Page 16 of The Last Dance You Saved
My chest was a writhing viper’s den of emotions I despised. Where had the control I prided myself on disappeared to in the last twenty-four hours?
Somehow, I’d lost it in a sea of Sadie and a tide of regret over Fallon.
“Where were you?” I snarled. “How did you not even know she left?”
“I took a s-sedative,” Lauren choked on the words. “It’s the only way I’ve been able to s-sleep without him.” Another sob broke before she added on, “I won’t take them again. I swear to God I won’t.”
I ran a hand through my hair and sank down in the oversized black leather chair that had been custom-designed to fit me ergonomically. Money I’d thrown around like it was water, simply because I had it to spend. Because I was still proving to myself and everyone in this business that I wasn’t the farm boy from California who knew nothing except how to tame horses.
“I’m keeping the Cessna in my hangar in Vegas. She won’t be able to do it again.”
“I don’t understand what she thought she could achieve by doing this.” Lauren was slowly gaining control again, and I tried to do the same. We’d always been calm when discussing Fallon. Maybe because I’d never demanded more of my daughter’s life than Lauren was willing to give. Or maybe because we’d wanted to make things easy for the child we’d recklessly created together. Somehow, without a single word, we’d agreed she wouldn’t have to carry the burden of the love triangle that had torn the adults in her life apart.
And yet, she still had.
“She’s got some strange idea that—” If I told Lauren that Fallon thought her brother was involved in Spence’s death, it might send her over the edge again, and it was a ridiculous notion I was sure had no veracity. So instead, I told her the one truth we already knew. “She could change my mind about selling the ranch.”
Lauren was quiet for way too long. “She needs this place, Rafe. We both do.”
My voice was tight as I responded, “I survived without it. You will too.”
“Spence would hate you for it.”
“He already hated me.”
“No. He really didn’t. You were the only one who had hate in your veins.” She sounded so tired she could barely say the words.
I felt equally exhausted, from the same old argument that neither of us would win. I’d destroyed our family because I’d taken what I wanted—what I’d known had belonged to Spence—and tried to make it mine. Then, when it all went to hell, I took the portion of my inheritance that was due to me and ripped it away from the estate so I could build my empire.
And the ranch had suffered because of it. It had staggered under the weight of the interest from the loan Spencer had taken out to give me my share. I hadn’t known it was struggling, and in those early years, even if I had known how hard things were, I wouldn’t have cared. Even now, there was a part of me raising my fist in the air and saying, “See! You’d needed me.”
I turned to look out the windows at the Vegas Strip. At the town that had taken me in and given me refuge when my home had been off-limits. I’d been dazzled by the decadence. I’d thought I’d found something that could surpass what I’d lost. Something greater. But the constant restlessness that existed in my soul after the shine of each new achievement wore off was whispering to me lately that I’d been wrong.
The man-made mirage of Vegas could never match the beauty Mother Nature had crafted in my childhood home. The hills and valleys and waterfalls of the ranch were pure. In Vegas, manufactured splendor flickered in and out with the neon lights, disappearing with the dawn and leaving behind the sour taste of shame.
As much as I loathed to admit it, even the stunning architecture and elegant interiors of The Fortress were just more phony façades hiding the dirt and filth and crime that still existed below the surface. Filth like Lorenzo Puzo and his mob family, who’d shown me, firsthand, the evil that still existed in this city.
I turned away from the windows and looked down at the calendar opened on my laptop and the back-to-back meetings that filled my days. Irritation had me grinding my teeth. Not only at how my week had been blown apart, but at the desire stirring deep inside me to see the ranch again, to breathe fresh air, and take a long ride across flower-studded fields. My tone was sharp when I said, “I have meetings I can’t move today, but I’ll bring her home tomorrow.”
“I understand why she did it, Rafe…but God…” She inhaled deeply. “I know she’s hurting too, but we have to hold her accountable for this. There has to be consequences.”
“I grounded her. Told her she couldn’t leave the penthouse. I even took away her key card and said the cameras would alert me if she walked out of the suite.”
“Will they?” Worry returned to her voice. No matter what had passed between Lauren and me, she’d been a good and loving mom. Just like Spence had been a good and loving father. A better dad than I ever would have been, even if I’d stayed in Rivers.
“Not right away, but she doesn’t know that.”
“She’ll figure it out. She’s smarter than even you,” Lauren said, the backhanded compliment settling in my chest.
I didn’t feel smart these days. I’d built an empire but had been unable to heal my family. I’d become one of the youngest billionaires in the bar business and still allowed a farm girl from Tennessee to just about undo me.
“We’ll be back tomorrow sometime,” I said brusquely to Lauren.
“Fine.” She prickled at my terseness but softened, saying, “Thank you for keeping her safe.”
But her words only served to raise my hackles more. “She’s my daughter too.”
“I know. I just…” She sniffled again. “I’ve been failing her since Spence died. I haven’t… I don’t know how to reach her…and I haven’t really tried. I was—” She cut herself off, her breathing erratic, but her voice was strong and sturdy as she said, “It doesn’t matter. I’ll fix it. She’s all that matters.”
