Page 66 of Fake It Till You Break It
“That just shows you how certain I am that everything will be okay.”
I wished I could be as certain about everything as Aly was. But at least I knew that no matter what, I’d still have Mom and Aly on my side. And that wasn’t too bad at all.
JAKE
I SCOWLED WHEN Iwalked into the kitchen and found Finn sitting by the counter with a big dopey smile on his face. Ever since he came home, he had been everywhere. In the bathroom when I woke up. Hanging out in the hall right before I went to sleep. Cleaning out the garage when I came home from school. I was basically tripping over him every freaking step I took. It was like the dude had nothing better to do with his time except annoy me.
“Morning!” he called out, waving a spoon at me before scooping up more cereal into his mouth. “Do you want some Froot Loops or Frosted Flakes?”
I grabbed some orange juice from the fridge. “Neither. I don’t eat breakfast in the morning.”
“Since when?”
“Since three days ago.”
Finn snorted. “You got sarcastic these past two years. I like it.”
“Like I give a shit about what you like.” I downed the glass of OJ in one gulp and put the glass into the sink. “Why don’t you just leave us alone and go back to your dumb little cruise ship? That’s what you’re good at. Leaving. It’s not like Mom and I matter to you anyway.”
“That’s not true.”
“Yeah, right.”
He laced both hands together behind his neck and leaned back in his chair. “It isn’t, but I know you won’t believe anything I say anyway so what’s the point?”
“Exactly, so you should just leave.”
“No, I’m not going anywhere. Not until you’ve said everything you need to say. Even if you won’t listen to me, I’m going to listen to you.”
God, why was he so freaking stubborn? I crossed my arms and stared at the ceiling in frustration. “There isn’t anything left to say.”
Finn rolled his eyes. “Come on. You’re not this much of an ass because you don’t have anything to say. I disappeared on you and Mom for two years. Without even saying goodbye. Just texted Mom when I was already past the Texas state line. You’re pissed at me. Just admit it. Unless you’re too much of a chicken to actually say it out loud.”
My jaw tightened, and I had to grip the edge of the counterbehind me so I wouldn’t go over there and deck him. “I’m not a chicken. I just don’t see the point in talking to you. I haven’t for two years. Why start now?”
Finn got up and moved toward the doorway so I wouldn’t leave. His hand still held on to the spoon in one hand like it was a weapon. “You were really chatty a few days ago on the front porch in front of everyone. Now that it’s just you and me, you don’t have anything left to say? Fine, then I’ll start talking first.” He let out a deep breath before dropping the hand with the spoon. “I’m sorry for leaving the way that I did. I was a coward and a jerk for ditching you.”
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. I don’t care what you say.”
“Come on, Jake. I’m begging you to just talk to me. Do it for Mom’s sake.”
I don’t know if it was because he mentioned Mom, but the anger pushed up from my gut and made everything in front of me get blurry. This was enough. “Fine, you want me to talk? I’ll talk.” Pushing away from the sink, I jerked my arm back and punched him straight in his jaw.
He stumbled back and dropped the spoon onto the floor. His right hand rubbed his jaw, and he just stared at me with a confused expression.
For some reason, this only made me angrier, and I shoved his shoulders. Twice. “Don’t you dare talk about Mom like you care about her. If you did, then you wouldn’t have ever left her, you jackass. She gave up her whole life to raise us, andyou just abandoned her. Abandoned both of us. Did you even care that she cried herself to sleep at night for weeks after you left? I still remember hearing her through the walls even though she didn’t do it until she thought I was asleep. Like I could actually sleep after you left. Like I—”
My arm moved back to punch Finn again, but he didn’t move. He just stood there and watched my fist move toward his face. His eyes even squeezed together as he waited for the punch, but he didn’t flinch.
At the very last second, I froze and let my hand drop to my side. The anger zapped out of me, and the only thing left was exhaustion. “I don’t even remember our real parents. They died so long ago. All I’ve known my whole life is you and Mom. And Mom is great, I love her, but it was just you and me. You were the only one I had growing up. You looked out for me. We understood each other. We were there for each other. And then you just left without saying anything. Do you know how much that hurt?”
I took a couple of steps back away from him and leaned against the wall. “I mean, our parents left us, but it wasn’t their choice. But you… you chose to not be a part of my life anymore. You chose to not be there for me anymore.”
With a guilty look on his face, Finn let out a deep sigh and shook his head. “I know, and I’m sorry. I was just—no, I’m not going to make excuses for what I did. It was wrong and stupid, and I’m really, really sorry.”
I swallowed at the lump in my throat and turned away. “Like I said, it doesn’t matter now. Mom and I have been getting along fine without you. So it would have been better if you just stayed away forever. Why did you have to come back and drag Mia down to your level?”
“I dragged Mia down? Do you even—” To my disbelief, he stood there andlaughedat me. “I know that I’ve been stupid, but right now, you’re being almost as stupid as I was.”
