Page 69 of The Bodyguard and the Alpha
She didn’t return my smile.Are you ready?
For your secrets? Yes.It was the understatement of the century. I was beyond hungry. Every part of my nature was primed and ready to meet this challenge. Whatever was in her head, telling her that we shouldn’t be together; I would fight it with every bit of my strength. My human half would fight with words. My Beast half would fight with instinct.
I wanted every part of her. All her light. And all her darkness. They belonged to me, because she. Was. Mine.
Her shields dropped. The world seemed to stop. Vicious satisfaction reared in my chest. This was the moment I’d been waiting for.
One beat of my heart. Her eyes steady on mine.
And toxic darkness spewed down the bond.
Self-hatred. Loathing. Fear of failure.
Memories, starting from the first moment she’d come into her power. Her mother’s relentless demands. Stifling Electra’s own wishes for her future. Pushing my Pixie into becoming something she’d never wanted but nonetheless pursued with every fibre of her being, to get her mother’s approval.
Memories in college. Of Silvio, who’d compelled a female student to give him a blowjob and Electra interrupting them. Recognising the compulsion. Silvio being exonerated in an internal University inquiry. My little Pixie’s guilt that she hadn’t been able to get him expelled. Silvio bullying her.
Her secret self-blame for being unable to prevent Calypso’s abduction last month.
How the job as my bodyguard had slowly been stifling her.
The guilt she still felt for allowing us to be captured by Humans First. I’d told her it wasn’t her fault and I thought she had believed me. Instead, the negative feelings had been festering inside her. She saw herself as a failure.
And after I shifted into my Beast form. Protecting her in the bowels of the Humans First facility. Leaving her in the spell-warded manacles so she couldn’t do the only thing she knew how to do. To be a Witch. Her feelings of redundancy. Bewilderment.
Her confusion over our bond. Her disbelief that I wanted her.
Her mother had fucked her up so badly. Made her believe that her self-worth was tied to her magic. That nothing else mattered but her power. And she had to be fucking perfect. Mistakes were punished.
Food was used as a weapon of punishment.
My fingers tightened compulsively around her body and I had to force them to loosen. Her skin bruised easily.
Baby, I’m so sorry.If I hadn’t been lying down, I would have fallen to my knees.
I was strong enough to fight her demons, that wasn’t the problem. I was her Alpha. Her mate. She was damaged, but so was I. For most of my life I’d locked half of my soul inside a prison in my mind. If that wasn’t fucked up, I didn’t know what was. I wasn’t afraid of her trauma. I was stronger than her darkness.
I would fucking devour it for breakfast and come back for more. Every piece she gave me, was a piece that could no longer hurt her. Because I wouldn’t let it.
I wanted to beg for her forgiveness that I hadn’t known.
I’d had no idea that she had kept all of this poison inside her.
No clue that my little Pixie was struggling so much. I’d known that she was sad. Alone. Lonely. But she’d never shown any outward signs of the destructive thoughts that were damaging her psyche.
But, amongst the darkness, I saw her light. It shone so brightly. Her soul was courageous. Battered and bruised perhaps. But still so full of goodness.
She was too good for me, but I was never letting her go. I’d caught her. Bitten her. Bonded her. She was mine forever.
And it was time to remind her of that.
And like a mirror that reflected light, I shone a spotlight on all the good inside her. I showed her the other side of her darkness.
The way she cared for Calypso when their bitch mother turned her attention away from the child who’d “failed” her.
How she’d supported the abused female student, accompanying her to therapy, keeping her company as she cried.
Her response when she suspected that Silvio was cheating in his assessments by compelling other students but she couldn’t prove it, was to study even harder, to beat him.
