Page 6 of The Bodyguard and the Alpha
We couldn’t keep on going like this. I had to be upfront with her. It was past time to tell her how I felt. I’d waited five years for her to trust me again, the way she had trusted me when we first met. Even though she had refused my dinner invitation, her smiles had been freely given. And then they weren’t. Her eyes, which had been warm and welcoming, turned into hard chips of emerald. She hadn’t been the Ice Queen when she started working for me, but because of me, she had embraced the name. She had hidden all her warmth and light under layers of ice.
It was my fault. All of it was my fault.
I was a bad Alpha. It was my core duty to protect my mate. Tocherishher. And I had failed. None of the things I had given her were what she needed. Beast’s howl was a mournful commentary on my failure.
It was time for me to pull my head out of my ass. Electra didn’t want material comforts. She didn’t want ski resorts or fancy restaurants. She just wanted me. She wanted touch and comfort.
Watch out, baby, here I come.
And I wanted to do that now. Right fucking now. But of course, I couldn’t. Today was the beginning of the Summit and with the recently discovered terrorist plot that my brother’s new mate had been caught up in, I had no time to stalk my mate through the corridors, find her and fuck her until she understood that she was my world. I was due to meet my brother Luc in a few minutes. I was the fucking President and he washead of my Palace Security. On the morning of the Summit, with a credible terrorist threat, I couldn’t blow him off, even if it was to soothe my mate.
With a snarl, I punched the wall and walked out.
By the time we’d finished our conversation, Patrick, my press secretary and Ben, my personal assistant, were waiting to go over the final details for the morning’s sessions in my private study. I didn’t see my little Pixie again until my full security team had come to escort me to the Summit’s opening session.
But throughout the meetings, my cock had remained hard.
Chapter 5
Electra
Wtf? Really, wtf? Five years of radio silence, and then this?
Head down, I rushed back to my suite. I needed a few minutes to get myself under control. Change my panties. Maybe take a cold shower.
Working with Shifters wasn’t usually a hardship. I was used to being emotionally locked down but now…. Shit. Damn. Fuck. Now they’d notice everything. They’d hear my elevated heartbeat. Smell my arousal.
Hell no.
Memory and experience had me taking the familiar turns in the labyrinth of corridors of this old building, a Gothic monstrosity, which was just as well, as my higher order brain function wasn’t working.
Almost falling through the door to my suite, I collapsed against it when it shut behind me. My heart was galloping in my chest, my breaths fast and light. Squeezing my eyes shut I tried to regain control. But the events in the Small Dining Room played on a loop in my head. How his large hands—one cuppingthe nape of my neck possessively, the other around my waist—held me captive against him. That almost-kiss.
His eyes had turned blue. I knew it meant his Shifter side was close. I’d seen it in the eyes of my team members when they were about to turn. But I’d never seen it in Bastien. Desire coiled in my belly. Seeing Bastien on the brink of losing control had been beyond hot. No, I corrected myself, the President. It was too dangerous to call him Bastien, even in my head. I had no idea why he’d chosen today of all days to touch me, but regardless of the reason, I couldn’t let this happen again. Even if it was only until the end of the Summit, he was still my boss.
I couldn’t let him sniff my hair. I couldn’t let him hold me in his arms, surrounding me with his body, cushioning me against the world. And I couldn’t let him kiss me.
My jelly legs gave way and I slumped to the floor, wetness trickling from my eyes which were still firmly squeezed shut. His mouth had been mere inches from mine. His warm breath fanned my cheek and his scent had surrounded me, filling my nostrils, making me lightheaded with need. I could have turned my head and his lips would have been on mine. With his tight grip and my body pressed firmly against his, I would have been unable to resist as he plundered my mouth.
No, no, no. Groaning, I banged my head against my arms, draped over my bent knees. I had to stop torturing myself. There was no happy ending here. He was the President. I was his bodyguard. Tensions were high with this Summit and the terrorist threat. He was an Alpha and he’d sensed I was on edge. His protective instincts had gone into overdrive and that had morphed into sexual need once I was in his arms.
That was all. I knew it was all. But it was hard to tell that to my heart.
I was so lonely. Of course, I’d tried to date. I wasn’t a princess in a tower who wasted five years while she mooned for the handsome Shifter. Who was her boss. But it wasn’t easy. Most of the men I met were contacts I made through my professional connections. And my reputation as the Ice Queen meant that most of them only wanted to see if they could be the one to get through my defences. I shut all of them down.
After I realised that meeting someone professionally was unlikely, I tried to find men who knew nothing of my reputation in the Palace. Someone who had no connections with the world I lived in. Someone normal. Someone non-magical. But opportunities to meet that sort of man were hard to come by. We weren’t allowed to add personal apps onto our phones, which took out my best chances of connecting with someone and the few men I’d met on my forays out of the Palace ghosted me after our first dates. Even Daniel. Thirty-something, on leave from his job as a combat medic, his muscles had been fully on display in the tight henley that moulded to his chest and biceps. He’d slid onto a stool beside me in a bar where I’d taken myself. His voice had been like gravel when he ordered his drink and I’d flicked him a glance from under my lashes. Two hours later, we’d moved to a booth. Neither of us was drunk. Sure, we’d had a drink or two, but we’d spent our time talking and eating. Laughing. I’d been sure he was into me as much as I’d been into him. All the signs had been there. He’d draped his arm along the back of the booth we’d been sitting in, his fingers toying with my hair, his hip against mine. He was much bigger than me, over six foot and with the way his body blocked out the bar, it could have felt threatening, he was clearly strong and I was small. But I wasn’t scared of him. Firstly, I was more than able to take care of myself. But, more importantly, I felt protected. I felt safe. I felt wanted.
And then he’d got a call and had to go. “Give me your number, beautiful,” he’d said. “I’ll call you tomorrow, I swear.” His eyes were fierce. I gave him my number. Saw him put it in his phone. He even read it back to me to confirm he’d got it right. And then he’d given me a quick hard kiss. “To tide me over till next time.”
But he left and didn’t call.
Fuck. I didn’t need this today. I had a job to do, and I couldn’t afford to be distracted by my own little pity party. So what if I was lonely? I’d been lonely for years. Today was no different. I was rattled, sure. My crush had almost kissed me and told me to call him by his first name. But we’d been down this path before and it had ended badly. Next time we had a private moment together, I’d tell him it couldn’t happen again.
I began my breathing exercises. Gradually my breathing slowed. When I felt calm, albeit still a bit wobbly, I dried my tears and hauled myself into the shower. Bastien’s—the President’s—scent was all over me and I was a sweaty, frustrated mess. Setting it as cold as it would go, I stood underneath the freezing spray, letting the cold seep into my body until I was numb.
And then I put on fresh underwear—plain black utilitarian cotton— and a new uniform. Squaring my shoulders, I went to work.
Chapter 6
