Page 77 of The First Cut
Honestly, I don’t think Hannibal's the monster he and everyone else believe him to be. I’m sure he has his moments where his sanity leaves the building, and his demons come out toplay, but he’s not inherently evil. He’s shown me more kindness and affection than most people have, and he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it.
He thinks he doesn’t know how to love. I think he just doesn’t know how to recognize it. It makes me wonder what his home life was like as a kid.
The sound of a car approaching has me lifting my head and wiping my sweaty palms on my skirt. I have no idea why I’m nervous. Millie's just a kid, after all. If I can take shit from a bunch of asshole bikers and spiteful bitches, I can handle the whims of a teenager, right?
When the car stops and the engine cuts out, I stand up, just as Hannibal does. I’ll admit, I’m nervous because a lot rides on this. If Millie doesn’t want me around, Hannibal might decide to cut his losses and find someone else to raise his kid.
“You ready?” I ask with false cheer in my voice. Gotta fake it until you make it, right?
He looks down at me, his gaze completely blank. The hollowness makes me shiver.
I reach out and squeeze his arm. “Come back to me, Hannibal. You’ll only scare her with that serial killer look, and I think the kid has been through enough.”
He blinks and I swear his lips curl up a touch, but it’s gone in a second, and I have to assume I imagined it.
A brisk knock at the door has my stomach churning. I move to open it just as Hannibal reaches up and takes my hand in one of his. He uses his free hand to open the door, revealing the social worker.
“Mr. Shaw?” She holds out her hand for him to shake. He releases mine to shake it before taking mine once more.
“I’m Mrs. Taylor—Millie’s social worker.”
“Where is Millie?” Hannibal’s deep voice asks.
“She’s still in the car. She dozed off on the way over. She hasn’t been sleeping well, as I’m sure you can imagine. I didn’t want to wake her until necessary. I thought you could give me a tour, and we can get any questions out of the way before she wakes, if that’s okay?”
“That works,” he agrees, taking a step back and tugging me with him so the woman can come in.
“I’ll leave the door open, if you don’t mind, so she knows where to find us if she wakes up.”
“That’s fine. So, Mrs. Taylor?—
“Jane, please.”
“Jane, call me Hannibal. And this is my fiancée, Lola.”
I jolt at the title of fiancée, but I keep the smile on my face and don’t let the shock show.
“It’s nice to meet you, Lola.” Her eyes travel down to my stomach before looking back up. I can see she wants to ask, but unlike some people, she doesn’t want to offend me if she’s wrong.
“Yes, I’m pregnant. But depending on what I’m wearing, it’s hard to tell if it’s baby or I’m just bloated.”
She chuckles. “I was like that with my Charlie. Never knew I was pregnant from the back. When I delivered him, I walked right out of the hospital in a pair of size four jeans and a tank top as if I hadn’t just been carrying another human around inside me for nine months. My daughter Diane though…” She blows out an exaggerated breath. “I gained sixty pounds, and it took ten years for me to shake off.” She shakes her head and blushes. “Sorry, ignore my rambling. Congratulations, by the way.” She nibbles on her lip as I smile.
“Thank you.”
“Look, I won’t lie and say this is going to be easy. Millie's a good kid, but she’s just lost her mom. And now she’s being forced to live with her dad, a man she never met, who for allintents and purposes, didn’t want her.” She holds up her hand to stop Hannibal from speaking.
“I’m not judging you. That’s not what this is. I’m just warning you that there will be some teething problems. She’s hurt, scared, and I dare say, lonely. Lola being pregnant might also prove to be a bone of contention between you because, while you didn’t want her, you clearly want this baby.”
“So you’re saying I’ve fucked everything up already?” Hannibal sighs.
“Welcome to parenthood. We all, uh…mess up. But you’re here now. You didn’t turn her away when we both know you could have. She’ll push you, there's no doubt about that, but I think you can handle it.”
Hannibal tilts his head, watching her. “You’re not worried about her being raised in a motorcycle club?”
I cough, warning him to tread lightly.
Jane’s smile turns sharp. “Like I said, I don’t judge. But that said, I’ll be keeping an eye on Millie. I’ll drop by and visit to make sure she’s adjusting and?—”
