Page 15 of After All The Wreckage
Performed by Miley Cyrus
While I was doingmy best to concentrate on Shay’s conversation with Devlin and his friend Luis, I was on high alert waiting for Gage to show up. Since I’d been in town, I’d listened to the gossip, and I might have even done a little digging on my own. The only nights he wasn’t behind the bar at the tavern were Sundays and Wednesdays.
I wished it were Wednesday.
Liar, my brain said as my heart picked up its pace.
The music had kicked in, making it almost impossible to talk. My friend leaned into Devlin, and he tucked a curl of her shimmering blond hair behind her ear. Her pale skin was flushed with more than blush. Her green eyes sparkled and her heart-shaped lips turned upward, the bright pink lipstick a perfect accent to the magenta sweater she was wearing. She looked like the cherry blossoms that bloomed in spring. Sweet.Kind. Iridescent. We were complete opposites. She was the light, elfin fairy who’d grant your wish. I was the warrior you feared showing up at your door.
The truth hit me out of the blue like malware… For the first time since everything that had gone down with her ex Rico, Shay was happy. Unlike a computer virus, this thought brought a bit of joy to my heavy heart. She deserved to be happy.
I shifted my gaze away from them to scan the room as an old sensation bled into me. My stomach flipped like I was on a roller coaster. Like it used to do when I was in the room with only one man. After going years without ever feeling again the spark of electricity I used to feel when Gage was nearby, I’d thought I’d imagined it. But tonight, as my eyes found Gage behind the bar, the spark returned, just as strong, if not stronger. As if it actually might burst into a full-on flame. As if something was in the air more than the normal push and pull of particles. As if a banked fire had finally received the oxygen it needed to come fully to life.
He seemed at ease behind the bar, but then that had always been Gage—calm and sure. He was smiling, maybe even flirting a bit with the woman across from him as he twirled a bottle. His biceps flexed as he caught the neck before it crashed to the ground. And while I’d never seen him behind the taps, mixing and pouring, it seemed like he belonged there—as if he and the building were one. Maybe the tavern had been in his family for so long that it had become a sentient part of his DNA.
Maybe I needed to stop drinking my Jack and Coke before my brain melted. I didn’t believe in that kind of paranormal bullshit any more than I believed in sappy fairytales spouting magical wishes and true love.
Shay elbowed me, drawing my attention away from Gage and back to the men we were with.
A group shuffled out of the large booth up front, and I said, “Grab the table before it’s gone.”
We hustled toward the soft burgundy leather, and Audrey showed up to take our order. She knew Shay on sight, asking about her dad and how things were at the Tea Spot. Shay asked if Audrey had sold any new sculptures in return. As Audrey walked away with our order, I realized she hadn’t recognized me. It had been a long time since my mom and I had hung around Holland, the 5-H club, and the bar. Too long. And now Mom might never be there again.
I forced back that thought, turning to give Luis a smile, and asked, “What do you teach at Bonnin?”
He shook his head, leaning in a bit, his blond hair glowing in the dim lights. “I’m just here visiting Devlin. I’m actually an associate professor at Wilson Jacobs in New York. Are you a grad student like Shay?”
Before I could respond, my friend jumped in. “Rory’s finishing a double major in criminology and computer science while working as a badass private investigator. Someday you’re going to turn on the news and see her in an FBI windbreaker with a man in cuffs on the ground at her feet.”
Luis’s eyes turned wide, and I couldn’t help but tease, “Putting a man in cuffs is one of my favorite things.”
Shay snorted, Devlin cleared his throat, and Luis flushed bright red.
I turned away so I wouldn’t be rude and laugh in the poor guy’s face, and for the first time in seven years, my gaze met Gage’s. Across the dimly lit space, you wouldn’t know his eyes were the color of gray storm clouds flecked with lightning that could scorch you, leaving a crater behind, but his dynamic chemistry seemed to pull the air from the room. His aura screamed power and control. A man who would get things done. A man who was used to being the center of attention.
A man who could handle handcuffs.
The sleeves of his Henley were pushed up to the elbows, exposing a tattoo on his left forearm he hadn’t had the last time I’d seen him. I wanted to run over and examine it. To find all the differences in him, both externally and internally, from when he’d been the teenage boy I’d repeatedly fallen for.
The intensity of that look—of him—on top of everything else going on in my life seemed to land on me all at once. A damn screw that had been wrenched too tight. I couldn’t catch my breath, and a sudden, desperate urge to escape rose within me when I’d never been the running type.
I scooted out of the booth, and Shay shot me a pleading look. “You’re not leaving, right?”
“Just using the restroom.” But I think we both knew I might bolt.
I made my way through the crowd, feeling Gage’s eyes follow me. I wasn’t sure whether I was surprised or not that he’d seen me. That he’d not only seen me but was now trailing me with a penetrating look I could feel across the room.
In the bathroom, I stared at the woman in the mirror. I felt like a shadowy reflection of myself—of the girl Gage had first met. It was as if I was losing pieces of myself day by day. As if Mom’s coma was somehow reaching out to haul me into the abyss with her.
I shook my head, trying to clear the dark thoughts and calm my racing heart.
It didn’t work. I needed to get out of there. I wasn’t good for Shay or her joyful not-date date. I was covered in a sluggish haze that had followed me here like the fog creeping in from the Potomac. The only thing that might clear it was a few hundred rounds to my punching bag or maybe losing myself in a tricky computer hack.
Straightening my shoulders, I strode to the door with determination, pushing it open and colliding with a thick body.Hard, muscled, and tall. My instincts flared to life—not the usual, put-up-my-fists reaction, but the slow-burning fire that had always swirled through me when one and only one man was nearby.
Gage’s large hands steadied me, and the warmth of his touch only intensified the storm brewing inside me. By the time my eyes finally reached his, one of his brows was raised slightly. An alluring, teasing lift I’d once adored and longed to mimic.
“Where’s the fire, Pipsqueak?” he asked, lips quirking upward.
