Page 112 of Alice Carver Manifests Her Perfect Life
Date: Saturday 15 AprilTime: 12.40pm
My thoughts and reflections:
I met Ollie at Sam’s Café in Primrose Hill and it was gorgeous with its painted tables and vases of fresh daffodils and windows overlooking the pastel front doors and roomy streets. It was one of those unseasonably warm spring days where the world feels suddenly transformed. Ollie looked pretty much the same, though, if a little grey and slightly softer around the edges. He showed me photos of his daughter, who was adorable – a mass of curls and a suspicious expression – and told me the latest honour his wife had been nominated for. And I filled him in about Astrid and Arrie, and, being Ollie, he didn’t harangue me about whether I was married or had children. Eventually, however, he did say, ‘So what’s prompted this, Alice?’
‘Matthew,’ I said.
‘Ah,’ said Ollie. ‘How is he?’
‘Good. Successful.’
‘Yeah,’ said Ollie. ‘I follow him. He always said he was going to earn more, by himself, than any of the rest of us stood to inherit, and I believed him. But it’s sort of crazy how well he’s done.’
‘Yeah. I know. So you’re not in touch directly at all?’
Ollie shook his head.
‘Since when?’ I asked.
‘Last time I saw him was probably shortly after you and I split up.’
‘You haven’t seen him for over a decade?’
Ollie shook his head again.
‘That’s such a shame,’ I said.
‘Hmm,’ said Ollie. ‘You’ve changed your tune since we were together.’
‘I know he wasn’t my favourite person at the time… ’ (After that night when I’d overheard Matthew warning Ollie off me and all the other things he’d said, I’d covered up the humiliation and hurt of rejection by going all out in slating Matthew every opportunity I got.)
‘That’s an understatement,’ said Ollie.
‘And I do realise that made it hard for you to hang out with him whilst I was around.’ Ironically, despite claiming Matthew was the last person I wanted to see, I was always hoping I’d bump into him when I visited Ollie. ‘But you and Matthew used to be so close that I assumed once I was out of the picture, even if you didn’t pick up where you left off, you’d certainly pick up again.’
‘I assumed the same thing.’
‘So how come you haven’t?’
‘I tried. About four years ago when Taylor was pregnant,’ said Ollie. ‘He totally shut it down. That is one grudge he’s not going to let go.’
We sipped coffee amid the hum of neighbouring conversations. I felt like I should ask him about Taylor, and work: move onto safer territory and let the past stay in the past.But I couldn’t. I couldn’t stop thinking about Matthew. Fair enough that he felt that Ollie could have done better than me, and I could even understand if it bothered him enough not to hang out with Ollie for the duration of our relationship, but why would Matthew throw away his friendship with Ollie beyond that? Especially now Ollie had visibly learnt his lesson and was with Taylor, who must be a great choice of partner in Matthew’s eyes – she runs a bloody charity. No way he could accuse her of being spoilt and selfish.
‘It doesn’t even make sense,’ I said at last. ‘I mean what is he even holding a grudge about now? How can he have a problem with Taylor?’
‘He doesn’t have a problem with Taylor,’ said Ollie. ‘It’s because of you.’
‘I wish he’d just get over it.’
‘You’re a hard woman to get over, Alice.’
‘Sorry?’ I said.
‘And it’s not easy when your best mate screws you over,’ said Ollie.
‘Say what?’
I looked at Ollie in confusion. He stared back, similarly confused.
