Page 78 of Starve
The scents that flood my lungs are varied, confusing, andnew.
Except for one. I focus on it, and I search my brain trying to remember its source, even though I know I’ve never been able to differentiate scents this acutely before.
Spice, musk, and the coppery tinge of blood.
Cairo.
It’s deeper now, more complex than all the times I pressed my face to his skin and inhaled. But his warmth is there, and I can almost taste him on my tongue when I turn toward where his scent is strongest.
“Can you smell like this?” I whisper to Moro, though I know she’s not about to answer me anytime soon. When I walk into the trees, she follows, occasionally moving away to investigate something, though never going so far that I can’t hear her. My steps quicken when I’m sure of where I’m going, and I break into a slower run, wondering if I should purposefully leave Moro behind so Tyler can’t finish the job.
Not that I’ll let him.
I won’t let him hurt her, or touch her, and whatever he’s done to Cairo, I’ll repay him tenfold. My speed picks up again, and I can’t slow myself down this time, because the smell of fresh blood has joined Cairo’s signature scent.
He’s hurt.
But I had to expect that, so I don’t let it shake me.
Stopping suddenly, I let myself breathe normally, smelling old, rotted wood and hearing the din of voices from somewhere up ahead. When I take another step, my shoes make too much noise in the detritus, and I wince, realizing suddenly why Agatha prefers going barefoot, since her favorite hobby seems to be sneaking up on people. Very carefully I remove my sneakers, leaving them in the dirt and gingerly standing barefoot, expecting it to hurt.
It doesn’t, to my surprise. I feel the earth, the pine needles, and the debris under my feet, but it doesn’t hurt. It just…feels. There’s no better way to describe it. It’s easier to walk forward after that, and I’m always sure to place my feet in ways to keep myself silent, though I probably don’t look particularly graceful when doing so.
Carefully, I keep walking until I find myself at the edge of a clearing where nature has worked to reclaim the land with saplings, vines, and bushes taking over much of what was probably dirt for a long time. The logging camp is old, and all the buildings I can see are decrepit. Most of the roofs have fallen in,and the ones still up look like one strong breeze would take them out. Belatedly, I realize the wind is blowing towards me, which is how I could follow Cairo’s scent, and when it picks up again, I can identify at least two others here as well, though their scents are wholly unfamiliar to me.
Moro barks from somewhere far away, and I hope the wind keeps the sound from anyone here. I don’t know much about how being downwind or upwind works, except what I’ve seen in movies, but all of my memories of the media I consumed in my life seem…fuzzy. Like a dream, or like white noise that doesn’t quite matter as much as it should.
Cairois what matters, and I feel my lips peel back from my fangs as anger sweeps through me, heady and strong, at the thought of Tyler hurting him for his own gain.
It’s a testament to how new I am at this that Hattie is able to sneak up on me, and when I move around one of the old buildings that smell of death and decay, she’s suddenly in front of me, pushing me back with one hand over my mouth.
Her wide eyes are displeased, but unsurprised. Her clawed hand shakes, and she hisses in my face, causing an answering growl to sound in my throat.“Stop,”she whispers when my back hits the wall. I tense, muscles tight under her, and realize that if I wanted to, I could push her off of me.
It’s not like that time at Dr. Radley’s office. She can’t stop me if I don’t want her to. But I’m not looking for a fight with her, and my hand comes up slowly to grip her wrist before I peel her hand away. “Where’s Cairo?” I ask, my voice just as soft as hers was. Like me, she’s barefoot in the dirt, though she’s smeared with grime and blood, her clothes having seen much better days.
She looks over her shoulder, eyes flicking from me to the other side of the building, but when I go to move, she shoves me back against the building, causing my anger to spike. I hissagain, baring my teeth, but Hattie just presses a finger to her lips.
“Not so loud, Fern. Not soloud. He’ll hear you.”
“You mean Tyler.”
She blinks, but doesn’t reply, and it hits me that she’s helping me again, when she has every right to be loyal to him like I am to Cairo.
Which only begs the question—what did he do to lose the loyalty of the girl who was so devoted to him back at Bluebone Ridge?
“You promised me.” Her words are sullen, sulking, and impatience flares in my chest.
“Hattie—”
“Youpromisedme you wouldn’t let him change you!” Now I’m the one reminding her to shush, and I reach out to gently grab her arms.
“He didn’t change me. Not like Tyler changed you.” It’s a guess, but one that hits its mark when she jerks backward, looking down with her face clouded over in remembered pain. “Ichosethis for him.” With Agatha’s ‘assistance,’ but she doesn’t need to know that. “I’m not trapped with him. I don’t owe him anything…and you don’t owe Tyler anything, Hattie. You never have, and you never will.” I’m not sure how she takes my words, but she backs away, looking conflicted.
“Just tell me where he is,” I plead, wanting the information before I spring out and reveal myself. “I’m not asking you to turn against him.” Though it would be nice.
Hattie sighs and glances around us, looking for someone who isn’t there. “On the other side of the buildings, there are piles of logs. Where they used to load them onto trucks. That’s where Cairo is.” When I move to walk around her, she grabs my wrist, with a warning in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Fern,” Hattie whispers with her shoulders hunched. “I didn’t know.”
It’s surprisingly lucid for her, not that I’m complaining. On a whim, I hug her, wrapping my arms around her shoulders and sparing precious seconds that I hope won’t cost me Cairo. “It’s okay,” I breathe. “You’ve done nothing wrong.” She stiffens when I let go, and I feel her eyes on me as I walk silently around the building, heading to where she pointed.
