Page 16 of Puck'N Enemy
“You still remember him?” I ask.
Maddie nods with a serious look on her adorable face. “Of course, I remember Dylan. He was like a big brother, too. He taught me how to make braids on my Barbie’s hair, you know? And that one time I got sick, Dylan brought me a teddy bear to keep me company. I wish he could eat a slice of my birthday cake, too.”
My throat tightens.
I tried my hardest to forget it all but I still remember.
I remember Dylan chasing Maddie around the yard, playing tag. When Maddie was too tired from running, he’d play house with her dolls. He’d even sit with her and color her unicorn picture books.
“I loved Dylan,” Maddie says, like it’s the easiest thing in the world. “I thought he’d always be around.”
I look at her trusting face and something cracks wide open inside me. “I thought so too, squirt,” I whisper, patting her shoulder gently. “I really did.”
Smiling, she leans against me.
I wrap my arm around her, pulling her close.
For a while, we just sit on the couch, watching the chaos her friends make over bursting balloons. The noise and laughter wash over me, reminding me of a simpler life.
A hollow ache grows in my chest.
I want the past back. I want to stop hating Dylan and carrying this immense weight on my chest that sinks deeper every day.
I’m about to say something to Maddie but she suddenly springs to her feet and runs toward the piñata hanging in thecorner. It’s not long before her friends join her, and together, they laugh and cry, whacking the paper unicorn for candy.
The house has gone quiet.
Maddie is fast asleep on the couch, curled up in a pile of stuffed animals. Her tiara sits crooked on her head while a smudge of chocolate icing still lingers in the corner of her mouth.
A chuckle escapes me at the sight. She gorged on cake and candies this afternoon but after all the shouting, jumping, and running, she’s finally exhausted.
The soft hum of jazz music floats from Mom’s bedroom upstairs. She’s exhausted too but she’s still up, grading papers. Mom’s a teacher and her job never seems to get over.
The warm scent of cake still lingers in the air, but a cold sensation spreads in my chest. Walking out of the living room, I head to the kitchen and open the door to the backyard.
My gaze roves over the old net Dylan and I used to practice on. The back fence is still a little crooked from the time we used to jump over it, pretending a monster was chasing us. The rusty swing set in the corner creaks in the night breeze. Under the glow of the porch light, everything looks smaller than I remember.
I step into the yard, feeling the chill of the night.
Crossing the yard, I reach the net. The edges have frayed at the corners, one side sagging but still standing.
Why didn’t Mom throw it out already?I quietly wonder. I don’t stay at home, preferring to stay in the dorms to stay closerto the university and the ice rink. She should’ve gotten rid of it a long time ago.
Walking away from the net, I sink onto a bench, elbows on my knees and let my head fall into my hands.
I loved Dylan, Maddie’s voice echoes in my head.
My sister said it so simply, like love isn’t the complicated, splintered thing it had become for me.
I hate how I stillfeelfor Dylan. Even after all the betrayal and simmering anger he left in his wake, I still can’t help but feel something more than hatred.
Because I just can’t forget the way Dylan used to look at me.
He still looks at me that way, igniting the fire in my heart. My lips throb, reminding me of the hot, frantic kiss we shared this afternoon.
My fists clench. That kiss should’ve never happened.
I’ve had enough of Dylan stealing glances at me from a distance.
