Page 65 of After All The Wreckage
It brought a tiny smile to my lips, and I wasn’t sure why, but thirty minutes later, I was at their apartment knocking. Monte opened the door, and we stared at each other for a moment.
I was relieved to see there was no longer fear in his eyes when he looked at me. Instead, there was cautious curiosity. He was taller than me at thirteen, and even though he was nowhere near full grown, I could tell he’d eventually have the same broad-shouldered frame of his brother.
“Did you check before you opened the door?” I asked.
He rolled his eyes in that way teenagers perfected. “Yes. You sound like Gage.”
My heart skipped a beat.
Monte stepped back to let me in.
Ivy’s voice, singing theScooby-Dooanthem, could be heard from down the hall.
“She’s getting ready for bed. Gage will be up in a few minutes,” Monte explained.
I set my bag on the counter and turned back to him. “Gage said you wanted to talk. Is it about what happened? Would you prefer to wait for him?”
Monte’s stance was entirely his brother’s. Arms crossed over his chest, feet wide, eyes taking me in as if they could see into my soul. “He’ll want to be here for some of it. But…” Monte glanced down the hall to where the singing had stopped, and he shouted out, “What are you doing, Ivy?”
My lips twitched at the note in his voice that stated perfectly his suspicions of the quiet coming from her direction.
“Putting my pajamas on!” she yelled back as if offended he’d assume she was getting into trouble.
Monte dragged his gaze back to me. “My brother. He’s given up everything he ever wanted to be here for us. Looking out for us.”
I didn’t know what he wanted me to say to that, so I said nothing, and he continued.
“He’s not quite a martyr, but it’s pushing into that territory because he doesn’t do anything for himself. Ever. It’s all about the bar or us.”
My eye started to twitch as I got an inkling of where this conversation might be going, and I wasn’t sure I could have this kind of talk. Not with Gage’s younger brother. Not when Gage had insisted that pursuing whatever it was that burned between us was a mistake.
When I still didn’t respond, Monte shifted on his feet, showing the first signs of being uncomfortable. “I saw you two… this morning.”
A flush crept over my cheeks. There shouldn’t be anything embarrassing about kissing someone. And yet, knowing his little brother had seen us and knowing how close we’d been to tossing our clothes and finding out if the counter would hold my weight, I couldn’t help it.
I cleared my throat. “That was… It shouldn’t have happened.”
Monte grinned and a small chuckle escaped him. “That’s exactly what he said.”
My lips shifted up in return.
“Gage needs something—someone—who will force him to think about himself,” Monte said. “To go for a motorcycle ride. To remember who he was and what he wanted before he got weighed down with a pair of siblings and a business he never intended to run.”
The words were so grown up. So adult. Almost a parent’s words about a child, and I realized for the first time that it wasn’t just Gage who’d been forced to grow up after their dad had died and their mom had deserted them once again.
Monte may have only been ten when Demi left last, but he would have understood it. Just like I’d gotten it when my parents divorced because of me at twelve. Kids took on those burdens whether the adults in their lives wanted them to or not.
“I think…” I paused, trying to collect my thoughts. “I think Gage is very happy with his life, Monte. I think he loves being here with the two of you. He wouldn’t change that.”
He nodded. “I’m not saying he should go back to Kansas to chase storms. I’m saying, I want someone to remind him that he’s still Gage. Not just Dad’s stand-in or a bar owner or whatever. Someone who will look out for him as much as he looks out for us. He’ll never let Ivy or me be that person. He never lets anyone be that for him. Not even River and Audrey.He’s so worried about anyone else having to give up anything that he’s determined to be the only one who sacrifices.”
My breath caught for a moment as I realized the full extent of his words. Of what he was suggesting. I asked softly, “And you think I can be that person for him? What makes you think Gage will let me do that anymore than he’d let you?”
“He hasn’t dated anyone since Dad died. Not once. He made me switch rooms with Ivy so I could have my own. He’s twenty-seven, and he’s living like a monk, sharing a bedroom with his three-and-a-half-year-old sister.”
My face flushed again because Monte was talking about Gage and me having sex just as much as he was talking about me being there for Gage in some sort of relationship. As if he’d just realized what he’d implied, Monte turned red as well. He looked down, rubbing a sock-clad foot along a seam in the wood flooring.
“I’m not… I mean… Just.” He inhaled deeply. “For once I’d like for him to go somewhere, do something, and it be about what he wants, not about what Ivy or I want.”
