Page 107 of The First Cut
“Not today, you won’t. She’s had enough. If and when she wants to talk to you, I’ll call.”
“Why drag it out? Nothing will get better if?—”
“You don’t get it, Havoc. It won’t get better. Nothing you say or do will erase the past. You owe her everything, but there's nothing you can do to repay her.”
“He’s right,” Nevaeh says quietly. “I know you’re hurt, and you feel guilty. And as much as I love you, Havoc, you deserve to feel those things. You fucked up. She paid the price and now it’s your turn to carry the burden. She had all her power stripped from her. We’re not going to take anything else by demanding her compliance or forgiveness.”
I close the distance between us and wrap my arms around her before pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Take him home, Tink. Knowing Lola, she won’t make him wait too long. But I won’t be forcing her to do anything until she’s ready.”
She squeezes my arm. “Take care of her, okay?” She looks at Havoc. “Everything I have is because of her. And you’re right, I’llnever be able to repay her for that. But that doesn’t mean I won’t keep trying.”
I step back as Havoc sighs. “I’m really good at fixing things, Hannibal. But I can’t fix this. I broke her, and then I just kept stepping on all the pieces, grinding them down to dust.”
“Don’t write her off, Havoc. She’s stronger than the best of us.”
He nods before Nevaeh slides her hand into his. “Let’s go home.”
He mummers his agreement, his eyes still on mine. “Tell her I’m sorry and that I’ll wait for however long she needs me to.”
I nod as Nevaeh leads him over to the truck.
“Get his bike in the back. I’m sure he’s fine to ride, but I don’t want him to take the risk with Nevaeh on the back, not with the frame of mind he’s in.”
“Tell us exactly what we’re dealing with here, Hannibal. I feel like we’re still missing something,” Kruger wipes his lip.
“Lola and Driller were never in a consensual relationship. He hurt her and beat her when she was pregnant with Havoc’s kid, causing a miscarriage. He made her a prisoner in her own home, and everyone here became her wardens.”
He scrubs his hand down his face. “Something doesn’t add up here, Hannibal.” Circus shakes his head.
I grit my teeth. “Are you calling her a liar? Because if you are, you can save your fucking breath. Driller admitted to Nevaeh what he did.”
“I wasn’t going to say that. I was talking about this club. I don’t believe for a second that someone didn’t know something.”
I contemplate his words and nod. “I’ll find out one way or another, even if I have to slaughter everyone here and start over.”
“For what it’s worth, I think you’re right. I don’t think Havoc can fix her, but you could. You’re the shield she needs rightnow. She doesn’t just need someone to fight for her. She needs someone to protect her.”
They both leave and head to the truck. I don’t waste time watching them go. I head out to find my woman.
I find her sitting near the kennels, both dogs on either side of her. They growl at my approach, their bodies tense and ready to attack, until Lola calls them off. They move to the fence and sit in a guard position. I know one command from Lola, and they eat my face off.
“Do I even want to know how you have them eating out of the palm of your hand?”
“It’s not hard to gain their loyalty. They’re like any creature. They just want to be loved.”
I sit down on the grass behind her and bracket her legs with mine. I slide my arms around her chest and hold her to me.
We sit in silence for a little while before I break it. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Why would I? Does it even matter anymore?”
“Of course, it fucking matters.”
“Why? Because I’m dirty now, tainted by Driller and?—”
Her words are cut off when, quick as a snap, I wrap one of my hands around her throat and squeeze. Placing my lips against the shell of her ear, I whisper words she had better take to heart. “You are not tainted, doll. You’re a diamond that hid her shine so others wouldn’t notice it, but that’s over now. No more fucking hiding. I refuse to let you wrap yourself in shadows any longer.”
I release the grip I have on her throat but keep my hand there, my fingers pressed lightly against the rapid fluttering ofher pulse. “Tell me the rest. I’ll listen to every fucking word you say, I promise.”
