Page 39 of Puck'n Bully
I still fought with myself, hesitating whether to shatter the world we’d both created for ourselves.
But I was also tired of pretending all the time. I couldn’t keep going any longer without breaking down.
So, I’d swallowed my fears and blurted the words. “I’m gay.”
My declaration hung in the air, suspended for an eternity.
Grams just sighed and walked over to me. Leaning down, she wrapped her arms around me and whispered, “Oh, sweetheart. I know.”
When she stepped away, she was smiling, her eyes kind and warm.
“I’m glad you can accept the truth, honey.”
“Wait—what? Youknew?”
Grams smiled, going back to the counter to dry the dishes with a towel, like I hadn’t just shared the most life-shattering secret with her.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” I asked her.
She shrugged. “I was waiting for you to tell me.”
And just like that, she’d taken the weight of the world off my chest.
All the fear, anxiety, and months of sleepless nights wondering if I’d ever be able to say the truth… it all vanished in that moment.
A tear slides down my face as I open my eyes. I miss Grams so much at this moment.
The car comes to an abrupt halt. Looking ahead, I see that we’ve stopped outside my apartment building.
“One second,” I mutter, digging into my trouser pocket to bring out my wallet. I count the money and hand it to the driver before climbing out of the car.
I glance down at my watch, wondering what time it is in Vietnam right now. Grams is in Ho Chi Minh City at the moment, traveling with her group of close friends.
I don’t care about the time. Ineedher, I decide, making my way inside the dilapidated building. As hope flickers in my chest, I make my way inside the darkened hallway. Thuds of loud music reach my ear as I head up the staircase leading to the second floor.
Relief floods me when I unlock my apartment’s door and head inside. The place is dark except for the glow from the streetlights outside. I head into the bedroom nook and sit down on the edge of my bed.
I wish I wasn’t feeling so wrecked.
It’s not like Hayden had promised me anything. It’s not like we were together. Those kisses and that handjob in the closed library room...they meant nothing.
Still, seeing Hayden panic, seeing the way he wanted to get rid of me had hurt me. Even if I didn’t want to admit this, I’d always feared falling for someone who didn’t care for me.
My chest aches. Another sob builds in my throat, choking me.
I don’t want to trouble Grams but I need to talk to her.
Looking down at my phone, I finally hit the call button.
“Liam?” Gram’s voice is warm but also surprised. “Sweetheart, are you okay?”
No, I want to say.Not even a little.“Yeah,” I say aloud. “I just needed to talk to you.”
There’s a pause and the click of a door. “Tell me, sweetheart,” she says gently.
I swallow, my fingers tightening around the phone. “I just…” I hesitate, hating the way my voice cracks. “I feel like… I’m always waiting for something that’s never going to happen.”
Grams is quiet for a moment. “You mean love?”
