Page 12 of The Moments You Were Mine
Then reality slammed into me. Guilt at the ease with which I’d let myself be drawn in.
I took her hands from where they’d landed behind my neck,crossed her arms in front of her, and pushed her away.
“No.” The single word was as much for myself as for her. This was off-limits. She was off-limits. I’d made a promise. A vow I intended to keep.
“JJ thinks I’ve already slept with you, so why shouldn’t I? When I denied it, he said even if we hadn’t bumped uglies, I couldn’t denywantingto, and when I hesitated, he just smirked and walked out.” She snapped her mouth shut, horror in her eyes at having admitted to wanting to sleep with me. I ground my teeth together and fisted my hands to avoid reaching for her. “Whatever. He’s pissed that I wouldn’t sleep with him after he invested an entire school year into this relationship, patiently waiting for me to give it up.”
“It doesn’t matter what your reasons are for telling him no. If he can’t respect your decision, then it’s better to toss him aside.” I looked around the bar and remembered her words from when I’d sat down. “So, after telling your actual boyfriend you wouldn’t sleep with him, you decided to what? Come and give yourself to some asshole Marine who wouldn’t know how to get you off and certainly wouldn’t be slow or gentle with you for your first time?”
It burned inside me. The thought of her giving herself to anyone, let alone some anonymous foot soldier who would forget her name before the night was over—if he even learned it to begin with. She deserved rose petals and silk sheets, candlelight and a sea breeze drifting through open curtains. She deserved to be romanced and cherished before, during, and long after the deed was done.
Terror larger than anything I’d ever faced on my missions swept through me because I could see myself giving it to her. Could see every beautiful moment. I was almost desperate to be the first to touch those soft spots deep inside her. To see her cheeks flush with real pleasure.
I needed a drink. I needed to get the fuck away.
She set my phone down, rested her forearms on the sticky bar, and laid her head on them. Her eyes fluttered shut, and more panic reared. How much had she had to drink before I’d walked in?
“It’s just a hymen, Frogman.” Her words were even moregarbled as sleep dragged at her. “It’s not like I even have one left after all my years on horseback.”
Irritation and more alarm surged, thinking about what might have happened to her if I hadn’t shown up. My eyes scanned the many, many jerks who would have been happy to take her up on what she’d offered, too drunk or not.
“It isn’t the body part, Ducky,” I bit back at her. “It’s the sentiment. The act itself should mean something for your first time.”
She didn’t respond. Her mouth dropped open just a little, and I realized she’d passed out.
Well hell.
I paid our tabs, swept her into my arms, and carried her outside. She made an inarticulate noise before leaning her head heavily on my chest, and my body went on high alert in all the wrong ways.
My house was only about two hundred paces from the bar. Over the last few years, it had become the perfect landing place for me and my squad at the end of our drunken bar crawls, but tonight, the walk seemed interminable. The scent of her wove itself into my very being. Salty seas and wildflowers. A smell that had comforted me the majority of my life.
As soon as my front door shut behind me, I realized my next problem—where to put her. I’d left Will in the guest room, fighting with his ex over the phone. I no longer had a couch in the living room, thanks to the mice who’d taken up residence in my consignment shop find. That left my bedroom. My bed. Where the scent of her would remain long after she’d gone, taunting my dreams with the one person I’d ever seen a future with and who I’d sworn not to claim.
I laid her down, removed her sandals, and covered her with the sheets and comforter. Her blond hair spread out, a sea of tangled curls that covered both pillows. Her face was relaxed and vulnerable. The fire that usually burst from every fiber of her being was shuttered. It felt wrong to see her so still and quiet.
Almost as wrong as it felt to come home after each deployment to a stale and silent house.
She seemed paler than normal, passed out with alcohol flooding her veins, and worry threaded through me once again.Any thoughts of sleeping on the floor disappeared. No way in hell was I sleeping. I turned her on her side and slid on top of the covers next to her, eyeing each breath she took, scrutinizing each movement of her pupils behind her lids.
I’d watch over her once more, glad to play the part I’d played many times before now.
But when morning came, I had to get away from her, away from a very single, very stunning Fallon Marquess-Harrington, before she ripped the promises I’d made to shreds.
Her lashes fluttered open, and we stared at each other for several long heartbeats.
“Kiss me, Parker. Make me feel alive in the way only you can.” My gut clenched, and my dick twitched, a physical reaction demanding I give in to her request before I buckled it down.
“Even if you weren’t drunk, I’d never say yes to you.”
Hurt and anger spun through those golden orbs.
“Never is an awfully long time, Frogman. I wonder just what it would take to break you.”
“I’m a SEAL. I don’t break. I don’t ring the bell. Ever.”
She pushed the comforter down and dragged her shirt over her head, revealing a magenta lace bra that did nothing to hide her rosy tips. I bit back a groan at the goddamn sweetness of her. My mouth watered, imagining the taste. I longed to give her exactly what she wanted.
Instead, I simply added this moment to all my other memories of her challenging the barrier I’d constructed between us. Times when I’d seen her dance atop the waves like a goddess, or watched her spin while standing on horseback with a lasso swirling, or listened as she begged me to stay because she’d never feel safe without me next to her.
