Page 79 of Private Exhibit
Andy raced down the hallway and flung open the door to the supply room. He rapidly scanned the space, striding past seemingly endless shelves of gauze, bandages, blankets, and gloves. Finally, he spotted a shelf full of adult diapers, all organized by size. They weren't the reusable cloth ones that Devon was used to, but they would have to serve for the time being. Andy snatched one down and hurried back to his office.
He shut the door behind himself, then forced his steps to be slow and measured. Andy didn't want to startle Devon by bursting back into the washroom, and he also needed a moment to compose himself again. To tell himself that he was going to find Devon just as he left him. That everything was going to be alright. Maybe the attack would even be over. He wouldnotfind Devon dead. It simply couldn't happen.
Not yet. He wasn't ready.
Andy took a deep breath and knocked on the door. “Dev? It's just me, baby. I'm coming in.” He thought he heard a mumbled response, so he slowly opened the door and stepped into the room.
Devon was right there, propped up in the corner, his little hands still covering his face.
Thank gods.
Andy shut and locked the door. “Dev? You alright?”
The boy nodded.
“Did you have an accident?”
Devon shook his head.
Andy held back the urge to sigh with relief. “Is the attack any worse?”
Devon started to shake his head again, then paused. “I can feel again,” he mumbled behind his hands, “but I still can't move.”
“That's alright,” Andy murmured, crossing the room. “Maybe that means the attack will be over soon.” He crouched down and reached out to touch the boy's leg. “Let's get your diaper on just in case, though, yeah?”
Devon didn't respond.
Andy picked Devon up and moved him to the middle of the washroom, setting him back down on a rug. He pulled off Devon's shoes and socks, then looked at Devon's face, silently asking for permission to go on.
Devon still remained silent, his jaw tight and tears streaming down his temples as he stared up at the ceiling.
Andy reached for Devon's pants. They were already unfastened and rucked up around his hips, so Andy gently tugged them down, taking Devon's underwear along with them. Andy moved quickly, sliding the diaper underneath Devon's hips, then getting it situated between his legs before fastening the sides.
“Is that pinching anywhere?”
Devon frowned. “No,” he finally whispered.
“Alright. Good.” Andy grabbed Devon's pants and worked them back up Devon's legs, having to take extra care to make sure the diaper didn't get tugged out of place anywhere and that the pants rested where Devon wanted them. “There, baby. All done. Let's get your shoes back on.”
He helped Devon finish getting dressed, then wadded up the boy's underwear in his fist before he slipped both arms under him and lifted him up off the floor.
Devon ducked his head and closed his eyes.
Andy managed to get the door open and carried Devon out to the office. He set the boy gently in the chair, then foundDevon's lunch bag and stuffed his underwear into a side pocket, out of sight. “It's gonna be alright, sweet boy. Everything's gonna be fine.” He crouched down and grabbed Devon's hands. “Tell Daddy what you need,” he added in a murmur.
Devon looked down at their hands, his little fingers tense as he returned the pressure of Andy's grip. “I need to be alone,” he whispered.
“Dev, I'm not sure that's a good idea–”
“Please,” Devon begged.
Andy studied his face for a long moment, then sighed with resignation. “Alright,” he whispered back. He didn't want to let Devon out of his sight, but Devon clearly needed this. It had been the same with Junior. Sometimes, the humiliation was simply too much. Devon needed a chance to recover on his own. Andy rose up and pressed a kiss to Devon's forehead. “I–”
He broke off, his heart racing.Shit. He couldn't say that. Not now. It was completely the wrong moment. And it was too soon.
But a part of him wanted to say those three little words more than he'd ever wanted to say them in his life.
“I'll be upstairs,” he said, hoping he'd recovered quickly enough that Devon wouldn't notice. “I'll come back and check on you in an hour. Alright?”
