Page 61 of The Moments You Were Mine
I could and should fight with him on his attitude and demands, but suddenly, I was overwhelmingly tired again. So I did the easiest thing I could. I sat back down. Maybe Parker was right. Maybe my guests and employees needed to see me doing this simply for the reassurance it would provide. The staff meeting had been tense with worry, but no one had threatened to leave. If anything, everyone had buckled down and recommitted themselves simply because it seemed we were under attack.
It had choked me up then, and it did all over again.
Why the hell couldn’t I keep the tears at bay these days?
I looked down and tugged at the life vest that was pulling too tightly across my chest. In my teen days, I wouldn’t have even bothered with one as Maisey and I made this same loop from the falls down to the lake on the tubes. But now I had to be a good role model for our guests.
I clicked open the strap, loosened it, and then locked it back into place, wondering why everything felt just a hair too small these days—even my bathing suit. My breasts had spilled out almost embarrassingly from the top when I’d put it on, prompting me to cover it with a tank top. While I hadn’t put this particular suit on since Rae had shipped all my items from the apartment, I had worn it to the beach with her in May, and it had fit fine. Theweight gain had to have been bloating from my upcoming period—or stress eating.
Except, you’ve hardly been eating at all.
I pushed that thought away, eyes settling on Parker again as he pulled off his T-shirt. Seeing him like this, all skin and carved muscles, literally made my mouth water and my core clench. He was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen. He’d always been that way, even as a teenager, but his years as a Navy SEAL had sculpted him into perfection.
It wasn’t just the cuts and grooves that made him so stunning. It was his pure masculinity. The smattering of chest hair that led down to the waistband of his swim trunks and the delicious V that disappeared below the band. The sinful bulge below that had forever tempted me to explore, to see what he looked like completely bare.
He absolutely did not need the life vest he donned. Parker had been through much worse in his training, and very likely on his missions, than our lazy river could ever offer up. He wore it for the same reason I did—for my guests and our insurance policy—but I suspected it was also for Theo. So the little boy would wear his without argument after seeing Parker in one too.
Parker shoved his and Theo’s shoes, shirts, and sunscreen into the water-safe bag I’d brought, then handed it over to me to snap onto the hook of my tube while he sat in his. He held out his hand for Theo, who glanced at Parker with a flash of uncertainty before crawling into his lap.
I reached over and touched the little boy’s hand. “Do you like to swim?”
Theo cocked his head. “Mommy says pools are dirty.”
“But you went to the beach with your dad, and he was teaching you how to swim,” Parker reminded him. “Remember riding the foamie while he pushed you?”
I wasn’t sure if it was the reminder of his dad that made Theo’s frown grow or the mention of the beach.
“This is way easier than swimming or surfing,” I told Theo. “It’s more like a slow ride at an amusement park. All you have to do is sit back and let the water take you. You’ll see beautiful scenery and maybe some animals, and right before the river dumps us into the lake, there’s a little slope that makes you feellike you’re floating in the air. That’s my favorite part.”
I hadn’t done this in so long that I’d forgotten the simple joy of meandering along the current with nothing to do but enjoy the view. I’d been too busy—and not just with college. Even when I’d been here, my focus had been on making sure the ranch succeeded after Dad had poured so much money into it, especially knowing he’d only done it for me.
“You ready?” Parker asked Theo.
The little boy nodded, and Parker pushed off from the shore with a bare foot. The current immediately grabbed their tube, but it wasn’t a fast or scary rush. I shoved off and nearly collided with them. Parker grabbed hold of my tube, and just like I had when I was a kid, I hooked my foot into the handle of his, joining us.
The smile that took over Parker’s face stole my breath. The sun beat down on him, turning his dark hair into shades of silver and deep sapphire. I wished I could see his eyes, but they were tucked behind tinted sunglasses. I’d just have to imagine the corners crinkling in that way they did when Parker was truly happy.
Theo’s little face still looked hesitant as we moved along the surface. He was a lanky kid, with long legs peeking out of swim trunks smattered with cartoon dogs, but his arms and thighs had a surprising amount of muscle for a kid his age. Those muscles flexed as he clung to a handle of the tube with one hand and Parker’s elbow with the other. I was fairly certain it wasn’t fear but uncertainty that had him gripping so tightly. This was a new experience, something he was doing without his dad as a safety net.
I turned away, unable to look at them without my heart hurting for all they’d lost.
A shadow of a large bird crossed over us, and I looked up in time to see a hawk coast by, wings at full span. Catching an updraft, he barely seemed to move his wings but was still propelled upward at a surprising speed.
It wasn’t quiet—the river gurgled, trees rustled, birds chirped and chittered—and yet it felt quieter than anywhere I’d been in weeks. Solemn and peaceful. The heat of the day made everything seem more languid. A dream in slow motion.
I scooted down until I could rest my neck on the tube, closed my eyes, and just let the rocking of the river soothe me.
It didn’t take long for Theo to relax as well. He went from tense silence to a million questions at warp speed. What kind of tree was that? Did the wolves come down to the river? Who did all this land belong to?
“Fallon owns it all,” Parker said.
I leaned my head to the side and watched as Theo’s little mouth dropped open. Then he asked solemnly, “Are you a princess?”
I laughed. “Only if princesses sling poop for a living.”
“Poop is hel-fy.” The little boy sounded just like Teddy. Or maybe just like Spence had sounded when he’d been alive.
My smile grew. “Yep, it is healthy. It’s when animals don’t poop that you’ve got to worry.”
