Page 127 of Jake Forever
Chapter 44
Talk about nerve. Sitting in the driver's seat, I considered the absurdity of his question.
Where wasmyphone? Maybe he should worry about his own phone. It was, after all, still ringing.
Rango looked to my lap. "What? Are you sitting on it?"
"No, I'm not…" I hesitated as something slowly dawned on me. "Wait a minute. Are you implying thatI'mcalling you? Like right now?"
As an answer, Rango shoved his phone – or, more accurately,oneof his phones – practically into my face.
I felt my eyebrows furrow. On the display, sure enough, I saw my own name, as clear as day.
How was that possible?
His phone was still ringing. I snatched it from his hand and hit the answer button. And then, silently, I waited.
A moment later, I heard the sounds of – What the hell? – a porno movie, playing on the other end of the line.
Or at least, it sure sounded like a porno movie, unless – heaven forbid – it was the real thing. I heard grunting and groaning and naked skin slapping together in ways I could only imagine. And then, I heard – I paused. No, that couldn't be right – a cow?
Sure enough, there it was again. A distinct mooing sound.
I swallowed. Oh, my God. It wasn't just a porno. It was, well, I didn't know what it was exactly. But overall, it was pretty darn disturbing.
And then, I heard something else. A snicker.
And not just a generic snicker. Afamiliarsnicker.
Damn it.
I yelled into the receiver. "Hey! Ass-munches!"
Suddenly, the movie – if that's what it was – stopped playing. A moment later, I heard Steve's voice say, "Gee, that's pretty rude."
"Rude?" I wanted to throttle him. "Not as rude as animal porno." My voice rose. "Seriously, what the hell? You stole my phone?"
"Nah, we just borrowed it."
"I don't freaking believe this." I lifted my gaze to Rango, who stood, staring down at me from outside the car.
Deliberately, I turned away, looking to avoid eye-contact. In a much quieter voice, I told Steve, "Well, I need it back.Now."
"Get real," Steve said. "We can't bring it backnow. We're working."
"Oh, for God's sake. You're not working. You're making obscene phone calls."
"Hey, we're doing both," he said. "It's called multi-tasking. You ever hear of it?"
Multi-tasking? Like slapping him sillyandyelling? On that front, I was feeling highly motivated.
From somewhere in the background, Anthony called out, "And besides, we're on break."
Steve said, "See?"
Isodidn't have time for this. Through gritted teeth, I said, "Tonight then. Nine o'clock. Bring the phone, or else."
"Oh, alright," Steve said, not sounding too happy about it. "But just so you know,you'rebuying the pizza. And don't be skimpy this time. We want two – nothree– pizzas. With everything." He paused. "And beer, too. Bottles, not cans."
