Page 24 of Beast in the Badlands
Ilie awake on the cold, hard cot, staring up at the cracked ceiling while the silence wraps around me like a suffocating shroud. The dim light flickers, shadows dancing along the walls of the med bay. I glance over at Emry. She sleeps soundly in her cot across the room, her back turned to me, curled under the blanket I draped over her earlier. The sight tugs at something deep inside me.
I shouldn’t feel this way—shouldn’t even be thinking about it. But as I replay the memory of her leaning into me, foreheads touching, quick breaths mingling with my own, I can’t help it. It touches a part of my heart that’s been buried beneath layers of scars and pain. A part I thought only existed in a weaker species.
The half-repaired transmitter sits on the workbench like a taunting reminder of everything that’s out of reach. My fingers twitch as I consider trying to power it on again—just to see if Kairon is out there, just to hear a voice that isn’t Emry's or my own. But then what? What if he actually answers?
I can almost hear his voice in my head, gruff and commanding: “Renn, get your ass back here.”
The image shifts in my mind—a flash of two distinct paths branching before me like dark vines snaking into uncertainty.One leads to freedom—the thrill of space travel and being back with Kairon and Ava; safety within their ranks again. The other path spirals deeper into this planet's chaos with Emry by my side.
But would she come with me? Or would she refuse to leave her makeshift home?
The thought makes my stomach churn. I’ve never wanted to stay anywhere longer than necessary; roots always felt like a weight dragging me down. Yet leaving without her makes me feel physically ill.
My muscles tense at the very idea of turning away from her—walking away while she remains here alone in this hellhole, trapped among ghosts and shadows that whisper tales of despair.
I turn my gaze back to Emry. The way she curls into herself reminds me how fragile humans are—how delicate they appear against the backdrop of war and devastation. She carries so much weight on those small shoulders; it shows in every movement she makes when she thinks no one is watching.
And yet… she doesn’t break.
A soft sigh escapes her lips as she shifts in her sleep, drawing my attention back to those moments we shared—moments when vulnerability felt less like a liability and more like an unexpected bond forged in hardship.
What do you want from me?I think as I try to suppress these thoughts surging through my mind. There’s danger in wanting someone—especially someone like Emry.
But maybe danger has its own allure; maybe it beckons me forward rather than pushes me away.
In another life—one without war or ghosts—I might’ve been able to reach out for something more than just survival: companionship, perhaps even love—but this life is filled with death and pain lurking around every corner.
“Damn it,” I mutter under my breath as frustration wells up inside me again.
I force myself to lay down, staring up at the flickering light hanging precariously from the ceiling.
“Get yourself together,” I whisper fiercely to myself as though discipline will drown out desire.
But every time Emry shifts or exhales softly across the dimly lit room, something deep within me fractures further—a painful bloom of yearning that refuses to be silenced or ignored. It’s as if each delicate movement of hers is a dagger that drives deeper into the already tender wound of my heart.
No matterhow much fear lingers in the corners of my mind, threatening to cloud my judgment with visions of what lies ahead, one undeniable truth remains steadfast in my thoughts: leaving her behind feels like an act worse than death itself—a betrayal far greater than anything I have ever committed before. The thought of her being left to face whatever dangers await outside this crumbling sanctuary fills me with a dread so profound it feels like a weight on my chest, constricting my breath.
Finally,I force my eyes shut, desperate to escape the relentless ache of those insistent thoughts. Sleep pulls me under, but it’s not a peaceful descent into the comforting embrace of darkness. Instead, I plunge headlong into a chaotic dreamscape filled with blood and ash, where the acrid smell of smoke stings my nostrils and the sounds of distant chaos reverberate through my very bones.
I’m backin the field, where chaos reigns supreme, and screams echo around me like gunfire—a cacophony of despair that sends chills racing down my spine.
Through the haze of confusion,there’s Emry, her hand slipping from mine, a ghostly sensation that sends shockwaves of panic through me. Shadows close in around us, dark and oppressive, swallowing her light.
I reach for her,desperation clawing underneath the surface of my skin, but she fades away, consumed by the encroaching darkness. The world spins violently, and panic grips my chest, tightening like a vice as I call out for her, my voice a growl lost in the tumult of the nightmare.
“Emry!”I shout, a primal instinct rising within me, but it’s swallowed by the chaos, just like her.
I jolt awake with a snarl on my lips, fire igniting in my chest like a shot of adrenaline. My heart races, the remnants of the nightmare clinging to me like ash. Instinctively, I look over to Emry’s cot. Relief floods through me when I see her still asleep, her chest rising and falling softly beneath the thin blanket.
I push myself upright, pain lancing through my legs, but it doesn’t matter. Determination hardens within me; she will come with me when we leave this hell behind.
The thought lingers like a flickering flame in my mind—her by my side as we soar into the stars together. A strange sense of comfort wraps around that notion; something warm amidst all this chaos.
What if she refuses? The question worms its way into my thoughts uninvited. But no—she’s shown resilience that speaks volumes. She cares for others even when it costs her well-being;she has fought against despair when every instinct should tell her to run.
No. I won't allow it.
“You’ll come with me,” I vow quietly, watching as she shifts slightly in her dreams. "You're mine."
