Page 109 of Jake Forever
"Did you just shush me?"
I gave her a look and shushed her again. I almost felt guilty. Like me, she hated being shushed. But I was trying to accomplish something here. She of all people should respect that. Right?
Apparently not. She gave a slow shake of her head and took a half-step away.
Ahead of us, Ronnie lifted both of his fists and hollered out to Jake, "The next time I see you, you're dead meat."
"Why wait?" Jake said. "You can dead-meat me now."
"Oh, suuuuure," Ronnie slurred. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
"Hell yeah!" Jake said. "Bring it on, fatso."
"Heeey!" Ronnie bellowed. "I'm not fat!"
I had to agree with Ronnie. He was a big guy, but I didn't see an ounce of fat on him. Then again, I could only see the half that was hanging out of the car. If his ass was big, I'd never know it.
In front of us, Jake gave Ronnie a cocky grin. "If you say so, Tubs."
The crowd laughed. Ronnie sputtered. Somewhere down the street, tires squealed, and something crashed. The crash was followed by the sounds of yelling, not the call-an-ambulance kind of yelling, but the angry, fender-bender kind, filled with profanity and threats to jam a muffler up someone's ass.
As for Ronnie's car, it showed no sign of moving. He glared at the crowd, looking more belligerent than ever.
Amusing or not, this was putting other people in danger. I couldn't help myself. Still holding the phone, I hollered out, "Hey, Ronnie! Just go, okay? You're gonna get people hurt!"
Selena turned to look at me. She flashed me a sudden smile and said, "Shhh!"
"Oh, shut up," I whispered.
From the car, Ronnie was glaring atmenow. He yelled out, "Shut up! I ain't going nowhere!" But just as he said it, his car lurched forward, only a couple of feet, but enough to throw Ronnie off-balance. He tumbled out of the open window, rolled a couple of times, and landed face-up in the parking lot.
The crowd roared with new laughter.
On the concrete, Ronnie lifted his head. He turned to glare at Jake. "You asshole! You did something! Didn't you?"
"I dunno," Jake said. "Does screwing your mom count?"
Next to me, Selena snickered. When I turned to look, she whispered, "Hey, you laughed first."
Did I?
Probably.
I did that a lot around Jake, come to think of it.
I looked toward Ronnie's car. A skinny guy with slick hair poked his head out of the passenger's side window. He called out toward Ronnie, "Sorry dude. You okay?"
Before Ronnie could answer, Jake gave the new guy a big thumbs up. "Yeah. I'm good," Jake called. "Thanks, dude!"
With a grunt, Ronnie pushed himself up into a sitting position and yelled out toward Jake, "Asshole! He was talking to me, not you."
"You sure?" Jake asked. "Because I've gotta be honest. I'm pretty sure he was looking at me."
Ronnie leapt to his feet and stood, with his fists clenched and his nostrils flaring. But then, he suddenly froze.
I knew why. It was because of the police sirens that were growing louder with every second. Ronnie's head swiveled toward the sports car, which, a split-second later, squealed off, leaving Ronnie standing there alone, looking like a total doofus.
After a long pause, and a whole lot of profanity, he started running, pretty darn sloppily, given his condition.
When he disappeared around the corner, I lowered Selena's phone and hit the stop button. I looked out toward Jake. He was still standing there, looking like the giant smart-ass he was, with his brother standing next to him.
I don't know why, but I couldn't help but smile. He was obviously insane, but he was all mine.
And suddenly, it was hard to care about anything else.
