Page 19 of Vain
I shove him back violently, catching him off guard as I throw myself off the counter and run at a dead sprint for the stairs, even though my legs threaten to give out.
I hear him following behind me, but I keep going, ignoring the tears running down my face. He reaches out, his fingers grazing my arm.
I whirl around, panic bordering on hysteria as I back up, almost tripping up the stairs. “Don’t touch me,” I hiss.
“Baby?”
“Stop it,” I whisper, my words making him flinch. “Just do your job, Aiden. That’s all I need from you. And stay away from the top floor.” I shut my eyes to the jerk of his head. My caustic tone had hurt him, but I can’t stop. My pain and fear are taking over, and it’s impossible to rein it in.
I run up the rest of the stairs to my room, crying when I turn the handle and find it locked. I turn the knob twice more before I unlock it and repeat the steps in reverse on the other side, hating myself a little bit more for it.
I don’t even reach the bedroom before I collapse onto my knees in the middle of the floor. Pulling them to my chest, I let the floodgates open and sob my heart out, wishing I wasn’t such a fucking freak.
What am I even doing? I shouldn’t be out there trying to be a director. I’m weak and pathetic. When my voice begins to sound like my mother’s, I cover my ears with my hands, hoping to somehow shut it out.
Eventually, I cry myself out, but sleep doesn’t bring me any peace.
Chapter Nine
AIDEN
It’s been five days.
Five days since I fucked up. Five days since I watched her disappear up the stairs, putting distance between us as she reinforced that wall around her heart. The urge to follow her had ridden me hard, but that wasn’t what she wanted or needed. If I’d chased her, I’d have lost her for good. Any trust I’d established between us turned to ash the second I flinched away from her.
So, instead of pushing her when she was at her breaking point, I hung back, fighting my instincts, grinding my teeth so hard my jaw ached. Once her door closed, I followed her up to the top floor, despite her warning not to, and sat outside her door as she sobbed her fucking heart out.
And every night for the last five nights, I’ve found myself in the same place, listening to her weep. Every sob breaking my fucking heart.
She’s avoided me, holding herself up in her suite, sending down for food even though Marley seemed unsurprised by therequest. I expected him and Greyson to ask questions. After all, she left with a smile and returned in tears. Instead, they took it in stride, assuming her hiding out was due to pushing herself out of her comfort zone by going to the studio. I didn’t correct them, but couldn’t look them in the eyes either, as the guilt ate me alive.
And now the house is quiet once more as Matilda finally drifts off to sleep. I sit in the dark with my back to her door and let my eyes drift closed as I fight the urge to punch something.
I did this. I fucked up, and I don’t know how to fix it. I had one shot, one way to react, and I fucking choked. I grip my hair, yanking it hard, the sting clearing my thoughts a little. I should have paid more attention when she told me what happened to her, but I didn’t make the connection. When she told me the helmet saved her, I assumed she escaped the acid altogether.
“Fuck,” I groan quietly to myself as I remember the feel of the scar tissue beneath her shirt. She didn’t escape anything. No wonder she locked herself away for months. She wasn’t just hiding, she was healing. That’s why Daniel’s so pissed with himself. She got hurt on his watch—hurt badly.
I rub my hands over my face, trying to erase the hurt in her expression that haunts me every time I close my eyes. Who knows what she’s thinking right now? Her reaction was filled with horror. It bled into every jolting movement and painful whispered word. I hurt her, and I need to make it right. But I have no idea how.
I don’t know how long I sit there, unable to go to her, unable to leave her alone. Though she stopped crying a while ago, I don’t find any comfort in her silence.
Getting to my feet, I stretch out the kinks and head down the stairs, working on a plan, when I hear Tilly’s gut-wrenching scream. I don’t think twice about not being allowed on the top floor. All I care about is getting to my girl. I fly back down thehall to her room, her screams getting louder the closer I get. I turn the doorknob, cursing when I find it locked. I take a step back, lift my leg and kick the fucking thing in.
I pull my gun and run inside, freezing when I see Tilly curled up in the fetal position on the end of her sofa, screaming herself hoarse. I place my gun back in its holster, drop to my knees, and shake her awake.
“Tilly. Tilly!” I yell, trying to reach her. All of a sudden, her screams stop, as if someone flipped a switch and turned them off.
Slowly, she cracks open her swollen eyes and focuses on me. “Aiden?”
Jesus fuck, her voice sounds ravaged. I scoop her up and pull her into my lap, wrapping my arms tightly around her.
“It’s me. I’ve got you, Tilly. Nothing is going to happen to you, I swear to god. I’ve got you.” I repeat it over and over as she clings to me and sobs.
Once the sobs quiet, I get to my feet with her still in my arms and carry her to the bedroom. A large four-poster bed dominates the room, covered in simple white bedding with a frill at the edge. It’s soft and feminine, just like Matilda. I don’t bother looking around the rest of the room. I lay her in the middle of the bed with her head on the pillows. She’s barefoot, wearing a pair of light gray sweatpants and a black long-sleeved T-shirt. Both seem comfortable enough for her to sleep in so I leave her be for a second as I pull my gun out and place it on the bedside table along with my cell phone. I toe off my boots and climb on the bed beside her, half expecting her to yell at me and kick me out. Instead, she rolls into me, burrowing in deeper when I pull her into my arms and move her so she’s lying half over my chest.
She fists the fabric of my T-shirt in her hands as she takes a deep, shuddering breath. I press my hand to her back, holdingher in place as she tenses under my touch. I skim my lips across her forehead.
“I’m so sorry, baby.”
