Page 24 of The Moments You Were Mine
I turned to Rae. “I’m sorry to put you in the middle of this.”
“I’m glad you finally ended it,” she said, a frown between her brows. “You know, ever since Ace spent a few weeks here while you were in Rivers, JJ has been edgier than normal.”
My mouth fell open. “What? Ace stayed here?”
Surprise coasted over her face. “JJ told me you said it was okay.”
A shudder went up my spine. “Ace did eighteen months infederal prison because I testified against him for assaulting his wife and damaging national park property. His wife returned the favor by stalking me for months. Why on earth would I ever let that man in my apartment?”
“I’m sorry.” Her face crumbled. “I should have known better. I was in a hurry to leave for spring break, and you were with your mom, and things were so dicey there. I didn’t want to bother you with one more thing. He insisted he’d cleared it with you.”
It only cemented my decision further. JJ knew how I felt about Ace and his wife. I’d gone to battle for Celia, and she’d returned the favor by turning my life into a bit of hell before she’d just up and left San Diego. The only reason Dad hadn’t sent a bodyguard to trail me was because JJ had moved in, and Parker was minutes away whenever his team wasn’t deployed.
This wasnota forgivable offense. If JJ really loved me, he should have wanted to keep Ace as far away from me as possible, not invite him into our home. It was bad enough they’d been working together again at the surf shop since Ace had gotten out of prison. Worse that JJ insisted Ace was a good guy who’d just made a few mistakes.
I felt like I’d just had blinders ripped off my eyes.
We’d both been living a lie—JJ and me.
And I was tired of it. Tired of this pretend life and the pretend girl I’d become.
It was time I went back to Rivers.
It was time I went home.
? ? ?
Our apartment was stuffed to the seams with family and friends. JJ’s family couldn’t afford the flight from back east, but his surfing buddies and some of the staff from the clinic he’d befriended mingled with my equestrian teammates. Everyone was laughing. The mood was light, but I hadn’t been able to shake the darkness from this morning. Not even standing up and getting my master’s degree with my family cheering in the stands had really removed the heavy veil clinging to me.
I watched JJ as he laughed at something a friend said. He didn’t even look like the surfer I’d first been entranced withanymore. The suit jacket he’d slid into before we’d left for the university was expensive—more expensive than he could afford working at the surf shop. Just like he couldn’t afford the slick, modern furniture and oil paintings he’d slowly replaced our cheap thrift store finds with this year without ever asking Rae or me if it was okay.
I was suddenly drowning in regrets. Things I’d done wrong. Things I couldn’t change but would haunt me in a different way than the blood and death I’d seen in Sadie’s bar that day had. My throat closed. I needed air.
I slipped out the front door onto the long balcony that traveled the length of our apartment. I was surprised to find Mom already there in her wheelchair. People used to think we were sisters because we looked so much alike, but her blond hair was now edged with gray, and her hazel eyes looked worn and tired in a white face paler than I’d ever seen it.
Concern spiked. Was she hooked on painkillers again?
“You okay?” I asked and then winced. She wasn’t okay. She’d lost her leg. Her Jeep had been run off a cliff, and she’d almost died. And worse, they’d never found the person or the vehicle who’d nearly taken her out with one careless drive across a solid yellow line.
Mom reached out, grabbed my hand, and squeezed it. “Stop taking care of me, Fallon. It’s not your job.”
I wished I could believe those words. I’d been looking out for her for most of my life.
Except, I hadn’t been doing that for the last six years, had I? She’d stepped up, stayed clean, and ran the ranch’s resort smoothly and competently while I’d been away playing pretend.
No more.
I’d done what Dad had asked. I’d searched my soul for the truth, and all it had told me was what I’d already known when I’d left for college six years ago. I was ready to take up the reins Spencer had left me. My stepdad had given me the ranch and told me to make it mine.
Mine. Not Mom’s. Not Dad’s. But would they be able to step back and let me run with it? Would either of them be able to truly let go of the reins of a legacy that had slipped through both of their fingers? It had been Dad’s choice to let go of the ranch andleave it to Spencer, but Mom’s family had been fighting for it since they’d lost it a hundred years ago. In marrying Spencer, she’d finally achieved that. We’d never talked about it, but it had to have hurt that he’d left the ranch to me and not her. Sometimes, I believed it was the real reason there’d always been a barrier between us. A wall neither of us had been able to cross.
Deep in my thoughts, I was startled when Mom broke the silence, asking, “Areyouokay?”
“Of course,” I said without hesitation, smiling down at her. “Why?”
She glanced toward the open front door. Dad and Sadie were standing just inside it, love radiating from them. He had an arm draped around her waist with his head bent to hear whatever she was saying. Sadie’s silky black mingled with Dad’s dark brown. Other than a new bit of gray at his temples, Dad looked the same as he had when I was a little girl. Tall and strong and intimidating.
Sadie laughed as my siblings did a silly dance in front of them, and Dad’s lips tilted upward. Spencey and Caro had inherited Dad’s dark, wavy hair but had Sadie’s bluebell-colored eyes. At nine and seven, they were two of the happiest kids I’d ever met. Sometimes, even though I loved them, I was envious they’d never had to grow up wondering if they were truly wanted or just a burden their parents had accepted.
