14 JanuaryTime: 6.55pm
My thoughts and reflections:
Oh my gosh. Not in bed yet – obviously – I’m still on the tube. But I had to take a second to thank the Universe for, once again, reaching out and helping me. I can’t believe I ever doubtedThe Guide. To literally ask for inspiration, then turn the page and find it there? That’s beyond coincidence.Moon Manifesting. Even writing the words gives me a tingle – it sounds so powerful and significant. And then to google and discover today is the third day of Capricorn’s new moon?! Wow. Again, thank you, Universe! Can’t wait to get home and try this one.
In one word:
Inspired
Date: Monday 16 JanuaryTime: 3.30am
My thoughts and reflections:
It’s late Monday morning, and the last time I wrote in here was only Saturday evening, and yet it was centuries ago. I’m at the BFI café, and it’s noisy and familiar and anonymous and I’ve come here quite a few times because it’s close to work, usually with Drunk Stephen, but this time I’m on my own, so that I can write this. I want this pocket of time to relive the weekend – the crazy, amazing weekend, which already feels like a shining bright fever dream.
Less than an hour after I’d left Louise in Soho, I arrived at Stamford Bridge, and walked back from the tube station along Chiswick’s leafy streets where you could barely tell it was a Saturday night. Even though it was dark with a faint drizzle, and January, I felt a sense of anticipation and excitement. I had manifested living in Astrid’s beyond-beautiful residence; I’d manifested Guy Carmichael finding me attractive and now, just when I’d been feeling low, an opportunity to harness the power of a Capricorn new moon had fallen into my lap.
What if I really could manifest the perfect life?
The walk home hadn’t yet afforded me a glimpse of this new Capricorn moon, but it was barely seven o’clock. I let myself into Astrid and Aziz’s house and luxuriated in its emptiness: for one evening it was all mine. If I felt like that, borrowing a house, imagine what it must feel like to actuallyownsomewhere like this – somewhere with an entrance hall the size of a bedroom, elegant period features like high ceilings and wooden bannisters, and slick modern conveniences like underfloor heating. I went upstairs, changed into my Lululemon dupe tracksuit bottoms (thank you, TikTok) and Astrid’s Nike hoody, and piled my hair up. As I padded through to the kitchen to make a sandwich, my thick socks sliding satisfyingly on the polished oak floors, I peered up out of the skylight, but all I could see was darkness. Never mind – still plenty of night left for some moon-spotting. I put some music on and was halfway through an incredible sandwich I’d compiled when I heard the unmistakable sound of rain clattering against the glass ceiling. Hmmm. I finished my sandwich slowly, hoping the rain would abate, but it didn’t: moon manifesting in Astrid’s back garden was rapidly becoming less appealing.
Although, I reminded myself, every obstacle is an opportunity… I decided to go the Wordsworth / warm bath route (no incest obviously) and moon-manifest from the comfort of indoors. I checkedThe Guideagain and had a hunt through the fridge, but I couldn’t find any sage. Then I had a brainwave and looked in the spice cupboard: one already opened and another brand-new jar of sage. I tipped the contents of the opened one into a small blue bowl. It looked rather sparse, so I added a bit more from the new jar. I fetched Astrid’s BaobabBlack Pearl candle from the downstairs loo (where it seems to be used for general decorative purposes as it’s never been lit) and set it on the coffee table in the living area along with the sage, my copy ofThe Guideand a box of Cook’s Matches (only ones I could find and they did somewhat spoil the effect).
