Prologue
Date: 1/12/2025
From: [email protected]
Subject: Another bloke bites the dust
Hey Livvie,
Who knew it was possible to hate two blue ticks so much?
Yep, you’ve guessed it: yet another bloke has gone and done a runnerand left me on read for over thirty-six hours now.
I hate this. It feels like all I ever email you about these days isseemingly decent men who end up ghosting me.
The latest one’s called Billy, though telling you his name ispointless as he’ll probably never come up in conversation again. Butseriously, Liv, he seemed so bloody nice.
I got a good vibe from him the moment I saw him. Even his first-daymugshot that I uploaded to the intranet’s staff directory caught myattention as he was actually smiling, rather than trying to look allcool and aloof like so many other new starters here.
We were getting along great. And spent the whole day (and night…)together on Saturday. But, since Sunday morning, I’ve heardn-o-t-h-i-n-g from him. Zilch. And now, on this freezing Monday night atthe start of December, I find myself on my sofa weeping along to thoseAmerican made-for-TV Christmas movies in an attempt to distract myselffrom those chirpy little checkmarks. I’ve stared at them so much I caneven see them when I blink, as if they’ve seared themselves onto theinsides of my eyelids.
I know I used to make fun of you for watching these cheesy festivefilms on Channel 5 on Sunday afternoons when you should’ve been doingyour homework, but I’ll admit there is something about them that seemsto make me forget about All Of The Shit. Despite the fact they’re allpretty much the same, I can’t help but invest in the tropey characterarcs, gasp when they tell me to gasp (OMG, he’s secretly SANTA?!) andswoon when they tell me to swoon.
As ever, the one I’m watching as I’m writing this email features aseemingly carefree and career-focused single woman who’s despatched to apicture-perfect town for some obscure December work assignment. Afterspending mere days there, she concludes – of course – that her life inthe big city she was perfectly content with the previous week is nowutterly meaningless compared to the small-town simplicities presented toher by a kind-hearted local fellow.
I’ve watched so many of these identikit films over the last few yearsthat I’ve even devised my own bingo-based drinking game to play as Iwatch them. I must admit I never thought ticking off Christmas movieclichés with nothing but blankets, cushions and a sticky shot glass forcompany would be my life’s greatest joy just a couple of years off my40th birthday.
I just wish that… fuck, what is it that I wish? I have no bloodyidea. Except for one thing, of course. But that’s the only thing I cannever have.
Right, I’d better go. I’m out with Elle after work tomorrow, which,as you know, means I ought to bank as much sleep as possible while I’vegot the chance.
Missing you, as always.
Love,
Me xxx
Chapter 1
?Story opens in city
I knew the table would be sticky, but I rested my forehead on itanyway.
‘The absolute fucker.’
Elle’s instant summation took me by surprise – especially since I’d only given her a ten-word overview (I-slept-with-Billy-but-haven’t-heard-from-him-since) of my predicament – but I couldn’t deny its accuracy.
I cocked my head to the side and looked up at her out of one eye.
‘Huh, don’t hold back, Elle.’
‘Sorry, Mally, but I just can’t believe it. I thought he was one of the good ones.’
‘I know, right? But apparently not. I can’t figure out what the hell I’ve done wrong this time.’
I peeled my face off the surface and took my time dragging my wine glass towards me to avoid Elle’s commiserative gaze for as long as possible. I drained the liquid slowly but determinedly as her anti-Billy castigation continued. I’d been relying on Elle’s venomous take to exorcise any remaining fondness I had for him, and I hadn’t been disappointed so far.
