Page 99 of Unbelonging
As soon as the words were out, I regretted them. It wasn't what I wanted. Not really. But I wasn't a fool. I knew this couldn't go anywhere long term.
I'd been acting like my Mom, neglecting my responsibilities for some pretty boy with obvious commitment issues. I thought I was in love. But I couldn't be. I didn't even know him. And he certainly didn't know me.
He closed his eyes and sucked in a breath. "Is that what you want?"
"I don't know." I ran a nervous hand through my hair. "I can't think right now." It was true. Too many other things had happened tonight. My emotions were running high. Apparently, so were his. This would be the worst possible time to decide anything.
His voice softened. "C'mon. Sit back down."
I looked at him, and then at the door. If I walked out now, I might never be back. The thought made my heart ache.
Slowly I sat, careful to leave some distance between us. When he was too near, I had a hard time thinking. At a time like this, distance was definitely a good thing.
Apparently, he felt differently. He closed that distance and wrapped his arms tight around me. "I'm sorry," he said, whispering into my hair. "You've had a shitty night, and I'm being an asshole. It's just that you've got me all tied up in knots, and I'm trying to go slow. But I can't. Not with you. Because I don't want to."
I felt myself relax into him. "Really?"
"Really."
I pulled away and met his gaze. "You know what scares me?"
"What?"
"It's that you're right," I said. "I know we're going too fast. But no matter what I do, I can't seem to make myself slow down. I guess I don't want to either."
"That's good," he said, running his hand along my face, "because there's something I want to say."
"Yeah?" said a male voice from the doorway. "Me too."
My gaze shot to the door, and there he was, Bishop, the irritation that kept on irritating.
"Will you stop doing that?" I said.
"Yeah. Sorry." He turned to Lawton, who was giving him a murderous glare. "But I'm serious. I need to talk to you."
"Later," Lawton said.
"No," Bishop said. "Now."
Lawton blew out an irritated breath. "Go ahead. Talk. But make it quick. "
Bishop's gaze flicked briefly to me before returning to Lawton. "Alone," he said.
"Well that's just special," I muttered.
If Bishop heard me, he gave no indication. "It can't wait," he told Lawton.
Lawton glanced from Bishop to me.
"Oh, just go," I said. "You know he won't leave until you do."
Lawton turned his gaze fully on me. "You sure?"
"She's sure," Bishop said. "Now, c'mon."
I turned to glare at him. "Thanks for saving me the trouble of answering for myself."
"Don't mention it," he said.
