Page 107 of The Last Dance You Saved
She fell to her knees, eyes blazing, as she took two last gasping breaths and then landed on the floor at my feet.
Chapter Thirty-five
Rafe
THE MAN I WANT TO BE
Performed by Chris Young
Four days had passed since I’dsent Sadie and Fallon away. Four days and we were no closer to finding Adam and Theresa. No closer to ending the danger that hovered around me and mine. I loathed the useless feeling it left me with. The simple knowledge I couldn’t control what happened to us made the rage I felt at the missing couple eat away at my insides.
I needed this to be over and behind us, not only for our safety but so I could put things right with Sadie. So I could convince her I’d found a way to blend our worlds without her having to give up any of her dreams.
I wouldn’t let Sadie end up like my mother or my great-grandmother, feeling trapped and alone after having given up everything for the man they loved. As I reread Beatrice’s journal over the last few nights, it wasn’t her sadness that I’d felt, it had been my mom’s.
I remembered my parents’ arguments, her wanting them to take a trip to Florence or Paris or London so she could see and feel and learn from the great artists she admired, and Dad’s ever-consistent response that it wasn’t the right time. The young calves needed castrating. The fields needed seeding. The fire line around the buildings needed clearing. Something had always prevented them from going.
I didn’t understand why Mom hadn’t just flipped him off and gone without him, just as Beatrice could have returned to Hollywood and made a career for herself without Alasdair. So why hadn’t they? The answer was simple. They’d fallen in love with unyielding men who’d taken them for granted, who’d thought less of the dreams of the women they loved than they had of themselves and the ranch.
When the cancer had come for Mom the second time, I was almost sure she’d simply given up the fight because her life had felt so empty.
I wouldn’t let the same thing happen to Sadie. To us. I absolutely refused to repeat the cycle of my ancestors.
So, in the dark of the night, I made my decisions and formed my plans. A way to keep Sadie and to ensure she had what she wanted. But I was smart enough to realize I needed to wait until we were face-to-face to explain it to her. If I tried to do it over the phone, she’d simply say no. She’d dig those stubborn heels of hers in and offer herself up as some sort of sacrifice without letting me do the same in return.
Which was why I denied us the relief and pleasure of talking on the phone. Part of it was to ensure she had time to really think about what she was getting into with me. To give her a chance to back out before she committed herself to a man over a decade older than her. A smaller part of it was a way of hedging my bets, hoping my absence would make her desperate enough to accept the deal when I laid it at her feet. But the biggest reason was because if I heard her voice, the siren who’d stolen my heart would be able to convince me that she didn’t need the dreams she’d give up.
So instead, I concentrated on putting my plans in place, kicking them off so she’d have less reason to back down when she realized I’d already spent the money to get the ball rolling. I had the resources to make both my daughter’s dreams and Sadie’s come to life, and I couldn’t think of a better way of spending it.
So, while I felt useless and out of control with Adam and Theresa on the loose, I dug into the plans I had to give the two women I loved more than my own breath everything they deserved and more.
I started by hiring back most of the workers Spencer had laid off. With the ranch hands managing the day-to-day chores, it left Lauren free to develop a detailed plan for the ranch’s conversion with me.
I invited two companies to work up bids for the renovations we decided to make to the main house, converting it fully into a hotel, while we built a two-bedroom, two-and-a-half bath home on the hill for Lauren and Fallon that would give them privacy away from the resort activities. I had human resources post jobs for a live-in housekeeper and two assistants who would stay in the old servant quarters, and I talked to the head chef at The Fortress, compiling a list of his peers who might enjoy taking on the challenge of the five-star resort I was going to build in the middle of Nowhere, California.
And after Lauren left my side each day, I researched the feasibility of creating the theater in Willow Creek that Sadie had wanted. She likely had designs in mind already, and I’d honor those, but I hired a firm to look at similar performing arts centers around the country, not only for architectural and technical ideas but ideas on how they were run. A lot of similar centers in small towns were losing money, but there were successful case studies amongst the failures. I was confident, between the two of us, we’d make Sadie’s one of the winning ones.
A little over a week ago, I’d been strolling through The Fortress, satisfied at what I’d created but at a loss to what came next. The routine had already been getting to me. I’d been ready for the next adventure. Now, I’d found it. And it had nothing to do with bringing my visions to life but in bringing Sadie’s and Fallon’s dreams to fruition.
If I could convince Sadie of it, we’d split our time between Rivers and Willow Creek. We’d stick close to both our families, to the people who truly mattered. I’d still have to travel, keeping a finger on the pulse of Marquess Enterprises and all the businesses underneath it, but I could also afford to hire a chief executive officer to run it.
I could devote myself to the women I loved.
I could find my way back to the land and the horses I’d once thought I’d never leave.
And I’d make sure I was always there to be Sadie’s last dance partner.
I could have it all.
I just had to find Adam and Theresa and make sure they were incapable of hurting me and mine ever again.
I turned away from the window in the office, glancing down at the expensive suit I wore for the meetings I had scheduled today. The suit felt tighter than usual, more restricting after days spent in jeans and T-shirts. But I’d wanted the businessmen showing up today to see the multi-million-dollar entrepreneur I’d become rather than the cowboy they’d watched grow up.
I wanted them to take me seriously, starting with the architect who was coming to give me his bid for the renovations to the main house. I opened the tube with the original floorplans of the mansion I’d ordered from the city planning office. I pulled them out, rolling them along the desk and anchoring the corners with office supplies. We weren’t adding on to the house but were converting existing space to maximize it. As the vault was hardly used for anything more than storage these days, I thought we might be able to create a cozy, secret speakeasy bar out of it with a few high-top cocktail tables.
My finger skimmed across the plans to the office and the safe. I leaned down, squinting at some slanted lines that made no sense. My heart seemed to stop for several seconds before my finger ran along the drawing for the side wall, realization dawning at what I was seeing. Hidden goddamn passageways. They were so narrow a man could hardly fit inside them. They ran through several rooms downstairs, behind the butler’s quarters, and to a stairwell running up to a secret room in the attic.
I’d lived here for twenty years and never known they existed.
