Page 110 of Unbelonging
"Brandy Blue." He made a sound of disgust. "Well, that's the name she goes by now anyway. You know, I hate that name. Sounds like a damn porn star. But I guess that's what she is, huh?" He looked away. "And me too. Thanks to her."
I knew I shouldn't encourage him. But I couldn’t help it. In spite of everything, I wanted to know. "What do you mean?"
"Anyway, she was this cocktail waitress, and –"
"There's nothing wrong with being a waitress," I said.
"Yeah, I know, honest," he said. "But Brandy, you know, she had her sights set on something else. Wanted to be a star. Not that I knew that when I hooked up with her." He shook his head. "Best fucking actress I ever met."
"What are you talking about?"
"The world I travel in, well, it's not exactly filled with the nicest people."
"So what?" I said. "You're not nice. What do you care?"
"You're right," he said. "I'm not nice."
I glanced around the basement. "Obviously."
"But I guess if I'm being honest," he continued, "the thing with Brandy, I took it out on you. I am so fucking sorry. I should've known better."
"Yeah," I said. "You should've."
"You wanna hear the rest of it?" he said. "Let's go upstairs. I'll make it up to you. I promise."
I stared at him long and hard. I wasn'tthatgirl, the one who'd take this kind of abuse and say it's okay because something bad happened to him in his past. I had always been smart. Well, except for when it came to him.
It was time to reclaim whatever brains I had left and get out while I still had the willpower. "You can't make it up to me," I said. "I don't even know you."
"That's not true," he said.
I rubbed my sore wrists. "Is Chucky still upstairs?"
Lawton nodded.
"Good," I said, "because we're leaving."
"You won't listen to the rest?" he said. "C'mon, baby. Please."
"I'm not your baby," I said. "Not anymore."
I turned away and walked toward the stairway. I heard him follow, but I refused to look back. Upstairs, I found Chucky nestled in his basket, blissfully asleep. It seemed a shame to wake him, but I did anyway.
Lawton followed after me, his voice ragged and his tone pleading as he tried to convince me to stay. When I had all my stuff, including the supply of toiletries I'd started keeping in his master bathroom, I held out my hand. "Keys."
With an anguished expression, he reached into his jeans pocket and held them out. "Won't you at least let me drive you home?"
"No," I said. "And the gate had better be open."
His voice was quiet. "It will be."
"Good."
He held out a hand, but didn't quite touch me. "But only because I hope you'll be coming back through it."
"Yeah, well, keep hoping that," I said.
And a few minutes later, as I pulled out of his gate and onto the quiet street, I finally let the tears fall as I considered everything I'd lost tonight. And through it all, his final words kept echoing in my brain. "I'm not going to force you, but I'm not giving up, either. You wait. I'll win you back. And then, baby, I'm never gonna let you go."
